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why doesn't my mom love me ?

I'm 21 n my whole life my mom has pushed me away I have a older sister she is 24. me n her are from the same dad.my dad used to hit my mom so she left him n now married again n I have a 15 year old sister n a 13 year old brother..she always shows love to them huggs them kisses them cuddles them n when I try to Hugh her she tells me she don't like huggs,she treats me so different.when I was 14 she sent me away to another state with my grandparents for a whole year cuz she said I was to rebel n my step dad kicked me out so many times when I was a minor . I got tired of it that the last time he kicked me out I moved in with my nd who I only had known for a couple weeks n who I have a abusive relation ship n a DAUGTHER.I try so much for my mom to love me she tells me she loves us all the same but she never shows me love she always pushes me away n when I tell her she tells me I'm jeleous of my brother's n sisters n she won't accept it.I buy her things when I can give her money,help her out in any way.I know I was a rebel child n we fight a lot but I'm still her child y does she treat me like this.if I argue with my Siblings she always gets their side n I'm the bad one.my brother pulled a knife on me n it was my fault.when I didn't do nothing he just got mad out of nowhere .she always tells me mean things on how I look she never tells me I'm pretty or nothing.idk what to do y can't she love me???

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Such a black heart she possesses. Maybe God has more love awaiting for u from others of your loved ones. Atleast thats what I can pray....:(

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thank u
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there is no mum hate her kids

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violetcampos, I'm so sorry for what you are going thru. And I wish I could make your mother see what she's doing to you. What I'm going to tell you, comes from complete experience.
My mother was diagnosed a few years ago, with all kinds of things, ranging from Bi-polar to Manic Depressive. (these are not all either). My entire childhood, I could count on, at least one time a year, "catching" my mom trying to commit suicide. One time my younger brother, 3 years old, walked into the bathroom, and I followed him, my mom was drunk, had a bottle of vodka in one hand, and a razor blade getting ready to.. well you get the point. I was 11.
Anyways, this is just a part of the things she put me thru. And continues to put me thru. By the way, I'm 31.
I was in counseling for awhile, and my counselor told me, what she was doing was emotional abuse. It's one of the HARDEST forms of abuse to cope with. And you know what she told me to do. Stop communicating with her. That's the only way. I know this is hard to hear sweetie, but you can NOT let her treat you the way she is. If speaking with her about it didn't fix it, nothing will.
Chin up sweetie. Good luck.

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sorry to hear that too,my mom shes not sick,she's healthy idk y she acts like this.In high school we had counseling but it didn't help.
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My mom wasn't diagnosed with these things, like I said until a few years ago. She didn't "act" sick either. I'm seeing a lot of things I experienced, in your question.
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ohh well theirs no way she would go n get,checked out specially if I ask her ,she thinks I need help,she always tells me that cuz I have a berry bad relationship.
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Doesn't it scare you violet? The way your mother treats you, do you ever feel like you're going to be a bad mom because of it?
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the way she is with me makes me love my DAUGTHER even more.I never want her to feel what I have.a mother's love is amazing n priceless. :(
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Because of the way my mother treats me, that is one of my biggest fears.
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u will be a good mom,u know how it fells, u wouldn't put someone trough that pain,
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ask God to change her perspective that she has on you, so she can accept you the way you r. Your daily task, is to b a good kid, demonstrate a great example to ur siblings no matter what r the circunstances; I can imagine that there r times that u cant take it anymore, but be strong b4 any situation that comes along; what I believe is,with God nothing is impossible...ask him 2 change your character, n things will work well4 u..be blessed:)

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I try I live with her pay rent but I'm never home I come come twice a month n when I get their she tells me when are u living today right how long. I love my mom so much .she's just hurting me a lot.
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How much do you look like your dad. Could be every time she sees you, she sees him. Just a thought, it has happened before. If you do resemble him, try to change it next time you see her. If not, refer back CJs answer.

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I look just like my mom n my gradfather my moms dad.
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just have to realize you are the black sheep. best not to worry about it and just move on with your life. if your mother don't come around, don't let it rule your life.

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becouse she thinks she can control them you had your own mind ..just try to make better choices with your life and children ..perents allway lose focus on the older ones

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she has always treated me like this since I remember.
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her problems.... sorry hope u can come together It might be the problems before your birth those can keep a person bitter
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It's hard...I had a similar situation with my mom when I was growing up, my daughter will be seventeen & I could never do that kind of crap to my daughter. I love her so much.~ the sad thing is, you never can completely get over it. I'm 44 & I still often ask myself what I did wrong...but I guess it's just them, there loss in the end.

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your story mad me cry man.i went to that but she did show us love but more for my 3 sis n my lil bro.i was rebel 2 i never went to boot camp nor to prison i use to fight im so blessed by god that i havent gone there.like she buys them n gives them money. she doesnt give me any kuz she thinks im still in drugs kuz i relapse but its like once in 4 months i got away from my bad friends even when they tell me stuff like mamas boy yeah i thank god that i am r u guys jealous? i told me friends.my mom was hard on me i dont got a dad living withh us i do see him.well i change how i dress kuz she dint like it n i wasnt either.so i hug her even though she doesnt like it i sat wit her n told her sorry for everything i have done that hurted u i aint perfect it wasnt your fault for the life i choose its mine fault n read my comment can't put more here

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i love u n im jealus of my bro n sisters u have show them so much love to them i said i dont care about the money just love me bac. so i gave a dozen of flowers to my mom n one was fake n it had a note well actually like 2pages of questions front n back but i folded it so small. she notice i told her till that flower dies ill stop loving n caring for u n u can always answer my questions n i can answer yours. now im good wit my mom i can fell her love it was wierd at the begining kuz she never told me she loves me or kiss me aww i always kissed her in front people kuz one day ill want to kiss her n she aint gana b there ha she got shy but the other people in the bus were like aww :) i wish my son did that 2 so yeah thats my story hope it help n come n tell me was up oh n i dedicate her this song if u were gangster u know was up (2Pac - Dear Mama ) if no see the video it still makes me cry :'( she was mean but somehow she was still there for u n me
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I am so so sorry to hear what you are going through. I know you want nothing more than for your mom to show you love and affection. I can't say I've gone through what your going through now but there are ways to cope with what going on in your life. I could suggest seeing a family therapist and you can include your mom or just go by yourself. I support you on what you do but let me tell you that your life is affected also by how your mom lived her life while you were growing up in that abusive relationship with her husband chat is why she pushed you away because your a reminder of how she lived in the past. Believe me when I say all this is not your fault. Life is not fair at times but it doesn't mean you won't be able to heal a broken heart. Get some professional help and you will find peace within yourself. Don't let your life now eat you alive. God bless you and best of luck

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Her behavior towards you is a reflection of HER , NOT OF YOUR worth. My dad has never loved me. I know it hurts. I have found peace and healing knowing that God loves me. I have allowed His love to heal me. I have a wonderful husband that loves me and I try to just enjoy and focus on his love for me. Does the dad thing still hurt??? Yep. ALWAYS will. But it's HIS DYSFUNCTION. Hurting people, hurt people. It sounds like your mom is just playing out the role that she's familiar with. BTW my dad favored my sister and step-sister and was very blatant about it. Now that we're all grown (I'm 31) we can ALL see how jacked up the man really is. Stop trying to "earn" her love. All that's doing is hurting YOU more, and setting you up for more rejection. Instead, surround yourself with people who do love you. And distance yourself from those that hurt you.

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My advice would be to pull away and live your life. She will either be ok, or she will come to you because she does love you, if you aren't coming to her. Accept her for who she is, and live your life right now. Perhaps you are focusing too hard on the past hurt and making her show love she can't show, instead of letting her do it the best she can. maybe you can start focusing effort on fixing your life, because thats not good either. One thing I would do is write her a letter saying that you regret all the problems you may have had a contribution in, and just tell her you love her without expectation and accept that she has to be who she is and not just what you need. Then move on and wait, if its there it will come to you and you will embrace it well without anger, just don't put your life on hold living in anger and hurt over what you didn't get. I'm sorry you are abused but you are also in charge of continuing in that relationship or not, everyone knows there's help out there, be strong and go get it. Feeling sorry for yourself will only hurt you right now. Make a better life by changing what you hate about it starting today. Set a goal, and then save money in your name only, it's empowering , Do not be afraid to change YOU because that's all the power you have anyway. People have to change themselves to make things better with other people.

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