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What would you do if while doing laundry and making sure the pockets were emptied you found hard drugs in your son/daughter's pocket?

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tough one to answer honestly. Personally I would sit them down and show it to them. Making sure you spouse (or significant other) is also there. Most likely it will be a friends. Get an At home drug test. Most hard drugs stay in the system up to 3 days.

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Phlorence_602

Sit her down, and question her about it.

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You need to Sit down and have a long heart to heart talk with your child

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dustee

Call the police.

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You have a responsibility, if you find hard drugs (meth, cocaine, heroin, pills) anywhere near your kid, to do SOMETHING. Call your local police office (NOT 911), and ask them to recommend a good anti-drug program in your area.

p.s. Marijuana is not a hard drug.

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I have to agree with deathx's answer

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1 - call the cops to take it,
2 - remove the door to their room, and
3 - sell all their luxuries (cell phone, computer, games, etc).

Why #3? Well, if they have the money to buy drugs, they have money to pay for their own luxuries. If they aren't buying drugs, they should be smart enough not to "hold" for somebody else. If they aren't smart enough for that, they should spend more time learning and less time on luxuries.

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#1 is a waste of time.....all they'll do is flush it down a toilet. As for 2 & 3......yea.....agreed
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They may flush it but it will show the kid that the parents aren't afraid to call the police and I think we should add a #4, have them take a drug test either at the drs or I think you can actually buy kits at the drug store for that, it could disprove the holding it for someone else excuse
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Actually ... they can't flush it down the toilet because they have to incinerate it (Federal regulations)
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Walt, what? If a kid is troubled enough to have drugs I highly doubt they'll worry about federal regulations. They'd flush their stash, regardless. I do agree it would at least show the parents aren't afraid to call the police. In severe cases, I know the water in the toilet bowl can be tested for drugs. When the toilet is flushed there's always some of the dirty water that remains. Not a lot, but enough that has caused law enforcement to be able to test it for recently flushed drugs. In past cases, this has caused the prosecution to be able to win their case against the defendant. However... This answer has left one thing out---What about TALKING to your son/daughter? It seems like you'd be quick to punish but not to really get to the source of the problem. Speaking from experience, the child is probably in desperate need for HELP as opposed to punishment.
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And you really think the child is going to admit to it being his/hers? I know I never did. Although you are right about talking to the child, however as a teen ager I had no desire to talk to anyone about what I was going through and when eventually forced to see social worker I became even more unwilling to talk. Didn't think any adult would understand, and I still stand on the need for severe consequences. If there are none that child will continue to do whatever with the thought that it can and not have any consequences for their actions.
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hailissa ... I was saying the cops can't flush it ... in response to death saying #1 was a waste, because the cops would just flush it. > And since I would talk to my kids about drugs and sex before middle school, this would call for punishment.
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He/she didn't say the cops would flush it. I'm pretty sure they were referring to: calling the cops wouldn't work because the kid would flush it before they got there. I can't imagine anyone thinking the cops would flush it? Haha, what? Unless its a dirty cop, or a family friend.
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I never said consequences aren't deserved, they are entirely, but HELP is too. One of the keys is to recognize whether you've got a rebellious child on your hands or a young man or women with a problem. A teen is a lot more willing to talk to their parents if the parents do exactly that in return--talk. Not yell, not lecture... This is a real tough one. The fact that the issue is such a serious one makes it hard. They don't need to "admit" anything.. Anyone who is found with drugs on them and seriously believes they can get away with saying it's not theirs needs to think again...If it's in their possessions or otheir person, it's theirs.
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If I found it in my kids pocket I would talk to them but I wouldn't give it back so they wouldn't be able to flush it
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It is a serious matter and must talk tough to them, even warn them of police actions. It is a question of their life and their future. Take them to counsellor for help.

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Been there, done that with one of my kids. The first time, we had a long hard talk with him and explained the legal consequences as well as the wrath of dad (me) that was coming. Apparently, that didn't do any good. The second time, he left the house in cuffs. He has since straightened out, a night in the local jail scared the crap out of him.

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That's a good way to handle it I think...This is a very controversial one.. It's necessary to implement real world consequences but its also necessary to talk to your child and try to get to the source of the problem. A lot of times it's a cry for help, a desperate need for guidance. Too many people are quick to punish and not help.
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You're right. That's why we gave my son the parental talk and punishments the first time it happened. We also told him what the consequences would be if it happened again.
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easy, i would put the drugs back in the pocket and call the police, then i would place them in a drug rehab program, then when they got out give them freedoms and rights one at a time until you can trust them again
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realize this...if you find hard drugs on your kids, it is too late for the sit down talk-that is for pot.

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From experience, I don't agree with that. It's never too late to talk to them, it's never too late to try and help your loved ones. If the problem is deeper than it may appear, yes, rehab may be appropriate, but I can also tell you that any type of rehab isn't going to work for the individual if they're forced into it and/or given ultimatums. They have to be ready and willing, they have to make the choice themselves. This is why I asked though, to see what other solutions people may have out there, regardless of my opinion. Whether I agree with it or not, thank you for your feedback!
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what i meant by that is that action stronger than a chat is needed, not that they are hopeless. sorry for being too vague on that.
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Having been a kid who smoked pot, I would say confront them. And be above the situation.

Kid: You were snooping in my stuff!
You: Seriously? hiding it in your pockets? sounds to me like you're more mad that you weren't smarter... now tell me when you started. After that, we need to discuss whether you need professional hel p to stop.

Note that I smacked em with comedy first. That sets them back on their heals. They already have it figured out how they will respond to normal confrontation. But dont brush it under the rug. How far you want to take it is up to you. But dont let it slide.

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I agree with most of the answers, just remember that hard drugs are dangerous..something that will potentially kill your child. Make sure they take this as seriously as you do. If they don't take you seriously you need to scare them (jail maybe) or take something precious away from them until they can mature. Then try to get them involved in better people. Find out who they are hanging out with, and place them around good influences. Even if they hate it at first.

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This is a situation that needs to be handled very delicately. You have to be careful not to push them even harder into lashing out and making these potentially-deadly decisions. Of course it wouldn't be YOU forcing them into destructive behavior, but the pressure, ultimatums, and fear would... Sometimes guidance and help is more appropriate than punishment, and to a lost soul it's a very fine line between the two. Your attitudes and words could make a BIG difference.
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yeah.....I think you're right. I agree with you. I think maybe the punishment might cause them to want to hide more things from you and not feel lik they could trust you anymore.
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Go to them and start yelling smack the crap out of them and punish them for 2 months take everything away from them to them to rehab..

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I really hope that was just a sad attempt at being funny rather than a truthful answer. Yelling and hitting them won't do a damn thing but probably make them want to go get high again.
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Well we're I live is different probably from we're you come from so just sit down and talk to her/him and take them to rehab cause they could still be on it..
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I'm sorry, but I can't imagine that where you come from versus where I come from makes hitting them and yelling at them any more effective. If you're dealing with an addict, yes, rehab may be necessary, but if they're just an occasional user then it wouldn't be. Not inpatient rehab at least, maybe just outpatient counseling. And regardless if its a teen or grown adult, forcing them into it won't do a damn thing. They've got to be ready and willing before anyone can help them.
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....and what is "punishing them for two months" supposed to do? I can't see how that would deter anyone from doing anything.
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Then if you don't agree handle it yourself I don't even know why parents ask for help they should know what to do and rehab. would help her/him and rehab is the best thing just keep letting them do drugs.
then
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Having gone through this twice, I recommend getting your child into a drug rehab program as soon as possible. Do not expect them to tell you the truth, because they most likely won't. You may think you need to wait until it gets worse to do something, but believe me, it will only get worse and you don't want to go there. Take care.

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pop a urine screen on them....you will know exactly what they are on and they can't lie

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Great idea, I wish we had thought of that with our kids.
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