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savannalovee
savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone

What's it mean if your boyfriend constantly uses the " if you love me you will" card?

we're both 17 if age matters. but I've told him I hate it when he says that but he still does it anyways.

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Curious_One
Curious_One: 5 months ago

Then turn that phrase back on him. It all depends on the situation.. if he says something like "make me a sandwich.. if you love me you would" You can say " if you're a man..respect me like a woman and make your own damn sandwich" Respect is important in a relationship. If he doesn't respect you then move on. You are young.

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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Well if it was over a sandwich I wouldn't care I'd tease back.
But it's always with kissing and massaging and things of that nature
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
oh then he is just lazy and taking advantage of you. Put your foot down now because if you don't he'll know he can walk all over you.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Okay, I will. But I've told him "stop that man or ill have to end this relationship" and he just gets all angry and stuff
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
you're the woman.. and I tell you by experience. Women are the boss in the relationship. There is a lot of things men cannot do without women. doesn't mean you can turn around and disrespect him just let him know that you are more worth than he is treating you. Don't make excuses for him.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Okay. Ill stomp my foot next time. Let him know who is in charge.
Thank you:-)
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
You are 17 years old. If you haven't already graduated from High school Don't worry about little relationships like this. If you don't like it break up. You have the previlige of experiencing different relationships with other people from now on.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
I know, it would just be a hard break up. I mean, just 1 year down the drain. 3 year friendship *bloop* gone
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
I dated one girl in high school for a year and a half.. and I regretted it. I also though it would've been a hard break up and a year wasted.. but when you look back.. it's always going to be hard and it's never going to be wasted because you are going to learn to respect yourself and what to expect from a relationship. If he is truly a friend then you guys will be friends after all the hard stuff is over. Just don't regret it at first Like I did.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Okay. I understand what you mean. Ill give it a shot.
Like I said earlier, Thank you for your help:)
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
No problem. Besides.. sex is a whole lot better when you give the girl massages because then she is willing to show you how much she appreciates you. Guys are different.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
How so?
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
I know little of sexual stuff. I'm one of the few innocent teenagers.
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
Well, for guys sex is easily pleasurable for them. We can go in and be out and get ours as simple as that. As for girls. Not all girls Orgasm from simply penetration. Four play enhances a girls desire and final explosion. If you massage a girl before sex it excites her more in a way that she will want to do more for the guy then just letting him get his and that's the end of it. Speaking from experience but you are only 17 so you need not get all the experience now. Focus on your school work!
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
Oh my there is a GOD. Thank god. Good for you. I don't know you but I just shedded a proud tear for you. I was beginning to doubt today's society and thinking the only virgins and innocent people in this world can be found in elementary schools
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Estelle08: 5 months ago
And it feels like 1 year down the drain now, but the longer you stay, THE MORE WASTED TIME IT IS. Just take what you have learnt from this. It was an experience. It wasn't wasted if you learnt something.

And Curious_One is totally right, there are alot more benefits to having a relationship for guys, than girls. There are a lot of things men can't do without women. Especially when it comes to bedroom sruff. Which is probably the only reason your bf is with you. Sounds harsh. But just think about it..
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
True story ^ to think I would one day be giving advice to a 17 year old when I was once a 17 year old in need of advice.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Yeah today's society of teenagers is sad and pathetic "yolo" lol so stupid and ignorant.
And yeah I may just kick him.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
I am focused on school, that's one thing my parents taught me right lol.
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
Good for you! I was stupid in high school. I paid too much attention to girls and didn't do well in school because of it.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Dang, well that suck:(
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RainbowdashPegasi: 5 months ago via iPhone
My brother is just like that. He's so into girls and has a 2.3 GPA -_- He's in his 2nd year of high school, and that's really low.
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
You should talk to him trust me. It's not the way to go. Yeah, having a girlfriend in high school can be exciting and doing things you aren't supposed to be doing can be exciting but that's all it is..
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Estelle08: 5 months ago
Just dump him. Tell him you aren't just a substitute for his hand, and tell him you're done. Short and simple.
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jacqui607
jacqui607: 5 months ago via iPhone

Tell him to cut It out and don't do the things he wants.. How annoying! I would tell him to shut up

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Estelle08
Estelle08: 5 months ago

Sounds like he is trying to pressure you and manipulate you. It takes a certain sort of person to say that to someone. Try to imagine yourselff saying that to someone. Its a pretty negative mindset to be in. A sleazy mindset.
I'd reassess why you are with him honestly.

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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
He is a nice guy, I've known him for 3 years.
But he always uses it for like massages or kisses or things of that nature if you catch my drift.. :/
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
oooo you mean like Oral sex? excuse me for bein blunt.. but I don't even say that stuff to my gf.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Yeah and like even full on sex. It makes me angry.
But when I threaten to break up with him he just gets angry and will say "I'm just kidding babe" when I and him know damn well he's not kidding. I just don't know how to get it through his thick skull to stop using that little phrase against me
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
He doesn't respect you period. He just wants the good stuff and is trying to get that outta ya while he can.
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Curious_One: 5 months ago
You my friend are dating a BOY and not a MAN. Know thy difference.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
I know. /:
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Estelle08: 5 months ago
No one should ever say that to anyone. Its a HUGE sign that he doesn't respect you. Dump him, and raise your standards for the next guy.
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
I will:-)
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Magical_Snake
Magical_Snake: 5 months ago via Android

dump him. he only really loves himself and if he truly loved you he would NEVER use your feelings as leverage. He clearly doesn't respect you if he's pressuring you into things you are not comfortable with.

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adolf_oliver_bush
adolf_oliver_bush: 5 months ago via iPhone

He's a douche

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sammy30
sammy30: 5 months ago

its what every man and women say when they want you to do something you dont really wanna do. like for example boy - baby if you love me you'll sleep with me girl - baby if you love me you'll spend all that pay check on me

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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
Well that's what he uses that on me for, even for massages and kissing and sometimes even sex! It's gross and saddening
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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
That what he uses his for is sex and massages and kisses. I've told him to knock it off or ill have to break up with him but then he gets angry and stuff. Then a week or so later he does it again.
And I've never used that card against him!
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AndrewGray1398
AndrewGray1398: 5 months ago

He sounds immature. Respond back by playing the "if you love me you won't make me card."

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savannalovee: 5 months ago via iPhone
I've done that! And he still does it every time.
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AndrewGray1398: 5 months ago
Sorry, Obviously it's not a good thing that he continues to do something you don't like. Perhaps you need to reevaluate the relationship. Even if it's just this one thing you need to do something about it.
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BxVigilant
BxVigilant: 5 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 2:20AM on 1/28/2013

Don't play cards with him, you need to flush him, he sounds like a joker looking for a piece of ace, if he wants a queen of hearts, he needs to stop being a royal ..hmm ..alright i ran out of double in-tundra you get my point though, just don't play poker with a player like that.

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peter35
peter35: 5 months ago via iPhone

Someone that truly loves you doesn't do that.

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swallex
swallex: 5 months ago

He's stupid and doesn't know how to be a real boyfriend.

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anabella406
anabella406: 5 months ago via iPhone

That means he's still a dumb immature kid and u need to leave him lol

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fortenyc74
fortenyc74: 5 months ago via iPhone

Sounds insecure.

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Scarychimchar
Scarychimchar: 5 months ago

if he will do that to you no regards dump him, he's a fool to treat someone like that. man how idiotic are boys today, i feel sorry for anybody with some one like that as there boy friend.

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bellydncr
bellydncr: 5 months ago via iPhone

It means he is 17 and attempting to manipulate you.

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EdwardGoodman
EdwardGoodman: 5 months ago

you to bend to his every whim

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Restorer
Restorer: 5 months ago via iPhone

Manipulator Manipulator Manipulator Warning Manipulator Manipulator Manipulator Warning Manipulator Manipulator Manipulator

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RainbowdashPegasi
RainbowdashPegasi: 5 months ago via iPhone

It means he wants everything to be his way and done his way.

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janadu
janadu: 5 months ago via iPhone

If he's manipulating at 17, he'll go on to controlling you when he gets older. Dump his ass!!!

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andranik
andranik: 5 months ago via iPhone

I feel sorry for you. You will not have good times with him, dump him as soon as possible.

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susan.elliott
susan.elliott: 5 months ago via iPhone

A good response would be "if you loved me you wouldn't ask"

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M_squared
M_squared: 5 months ago via Android

He's controlling & shouldn't say that to pressure you into doing things he knows you don't want to. Real love isn't like that!

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cookieroma
cookieroma: 5 months ago via iPhone

Yes, age can matter as neither if you are done cooking. I sometimes joke with my husband and say "if you love me, you'd..............." But we both know I'm kidding and laugh. When your bf does it seriously, that tells me that it's about him, not you.

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RebeccaGardner
RebeccaGardner: 5 months ago via Android

Its controlling trust me I just got out of a relationship like that

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jojo2430
jojo2430: 5 months ago via iPhone

It means he's trying to bargain and intimidate you to change into what he needs you to be for himself. Very selfish!

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EricBetsey
EricBetsey: 5 months ago | Last edited at 4:23PM on 1/30/2013

God, the originator of male female relationships has described in his word the meaning of true love. "Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up,does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Cor. 13:8) Love is a self-sacrificing emotion.True love gives not gets.

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Flakie
Flakie: 4 months ago

Hes selfish. Don't do anything you aren't comftorable with.

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jeyvhi
jeyvhi: 4 months ago

she doesnt respect you ... DUMP him

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MarySchneck
MarySchneck: 4 months ago

He's immature and controlling... run while you can!

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