If he requested that you do not tell him after cheating on him, it probably means that he understands how painful it feels for someone to be cheated on. I would advise you to avoid a repeat of the same, since you already feel guilty of what you did.

MiloMilo: 3 months ago

yeah totally. I feel like this has completely changed my outlook on everything, i don't want to be shit to ANYONE, ever! If he hadn't been so insistent on 'never wanting to hear about it' I would've said so straight away. But yeah, he understands. I think this pain must be my problem to deal with this time.

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You do realize in the question it says 6 years and in the info it says early twenties... Right?

MiloMilo: 3 months ago

yeahhh, we've been together since we were 18. he's my first boyfriend/(previously) only sexual partner.

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MiloMilo: 3 months ago

yeah correct. well, I guess we're mid-20's now. got together at the start of university.

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In my experience, its usually the people who physically TELL you that they won't cheat, who are the ones who likely will.
Someone who literally wouldn't cheat, wouldn't even bring it up in the first place.

Up to you whether or not you think you can continue the relationship without telling him, it's hard when you have to concentrate on keeping secrets.

If you tell him, then maybe one day you can both eventually forget about it.

If you don't tell him, then you may never be able to move past it yourself.

Depends on what sort of person you are. Not telling him isn't neccessarily a bad thing, it just depends on your circumstance on your end.
Once a guy pecked me on the mouth when I was in a relationship, and when I saw my bf that afternoon, I was so worried about keeping secrets that I told him after about 10 mins, when the whole time in between I was telling myself to never tell him!
I personally just hate having to watch what I say, its hard enough for me to think twice before I speak even when I don't have secrets!

Perhaps seeing as he has cheated on you before, and gotten it off his chest, it would be better for you to tell him too.

MiloMilo: 3 months ago

Yeah totally...it's without a doubt, the most out-of-character thing that's ever happened to me. I know I must have let it happen for a reason though. Thanks for your comments.

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I actually just cheated and felt horrible so I told on myself. Nothing good came from it. I couldn't NOT tell my partner...she was devastated and broke up with me. And I'm currently working through the issue now trying win her back. Some ppl can give second chances and some can't. I don't personally know ur boyfriend..is he forgiving? If he is..I would tell him. Explain how sorry u r. And if he asks questions..answer truthfully. To everything. Cuz he will find out later and it'll upset him even more. If he's not really a forgiving person...and u don't wanna lose him or his trust I wouldn't tell him unless ur willing to fight through ALOT of stress and doing ANYTHING u can to get him back. But you may just lose him.

MiloMilo: 3 months ago

Thanks babe, i hope things work out with you two. If he hadn't been so insistent on 'never' wanting to know I'd totally tell him asap...it's just that he made the rule..feels like he realised when he cheated that the problem was his. I know what it feels like...I think if he ever asks, or changes his mind about the rule, I'd definitely tell him.

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nlfrantz2010: 3 months ago via iPhone

Being 100% honest...it hurts wayyyy more when u cheat rather then being cheated on. I've been in both places. It just sucks it hurts seeing the one person u love in so much pain and knowing u caused that. Trust me...! Also maybe next time, since u both cheated so it seems like u both were kind of bored. Try having a 3 some lol. My situation was a bit different. I cheated with an ex...it was STUPID. I know I woul never do it again. That's for sure

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Fidelity, loyalty, faith, care and share are the pillars of any RELATIONSHIP, if any of these pillars are weak the relationship will not last long. Try to cement it rather then break it.

Could be you both aren't really ready for commitment. How can you really trust each other now? You will always be wondering what he's up to, and vice versa.Sounds like a tough road.

MiloMilo: 3 months ago

that's true to an extent.. but I really know I won't do it again. As in, feeling borderline suicidal with self-loathing and regret... And I believe he's past it too. He experienced all this 2 years ago and although he depends on close female friends for validation, it's not a problem. Also...the physical aspect of cheating (from my experience) isn't about sexual dissatisfaction at all. The times in which we both cheated we both felt trapped, but have since realised the fickleness/fleeting nature of that feeling

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Bubblious: 3 months ago via iPhone

Milo, sounds like you are sincere. I get where you are coming from. The question going forward is are you able to 100% forgive each other ( will he display the same logic and forgiveness) can you trust again, and are you convinced it won't happen again for different reasons.

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I dont know. Both of them cheated. I see a lot of drifting apart. Do you really want to be in this relationship? Ofcourse its gonna hurt him if you tell him but it might hurt you as well if you hide it. Truth will come out someday you cant hide it. Better take a break and see how it goes.

So you BOTH cheated? Well you know what they say, two wrongs make a right, you two are perfect for each other.

For heaven sake!!! Just break up!!! Neither if you are morally mature enough to try to maintain this kind of a relationship!

Well, like they say, the truth hurts, and right now I'd say the truth is the least of your worries.

You are the one who made a mistake, don't punish him for your goof-up, keep your mouth shut and suffer in silence. Furthermore, he already told you he doesn't want to know, how about listening to him. Under these circumstances, confessing is a selfish act made to ease your conscience. We all make mistakes, forgive yourself for making a mistake, and move on with your life--keeping your secret. Since he told you not to tell him, this isn't lying, it is respecting his wishes.

Haha good luck with that!