go to the fourth escalator east of the aquarium in the cheez-it factory and ask for Sylvester, he'll smuggle you into a zoo transport barge going to Transylvania. there, in the back of the Super Bear convenience store, is a box. in that box, there is a hogwarts acceptance letter. you fill in your name in the blank portion of the letter, but you must do this in calligraphy. if you do not know calligraphy, there is a really great tutor that can have you mastering calligraphy in just 48 short days. go to the center of Spain. in the exact center of Spain, there is a bright blue stone in the pathway. step on that. a plane will come to get you and take you to his secret, remote headquarters. ask for rolando. then go back to the supermarket once you have mastered calligraphy and retrieve your acceptance letter. you are now a student of hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. your welcome.