What is a good substitute when a recipe calls for red or white wine for a recovering alcoholic
Don't substitute anything - just omit the wine. Even when the alcohol burns off there is still the wine taste which is not a good idea for a recovering alcoholic.
There are some good alcohol free wines on the market. They will contain a tiny amount of alcohol, around 1/2%, but that will boil off very quickly when cooked.
try to pick a recipe that does not use any alcohol. even a reminder of someone's addiction can make it harder for them.
When you cook wine it is no longer alcohol but if you dont even want it in the house then... Maybe grape juice? :D
For white wine you can substitute chicken broth. For red beef broth if its appropriate. Sometimes smaller amounts of vinegar.