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What is the best way to get children to get along with one another and not fight on a constant basis?

I have 3 girls ages 4, 7, and 9 and 1 son age 8... The 4 and 7 year old are constantly fighting, and the 7, 8 and 9 year old all shun my 4 year old daughter. How do I get them to understand that they need to be nice to each other and to their baby sister?

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Make a simple consequence list and post it in the kitchen. Have your children help you create it. When they start to break a rule, give one warning, if they choose to do it again, follow through with the consequence. If you are consistent they will realize they cannot get away with misbehaving. Be tough.
Create a "do something nice" game by having the kids write something down on a piece of paper, then every night have them draw out a card from the hat and do something nice for the other.
And probably most important, aim for a date night with each one where you spend individual time, even if it's just a half hour.
And may I suggest you also take some quality time for yourself to rejuvenate, anything like a walk around the block, long shower etc.... You will have more patience. You have an important job :-)

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This is a very helpful idea! Thank you. I don't normally ask for advise about how to deal with my kidos, but I was at a complete loss as to what to do until I started getting answers from other parents. So thank you very much, you just gave me the perfect activity for tomorrow.
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Great! You have your hands full it looks like. I met a mom the other day who had three bright daughters ages 4, 3, and 18 months and she was pregnant with her fourth! They were all so busy it made my parenting job with three year old twins seem like a piece of cake, lol.
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Bribe with candy and or 1 dollar bills

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That doesn't work, they are past the 1 dollar bill stage, they go for the 20's now lol. I have literally tried everything and nothing works on them... I am so out of ideas. But hey thank you!
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FunnyLittleFrog

Do activities together as a family. And tell them it's not ok to be mean or shun a sibling. That can get out of hand...

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Yes they can and they have. It is so out of control that the little one has turned into a bully and will kick her older sibilings butts because they are mean and shun her. Even on family outtings they are mean to her. I don't know if it is because she is the baby or cuz there is more of an age difference then there is between the other kids. I have no idea, but I need to figure something out cuz the baby is getting to be too mean to everyone, except for me...
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As a older sibling I know they probly pick on her because she is younger and most kids think that the younger kids are spoiler ( but really they need attention because they can do as much
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I agree and she is a little more spoiled and she gets a little more attention then the other kids for the simple reason is she is the baby and she is my last child, and she is her daddies pride and joy and the other kids see that so I think it could be jealousy to a point also, but in the same token all my kids are spoiled in one way or the other...
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Kids only see what they don't have not what they do
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Isn't that the darn truth! I wish I had what they have at their age!
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This a hard one you should have them whenever the get in arguments have them put there noses together ( it really works my mom made me do it) and tell them if they have been good and not fighting they will get " to go some where they all like or get something " but they don't get it if they fight /argue

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I have tried grounding them from all things fun, playing with friends, watching t.v. eating sweets (they love sweet stuff). So I have recently tried the roman chair this is effective, but my husband does not agree with this. So I can't do this anymore, but he is the type that says "kids will be kids" so he does not like for me to disapline them... So this makes it really hard...
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Try the nose trick it does work when your mad because u start to laugh at them
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lol yeah I bet and they hate to be laughed at...
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Sorry they are at a difficult age. Kids absolutely LOVE to fight and argue at that age. They live for it. Perhaps you could come up with distracting games everyone could play like charades, cards, I spy. Keep the games simple to prevent arguing over the game. Maybe you could start dishing out punishments to those who argue the most like extra chores. I saw the comment about your husband not liking punishment. Come up with constructive punishments like doing extra math problems, cleaning toilets, doing extra credit homework.

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I like that idea. I have not thought of that one. Thank you. I am just lost. I know we faught a lot as kids but there were 13 of us... Lol and I can't ask for advise cuz my parents are both gone. So thank you.
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Be sure that you read my answer again I edited it. Good luck
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Great idea! Those should work. At least for a while. They are really going to think I am a mean mom, but they respect me so I am going to try whatever I can to make it so they respect each other as well. Thank you so much for your advise.
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Good it sounds like its time for you to get a little mean. Thanks for the feedback.
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Yep I think it is. Thanks again. You have been very helpful!
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a get along t shirt can go a long way. you get a big men's t shirt, just big enough for 2 kids to wear together and when they fight make them wear it.
Try putting the older kids in charge of specific tasks or make them responsible for helping with/teaching your 4 yr old individual activities.

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I take it as you have tried this? Do they face each other?
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I only have one but my cousins (4 kids each) use it. they're basically side by side in it and have to cooperate as one unit to accomplish anything
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I tried this on my kids and they absolutely hate it. I think I am going to keep this technique... Thank you very much for this idea, today was a much better and peaceful day thanks to the shirt!!!
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Start a reward system, for kindness, helpfulness, acceptance etc.

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