When you find the right song for you, it should just happen after a few listens. It always helps me if it is through a speaker, because it is louder, and easier to hear all the intended components. It is something that you can't force, it just happens- if it is the right song that suits you.
It takes time. It has to be a song you like and can relate to. Listening to it and understanding every word can draw you in the the lyrics and the melody making you forget the world and fall deep into the abyss of your song, thus you getting lost into the music.