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What helps you to not care about what others think?

I hate to say this, but I care waaay too much about what others think of me. my dad, for example, is sometimes very critical of me, and I am the type of person that tends to take everything to heart. How can I stop this? I think I'd be so much happier if I learned to stop this! anyway, thanks in advance!

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The only thing that really helped me with this was when I was old enough and financially able to move out on my own. Then there I was, living on my own, and I slowly realized that I was free to make my own decisions , whether they be good or bad, and it was the weirdest feeling. However , I will admit that I STILL care what my dad thinks of me even at my age, however the PRESSURE I felt while still living under his roof is NOTHING like it was. Just believe when it's time for you to move out, this feeling will slowly go away I promise. However, I will be honest and tell you it won't go away forever but you'll have a DIFFERENT type of relationship with your dad, one where you'll be able to demand more respect . But it is really hard. My dad can still make me cry if I feel he says something cruel or mean about my life or children's lives, even though we are all good people, he still has condemning things to say. But not near as much as when I was under the same roof as him. Its really more your dad's problem than yours. Some people are just that way and you can never truly live up to their expectations no matter how hard you try.

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I did talk, or I guess cry, to my dad for more understanding in my twenties and it helped him see a little where I was coming from. Our Dad's sound a lot alike. Looking back, I don't think I would have graduate from the really hard private university I did if he had not demanded so much. Are you the oldest child ??? If so, that is probably why he is the way he is.
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Thank you! I want to move out this year, I'm so desperate too... I never got a chance to discuss it with my mom because she got the flu and since then things have been busy... But yea it's just really hard to deal with.
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graduated***
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I'm so sorry you've experienced the same thing, you're so kind.
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Yes, I'm the oldest. I'm attending community college right now, and it's only 30 min. From where I live, so I'm staying at home, but I think that should change soon!
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It would really help Shaylen for you to do that. And remember, this is natures way of getting the child AND the parent ready for this big change with you deciding to move. There sometimes has to be some tension there in order to make it happen sometimes.
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I agree. It's like I've always been an emotional one, due to my nature and my upbringing, but I think it's just been wearing at me more and more to where I am just getting overwhelmed and depressed.. I really hope it can be this year. Before the end of this semester even.
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Michael292

well, i don't think it's a problem to care too much, i think its good.

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How in the world is that good??
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Michael292
well i think its good, i have lots of friends because I care too much
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There is a difference between caring about people, and basing your worth on their negative opinions.
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Michael292
oh no..... i help fix the problem, i listen too much, i help ALL of my friends with fixing there problems, they come to me if they had a problem ......
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I don't think you understand the question...
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Michael292
I re read the question and I'm pretty sure I DO understand
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Your answer and comments show otherwise.
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The question was not about caring too much about people-it's about caring too much about what they THINK of you. Your comments and answer make NO sense.
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Have confidence

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If you find out let me know! But you have already made a big step and that is you acknowledge the fact that you need to change your mindset! That's half the battle right there. Now the other half is even though you know you need to change, will you in fact allow yourself to do it? Believe that you are better than the criticism! Know it! Hope this helps

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YOU my friend, give good advice!
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Ha I really don't! I leave that to you
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Now who's being stubborn? :P
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Who me? Ha I'm always stubborn but YOU do give great advice and YOU can change your mindset and it will make a world of difference. I know everything will work out! I mean your too stubborn to not make it work ha
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Haha. Well thanks :)
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No problem ha it's what I do
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if you know what the person is saying is not true it is not valid . It just takes practice like anything else .

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What?
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Oh my bad my I pod is acting weird .
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Thanks :)
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Don't be so hard on yourself shay(:
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Ok, ok I'll try!
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You seem like a really cool person you stood up for me when that one guy was being a jerk.
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I really can't imagine anyone being mean to you .
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What do people say to you anyways?
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Thanks:) and it was no problem, really. :) he was being rude to everyone... I just can't stand it when people do that... And aw thank you again! That means a lot.
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It's more so actions and words.... It's not things I like to talk about too much. It was less subtle when I was younger.
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Sorry to hear that . I think it's kind of cute that you are sensitive that just means you have a big Heart.
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Thank you :)
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You bet shay(: if you need someone to talk to I'm here.
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Thanks, Shane:) you know what? I think I'm going to follow you, just because you're so awesome!
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Thanks shay you made my day (:
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:) s
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Goodnight (:
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Believe that you are you and people make mistakes and have those moments but that life always gets better(: as my best friend quoted "life is like an arrow. When life pulls you back just remember its setting you up for something great" (:

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You're sweet. Thanks.
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No problem(:
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DLR84

Thats a great question Shaylen. I am not so bad as I was when I was younger. I think as you get older you learn to shrug off those who irritate you and you care less about others opinions. I have a bad temper from being that way, but im learning that others opinions do not matter, or shouldnt matter. You will always have people who enjoy hurting and bringing you down, my situation includes a lot of abuse and it stays with you emotionally, but you learn that all that counts is what you hold in your heart.
God loves me and in the end its all about you.

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Same here, D. Thanks.
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You need to harden up a little and learn to let things bounce off and roll right over your head ! Ignoring is easier said than done , but that's what you need to work on ! You need a new outlook on life ! Don't even listen to any negative crud and live above it ! You know better than what is said to you ! To me , that person becomes a non-person and I blank out all negative things that are said . Don't give anyone the pleasure of putting you down ! I know it's hard and I went through similar things with my Dad , but you can do it because you know he's wrong ! He's the one who is insecure ! Do your best to just ignore it and go away far enough to do something that you enjoy ! SMILE !!!!

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Morning, John! You're right; I need thicker skin. He's comment is starting to lesson on me a little bit I think. It's just so obnoxious, I can't tell him certain things without judgement or without him being patronizing.
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I think if I were you , I wouldn't tell him anything ! Sounds to me like HE'S the one that needs to see a shrink ! It'll be hard for a while , but the less you speak to him , the happier you'll be ! Such a shame ! He should be proud of you ! Ignore it as much as you can ! Hang in there till you get a chance to move ! Maybe his attitude will change then ! You're old enough to make your own decisions ! SMILE and ignore !
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Yea for sure. I think I need to just stay away from him and keep minimal contact from now on. It's frustrating, because whenever I tell him something he did upset me, he minimizes/trivializes me every time... "Don't make a mountain out of a grain of rice" or "you're over analyzing" stuff like that... Sometimes it makes me question my feelings, and people often tell me "you can tell me anything" or "I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to" and it's VERY hard for them to trust them, I've been basically trained to believe my feelings are stupid, and not to be trusted, and as the years have past, I realize that not everyone is as critical as my dad, but there is always this fear that they'll just find it stupid as well, if that makes sense. I probably do get upset over silly things sometimes, or over-react, I just don't like being told so. Sometimes I'm just touched by the sentiment, but don't trust myself. Haha like seriously I'm hoping I'm not being ridiculous by what I just said.
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Not in the least ! For me , going off to Vietnam , really helped me to become a man ! That's about the only good it did , but it helped ! Your feelings are not stupid at all ! It's what you feel ! He seems to know how to push the right buttons to upset you , although why , I can't understand ! I think he still sees you as a little girl that he can easily dominate ! But you're not now and keeping your distance is probably the best thing that you can do ! I can't believe that your Mom doesn't jump on him for it . But my Mom couldn't ever reason with my Dad either ! Stay strong and do your best to stay out of any conversation that triggers his ill feelings . My daughter was a little hellion when she was young but I never used mind warfare on her ! I learned from my Dad and never did any of those things to my kids ! They got yelled at and grounded fro stuff , but that's about it ! You do need to find someone that you can spill it all out to and get it out of you ! Keeping it all in just makes it worse ! Wish we lived closer because you could talk to us and my wife didn't have the greatest childhood either and she could really help you . Hang in there and pursue your hobbies and schoolwork and try your best to stay away from giving him an excuse to belittle you ! You can do it !
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Thanks, MrJohnWayne :) you're very helpful :) I think I'm starting to feel a bit better, I just need to be more patient with myself!
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I think you're right though!
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You'll get through this ! I've known you quite a while and I think your intelligence will win the day over ! Be strong and be patient ! Most of all SMILE , so no one will ever know that you're bothered !
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Haha ok xD. I think I'll be alright. It's just that my mom and sis were gone over the weekend, so more contact with my dad... Takes a while for me to recover sometimes. I need to work on being better about just turning the page.
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Being your own person
being true to yourself

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