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Why can't I see Girls as people rather than possible future relationships?

I'm 18 (and a guy) and to this day, when I look at a girl (Pretty, ugly, short, tall, skinny, obese, etc.), all I see is someone who could potentially be my girlfriend or future relationship. I literally CANNOT think of females as "friends" or simply other individuals that live on Planet Earth with me. It's impossible, I have tried.
I know that what I want more than anything is to be able love a girl and also be loved by them, in turn, and I'm sure this is somewhat related to the answer for my question.
When I think of each sex, Guys would be only considered as friends and Girls would be only considered as future relationship candidates. I don't even think I want to be friends with a girl; I actually feel uncomfortable around them most of the time and nervous. It might be the same way I would never consider a guy as a possible sexual relationship candidate. I just know that even if I did want to be friends with a girl, I couldn't. Something in my head keeps the default option for women set as "Girlfriend?" rather than "Girlfriend / Friend Only?"

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I use to feel that way too but I grew out of it. I didn't like thinking that way about women so I took a break from getting involved in anything more than being friends with women. It was super nice not worrying about it and I got to know women as people too and I have tons of women friends now.

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kazarina
As you should have. Well done turning your sexist attitude to a healthier version. Women aren't a meat market congratulations on seeing them as good friends & good company for the sake of friendship.
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It also sounds like your a bit feminist, lol ;)
It's definitely not my or his fault that we see women the way we do, I can't explain it, but I'd bet it has something to do with the fact that 50% of all north american - teenage girls dress half-naked these days :) If guys wore leggins all the time would you have trouble seeing them as more than meat too?
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No, I use to think like you did where I only thought women could be potential mates and not friends. That sucks in that you don't want your girlfriend/wife to be your friend too since you can't have sex all the time. It's not going to last if you can't do other things with her that aren't sex and fun. But you're young and your hormones are doing most of the thinking for you. Hopefully you'll grow out of it.

And it's a little worrisome that if a girl shows skin, you think it's acceptable to see them as a piece of meat. Seriously, leave me out of that rape culture type of thinking.
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kazarina
Feminist there probably is a touch of that there. Lol but I think having a great mate in a bloke is by far more important than having a bloke. Just remember lovers partners etc can come & go but friends are your survival kit & they stand by you through thick & thin. I hope you find someone nice & she is what you want & need for a fulfilling life in all areas.
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i was going to say you're a guy, but that's not always the case anymore lol

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lol youre right, I just added that to the question, i guess that's sort of an important piece of information ;)
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how many girls have you been with? you could just have a high sex drive. i don't think it's that out of the ordinary. now if it's impossible to keep a girl as a friend because you're constantly trying to get down her pants...well that might be an issue
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kazarina
I think that's what he's saying. They have no value to him out of the sheets at this stage in his life.
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No, I've never had sex or done anything with girls, but since like grade 10 I've started to realize that I'm quite lonely and I really want a strong relationship with a girl. Obviously I want someone to have sex with, but that isn't the first thing by far. Women always seem to assume that weird guys like me only want into their pants and they never try to get to know me :(. I've had a total of 3 female relationships and all have "friend-zoned" me within the first 3 days. I want to love and be loved. Sex comes after a strong relationship has formed.
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Thing is though, after I get "friend-zoned", the girls completely disappear from my life and we don't stay friends, rather, we become people that knew each other once. I don't think its just my fault, because it's just not me who makes little to no effort to stay in contact and progress our friendship more. Even after we supposedly turn into just friends, it doesn't turn into something good, but actually into something awkward and untouchable. Even when I do make an effort to go out and do things with the girls, they always have other plans and appear to avoid contact with me. I don't even want to be just friends with girls, but when I make an effort to try it never works...
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you're probably coming across too strongly. although woman do like a devoted man, when you first meet one, the emphasis on wanting a deep relationship can't come across as needy or speedy or it can freak them out. taking things casually while still talking about how that kind of thing is important to you is key. in my opinion
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Hmmm, that definitely seems possible, I will take your advise for sure, thanks!
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no problem, but if it doesn't work i have no idea where you got the idea lol ;)
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kazarina
Best 4, I obviously did not realize your need for a deep caring relationship. This last couple of explanations you gave show your a caring male & that you have some depth & character which at your age is a valuable asset. I hope you find someone who wants your friendship long term so it grows into more so you have a happy life without feeling alone.
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By future relationship partners do you mean S E X. That's ingrained in hundreds of years of evolution. You're looking for a partner to put your DNA into and spawn offspring.

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yes, for sure!
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Dude, you're 18. That's what people your age do. Bang bang a bangity bang.
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Not me :(
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kazarina
Best 4, this comment you made above lead me to also believe it was a sexual need you had. Not the need to be in love so I do appologize for misunderstanding you.
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It's normal. I feel that way about guys(I'm a girl). I'm sure lots of other guys feel somewhat the same way. And plus, its not really a problem unless you're constantly pulling moves on girls all the time.

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kazarina
Lol it would be more of a problem to him if he's not putting the moves on them.
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kazarina

As you learn socialization skills instead of trying to sleep with every girl, you will want them around as good mates & a great support system. That's what friendship is. some males keep their brain in their pants lol have I hit the nail on the head. Excuse the pun.

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You know...I didn't once mention that I had sex in my mind in the question. That's not important to me. Why are you so feminist? Why do you think that every male wants a sex bag rather than a person to be with. Guys aren't all the same... Just like some women are slutty and don't give a damn who it's with, there are also women that would put everything into a relationship for their lover, I'm sure.
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You know...I didn't once mention that I had s e x in my mind in the question. That's not important to me. Why are you so feminist? Why do you think that every male wants a sex bag rather than a person to be with. Guys aren't all the same... Just like some women are sl utty and don't give a crap who it's with, there are also women that would put everything into a relationship for their lover, I'm sure.
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kazarina
I assumed when you said you didn't see men as relationships I assumed it was because you wouldn't sexually be interested in them but women you only saw as relationship material. So I appologize if I misunderstood your comments.
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