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I need help with this confusing girl

ok so theres this girl that has been hurt in the past we were friends for a really long time but i always knew she liked me i finally asked her out it was okay at first she pushed me away and away but sais she loves me probably afraid to get hurt again i kept asking her questions cause she wasnt open at all which was why i decided to wait before asking her out so she would trust me she sais she loves me . she has depression issues and anger issues. she dosent open up and i am willing to wait. she hasnt responded to my texts for at least a month now and hasnt called me at all. we have hung out a few times but we arent happy and i need to know what i should do because i dont want to break up with her, i can tell shes scared or something and is lying to me but when i talk to her friends she seems to be acting or something or their lying. i dont know who to believe and what to do if i should break up with her cause shes lying or to stay cause she really does care. i have never once hit her or anything and have always tried to listen to her but i cant get her to put down her walls she isnt happy and i need to know what i should do to make her happy. i am seeing her on saturday

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You seem like the sweetest guy to put up with all of her depression and anxiety and such. Truthfully, all you have to do is be there for her when she needs you. Just keep letting her know that you are there for her and that is about all you can do. The rest will come naturally :)

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Agreed, the consistancy of you being there and gaining her trust will make her happy.
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its been more than a year now
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i think she thinks im trying to hurt her when im really not and is being a bitch for a long time now
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She's traumatized, it can take weeks, months, even years to get over it.
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lol that makes me laugh she just came out of rehab
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Dude, run.

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i wish man! but shes been abandoned in the past which makes me wonder
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I promise u it's all bad news. I've been down that road. She mite be a decent person, but ultimately, she's only concerned w herself and her problems. She's absorbed by it. There's no room 4 u. That's why she thinks nothing of not texting u back, or making efforts 2 see u. You're setting yourself up 4 heartbreak man.
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thats kinda the problem i dont know if shes lying or not if shes lying then oh well but if she actually cares about me i dont want to hurt her>

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I'd bet she's lying 2 u about tons of things. She has no self-worth. That makes her likely 2 cheat on u whenever some guy pays her any kind of attention. Even if u set out 2 not hurt her, she will find a way 2 blame u 4 something. Little things that shouldn't be an issue. Fact is, she's not ready 2 let someone love her. Does she hold out on sex? Limit the interaction u have w ppl she knows? Break plans w u at the last minute? Find reasons 2 be mad at u when u just wanna help her? Then turn around and ask u 4 help w something bc "you're the only one that listens 2 her, or cares"?
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actually she hasnt done any of those things i dunno about the cheating though im actually buds with some of her friends>
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if she is lying it might be because shes scared of hurting my feelings
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I'm certain she doesn't want 2 hurt your feelings. .but that's prob not enough 2 stop her from doing it. Sometimes ppl just have problems they need 2 work out 4 themselves b4 they can commit 2 anyone else. U should just take a step back, and let her decide what 2 do. U can't change ppl brother man.
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im not trying to change her man at least i think im not how do you think im trying to change her?
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the only thing i want is for her to be herself
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She is herself, in a way. The whole, depressed and withdrawn thing she's doing is what she is atm. U want her 2 feel better, and good about things. She'll wind up resenting u 4 it.
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im just worried shes lying because her friends have always called her a bith and im starting to believve the things theyr saying
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They're trying 2 warn u!
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fun :) im just going to wait and see what happens
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Lol. A man after my own heart. Good luck.
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Dude:

This seems to be a rooted emotional issue.

Honestly you can open up yourself and maybe she will too.

Other than that you can just ask but don't push the issue.

Who knows what she went through?

Anyway all your can really do is "pray" and hope XD

-7's

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i have opened up she went through abandoment and stuff which is why i havent given up
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Then don't give up :P

Keep working with her :P

Because if you really love her then just stick by her!

^_^
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blah! you sound like such a goody goody to much disney movies eh? well actually its been like a year now shes tried breaking up with me before>
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Meh!

What am I supposed to say :)

How bout this:

YOU IDIOT DUMP HER 8D

-there ya go the idiot comment has been added



Anyway dunno what you want me to say!

And if she really wants to break up with you; you can't really stand in her way!

See ya dude :P
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hahahaha thx bud im not stoping her from breaking up with me Lmao ill hold the door open shes wont tell me she wants to thought> see ya bud>
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Have fun!
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well heres what you do, you need to sit her down and have a serious talk(just you and her). Find out whats wrong, then all you can do is try to figure out what you need to do. Then go and fix it befor you do loose her for good.

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ive tried so many times shes a closed book she dosent tell me anything
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You are only responsible for your own happiness and not the happiness of others. You say, "you can't make her happy." Well, honestly you will never be able to that will depend solely on her wishes to be whatever she wants ti be. Just be kind and be yourself always and the rest will fall into place naturally. If you are happy you will attract happy.

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i never said i wasnt happy just not with the relationship i want to make it better
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You make it sound as if you are trying to fix her. You can be there for her but you can't fix her.
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im not trying to change her at all just want her to be comftorble
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You should read what you wrote at the end of your own comments you say you dont know how to get her to put down her walls and how to make her happy.
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i meant i cant get her to trust me and the fact im not going to hurt her
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you sound like a sage perfect website for you
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Not a sage I was this girl before.
Before I found out that I am responsible for my own happiness and that I can't blame anyone but myself for how I feel. I have bad moments and mostly good days.
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yaya but ive been a real downer lately and thats probably pushed her away
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Sleep with her as soon as possible. Attraction has an expiry date. Also make sure you follow the law of least effort. Looks like your in the friend zone and she probably slept with someone else who bedded her quicker.

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ive tried before made her really leniant might have to do again >
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Advice from an old man who's been in this same situation (& has a degree in psychology): you can't have a normal relationship with a dysfunctional partner. That girl is dysfunctional. I'll bet there's more to her than depression & anxiety issues. Much more.
***
Me? I'd bail now. You can choose your own path. Good luck.

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ive waited for more than a year i cant bail now that would be just mean
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Really?
It'd be no worse than how she has been treating you.
Face it: you're getting nowhere with her. Consider bailing & moving on.
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i have but then i dont want to hurt her if she actually does care and i promised my self along time ago i would never ever hurt anyone intentionally no matter what they do to me
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