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How to get over my insecurities with my current boyfriend because of my past bad relationships?

I've been with my current bf 4yrs & I still can't seem to get over my jealous & insecure ways, because of my relationship before him. I was abused mentally, physically & emotionally, and was cheated on more than a dozen times. i finally had the courage to leave and now I have a good man & I'm afraid he's at his breaking point because I keep reliving the past in out present. please no dumb ass answers! thanks

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Jealousy is deeply rooted in our genetics. Jealous people were naturally selected since before our ancestors were human because the jealous and strong would dominate mating rights because of there jealousy rendering them incapable of sharing mates without experiencing discomfort. You are wired to be jealous. Knowing that, you will have to find a healthful way to cope with that fact. I'm no good at it either but I usually try to disassociate from that person. I know this seems counterintuitive, and in a primitive mating pool it is, but we live in a different kind of society now and you may do more damage than good with that jealousy.

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hang out with your friends it will make you feel better

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I don't have any female friends
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FunnyLittleFrog

Well, you already know he's different, so what can anyone tell you? There's obviously something wrong if you have been doing this for four years, and this guy has been taking it. Just be nice, be better.

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Try explaining to him why you're acting as you are because eventually he'll get fed up and leave you.

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The fact that you realize that your doing it is a good start toward changing, you could tell him that you recognize the problem, then together figure out a plan to stop the undesired behavior, you may need counseling, if you care for him you will try not to take it out on him, and if he cares for you he will try to be patient with you

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Talk to him, explain why you act that way, and ask him to help you by telling you when you're being unreasonable with your jealousy and insecurity. Then try to stop and not do it when he tells you that you're acting crazy.

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Talk to Him about everything. Be as wide open to him as you can be. And trust that he is the same way with you. You must convince yourself, but the Bible says: ''dont fear, because there s nothing kept that shall not be manifested, and nothing hidden that wont be known.'' If you trust God, everything will be okay. And if anything goes wrong, dont worry, it wont be as bad as last time. Fear makes pain look bigger, but its not. Dont worry, trust God. He will reveal wisdom to you. Gby

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my advice is talk to him and explain why you feel like you do. you went trough a trauma with your past relationship and they are very hard to over come. also sometimes it helps to see a therapist who can help you work trough the damage from the past so it won't affect you any longer.

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Look I've been here. This was my solution. I made a concious decision to stop, deal with it IF it ever happens, I was creating my fears into reality, that's even scarier. if nothing ever happens you've wasted so many years on stress & worry. Stop looking back & have some faith in your man. Just breathe & relax, enjoy your time you have together. You don't know how long you have together, treat each day as if its the last. Love intensely.

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