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Would you say love is a complicated emotion?

I'm writing an essay based on the conflict of "love verses control", and before I get into it, thought I'd use an intro describing the emotion of love. I personally don't think love is all that complicated, but then again, maybe it is. we have to write about a conflict from the movie "citizen Kane", and that's one that I might possibly pick. anyway, tangent. thoughts? (might change my topic-but kinda like this one...) edit:please add reasons for your yes/no :) thanks!

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Well, a description of love can be found in the Bible: 1 corinthians 13:4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never ends.

But there s the emotion, that is anything that feels like love, but isnt. Emotions make you take bad choices, feelings are actually choices. Hope this helped. Gby

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Yes.

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DolceMonserrat7

Yep...

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Yes sadly love is very complicated.

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Yes, it is. It can be very complicated as it is hard for some to know when the feeling they are feeling is truly "Love". Love can easily be confused with Lust, Like, and even occasionally Hate.

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That's what I was thinking, too. So many young teens ask "am I in love?" Or are convinced they are in love, when in fact, it's just infatuation.
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The way I think of it. If you have to ask if your are in love, you aren't.
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I agree whole heartedly.
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Yes..

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Ya

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yes, but there is a lot of other prospectives on the topic of love, you have to decide which one you believe in ;)

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Yup

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Definitely. If you love someone you want to do what is best for them, and sometimes that is not what is best for you. So you are forced to chose between love of self and the love of another. It doesn't get more complicated than that.

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That's true! Thanks for adding details :) I don't want to just put things in my essay without ideas.
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Gator, think I get the gist of what you are saying; could you give an example?
And no, not writing a paper:-). Just thinking about what you said and wondering at the context from your point of view.
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No. It's an addiction.

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? Care to explain?
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Sure. Everyone else was saying yes and I wanted to be different since I "love" playing devil's advocate.

Science has shown the physiological effects of being in love where phenethylamine, dopamine, and oxytocin are released and person in love feels good. Then when the object of love goes away, the body no longer produces these neurotransmitters and hormones and the person doesn't feel as good. To regain that feeling, the person has to find another person to love.

It's analogous to an adrenaline junkie looking for that next rush/high from being in a dangerous situation. Or work out junkies looking forward to the next endorphin release.
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Interesting perspective to pick up on..
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bubalo, did you see/check out the link Dodgy added in his answer? Speaks of same thing you said in more detail, interesting:-).
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Shouldn't you be sleeping? =]

Yeah, I remember hearing something about that when the research came about. I think it's a interesting take on love and attachment and the evolutionary need for it in mammals (since mammals are born underdeveloped and need some care after birth).
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Yep, should be... Did for a bit then Hubby's alarm woke me ( wakes around3-4am),and Dogs barking++++. Got caught up watching the "nightmare" ship FINALLY docking in Bama etc...
Shouldn't you??? Be sleeping that is...lol.

As to the Love quandary...remember going with my college advisor to observe research being done on Children who had little or no physical or emotional Love experiences by age 2. Oof, extremely hard to watch little 2 year olds with no comprehension whatsoever of what caring touch and love means and no observable reaction or desire to reach out for it. Subsequent research has shown that most of these children even though so young, never truly learn to bond intrinsically, some do manage to "learn" the behavior while others remain forever shut down, and have a very hard time developing meaningful relationships of any kind! So Sad!! And then came the 5 year olds.... A week of this and I decided against getting a Masters in Early Child Development and Deviant Behavior
Recognized that wouldn't be able to deal with it on a daily basis..
Did start volunteering at the hospital, holding& interacting with "crack-babies" who had been abandoned after birth. This was in the early 80's when it was a common occurrence. The babies who are held and treated this way manage to go through horrible withdrawals , survive and "learn" to bond and do quite well when placed in a loving family.:-). So yeah, early lessons in love.....
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Reminds me of The Mountain People by Micheal Turnbull. Not sure if you read it but it's about a tribe that became very individualistic to survive.
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@bub-that's really interesting! Thanks for sharing.
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@bubalo, had not read it, remember it as being considered flawed in methodology and a host of other reasons it was not considered "text-worthy" in College.?? Googled it and read some of it and some of the comments/reviews etc. and can see why they may have felt that way, his over involvement with the iK people and some of the later follow-ups cast doubts on the veracity of his observations and conclusions . Who really knows though, a lot of time has passed and things are not necessarily as they were at the time.
Think Clifford Geertz, described the problems inherent in Interpretive Anthropology quite well:
"Believing , with Max Weber, that man is an animal suspended in webs of significance he himself has spun,
I take culture to be those Webs, and the analysis of it to be therefore not an
Experimental Science in search of Law but an interpretive one in search of meaning"
Think I may be getting waay of subject here, maybe did need some more of that sleep? Lol.
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Yeah, I've read some of the critiques but I think it's also interesting as to whether a society could function without altruism and relying on love and human contact. But yeah, I think we might be have gotten off track. =]
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Did read his book about the pygmies "The Forest People" quite some time ago and somehow it almost seems as if the two books were by two completely diff people...
Regardless, I see where you find similarities in the two situations.
Yet not totally..., those children while possibly being "tossed aside" were not total infants who's ONLY Physical touch may have been a quick brusque wipe off for cleaning, feeding was often not even Hand delivered and definitely never while being held in ANY way , they just almost never even were touched!
Amazing to think thats possible isn't it? There was a Documentary on a while back on some of the Former Soviet Republics were children were lined up in cribs in rooms with no color, no stimuli, bottle feeding was done by tying the bottles to the side of cribs, diapers(such as they were) changed once a day(?) as if they were just parts in an assembly line,and it showed the absolute Blank-Non-reactive faces of these toddlers! These are the babies and Children I refer to in my story..
The children of the iK at least were touched and had interactions even if they may have been negative ones! They were able to create bonds of a sort with others, may have been harsh and negative ones but bonds nonetheless...
So how does that bring us to love vs. Control, and ?? emotions?? Huh , gonna have to take a break and re-group and think that through.. Oof, smell those Brain Synopses overheating?? Lol.
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@shaylen, if your reading all this.. Your probably just about thinking of changing the subject matter I bet! Lol..
Seriously; how is it panning out?
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@bubalo, was sooo busy going on and on I missed your interim comment.
Sry:-(. Think my Brain switching to Dutch( my other first language) as it often does when I get really tired and slows thinking typing in Pure English. At home or with friends we could just mix the two or three using whichever word came up, much easier.. But would be gobly-gook on here!ha,ha.. Maybe have been doing that??lol break-Time!
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@witt-haven't started yet, lol. waiting for the car so I can run an errend first. My english teacher two semesters ago, gave us a lot of details and at least two weeks to write a paper, this one gives us barely a week with little information -_- Your comments help a lot though! Got some of my juices flowing :)
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Glad to hear that, you obviously got our "where-what-why-how" going! Thank you for a great question, exchanges like these remind me what I like so much about Ask.:-).
That is a fairly short time for a paper, how long and involved/formal does he expect it to be ?
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You got me! I just know I can't use phrases such as "we" or "you" "all" or "always". And all arguments have to be backed up with logic.
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Yes, definitely. There are many different forms of love (ex: Romantic love versus love for a family member or friend) and then there's the reasons why you love someone (ex: some people will never understand what one person sees in another person, they'll think "why on earth did she go for a guy like that??" because love is so dang complicated). If love were so easy, there wouldn't be so many sit-com episodes of one character saying the "L" word too soon, or so many questions about it asked on this site!

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Good point Ana! "Do I love him/her?" I see that question on here frequently. Or "what is love?" Lol, who said ask wasn't "educational?" :P
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Hah exactly, I see all the time "How do I know if I'm in love?" Uh IDK, figure it out like the rest of us have to, or had to! You think people a hundred years ago had Ask.com to see if they were in love?? No, but they still managed lol people are so dependent these days XP
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Lol seriously! My favorite is, "does he like me?" Or "how do I ask him/her out?" Are people really on the Internet so much, that they've forgotten how to read basic social queues?
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Ikr, I feel like I'm just enabling a lot of people lol x)
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Haha xD I usually don't answer those... But boy are they tempting sometimes!
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No, I think hate is complicated, love is a great and wonderful emotion

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I don't dispute that, but can't wonderful things be complicated as well? Or it can be complicated, simply because humans are so imperfect.
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We can complicate anything I guess, people are complicated
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Since this is for an essay you might be interested in a different approach. This is from an article published in yesterday's Sydney Morning Herald.

"New studies show love is in the mind - a complex emotion triggered by 12 specific areas of the brain."

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/love--lust-its-a-chemical-romance-20130213-2edgd.html#ixzz2KwTmPzrR

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Thanks Dodgy! I always like a hook before getting into the topic, that's why I'm trying to define love first. One of the topics we could pick is "love vs.control." Not entirely sure what the teacher meant by that one, but it's sticking with me.
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I'm not sure either. Makes me wonder just what you teacher meant by "love" xD
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Aha. Well, in the movie "citizen Kane" there is a man (Charles foster Kane) who marries this woman, but is very controlling of her. I wish the teacher went into more detail... Another topic we could pick is "does power corrupt?" My other teacher went into soo much more detail before giving us about a week to write a paper -_-
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I know I saw Citizen Kane when it was first released (back in the 1940s or 50s, I think) but I don't remember it. I think maybe Orson Wells played the lead but I'm not even sure about that.
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Yea, he directed and played it :). I've been asking if people have seen it, but no one else I know has! Glad to know someone else has seen it. I just wished the teacher went into more details so I at least had a slight idea of what I'm suppose to turn in wed. Does he want to know if love and control can co-exist? A solution to some problem? Idk -_- ugh. Lol.
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Control freaks often use emotional blackmail to subdue their partners.
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That's very true! And a good point. Hmmm.... You want to write my paper for me? Lol, jk :P
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I've actually considered writing about love. It's a topic I know something about. But I'd hate to try to define it. If I can quote Oscar Hammerstein, "Fools can explain it, wise men never try."
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I'm smiling. I like this quote, WiseMan. :)
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It's a line from Some Enchanted Evening (from South Pacific)
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Argh I commented, and then it said I had a 30 minute waiting period... Anyway, I agree, love can't really be described. I just always like to have "hooks" to my essays, kinda funnel into the main point, instead of diving straight in. (I always feel weird diving in right away.) I just think, if love is such a complicated emotion, there must be a lot if complicated factors we being in, such as money, disagreements, or, control. But I don't think control is love, anyway.
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@shaylen, could your teacher be referring to the way some people mistake that control for caring/love, as in "he cares so much for me (mis-interpret. of control) , he must love me"? Happens often enough. Just look at the amount of people who get into a relationship with an extremely controlling person, mis-take it for love and stay through all sorts of mental and physical abuse ( both forms of control) while making the excuse: "but he/she loves me".
And, they actually truly believe that...
Nowhere does what you've said as to your teachers words and considering the movie indicate this "love" has to be what we consider a healthy/sane form.
Yep, saw the movie a few times but been a while.
Hope to have given you another perspective to consider, sounds like an interesting, and ..yes difficult paper! Good luck!:-).
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@witt-your comment just gave me an "aha" moment! That's a great point and maybe that is/was the point that was being made! Thanks for your comment, that was actually a HUGE help!
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Oh yes, forgot; the "controller" also believes, however falsely, that by acting in a controlling manner, he/she is doing what is best for the other out of "love".

Am getting really woozy, late/early once again...Thanks for the link Dodgy, hmmmm, to think we can thank Voles for the info that led to finding the "bonding" hormone... Ha! Reinforces the notion that "love is blind" aye?lol.
Thanks to both of you for another interesting topic and a reminder of what I like about Ask. Besides my favorite man of words and humour...:-). , good night Dodgy.
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@witt-that is true too! I think that was displayed in the movie a bit as well, too.
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Witt, would you like to write my essay? ;) jk jk!
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Your welcome shaylen, hope it pans out, meanwhile I'm off to bed.
a Goodnite to you also.:-).
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Nightie night! Thanks both of you! I'll look up the website tomorrow!
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@witt-I found a paper with guidlines as to how to write it, and your points helped! Thanks! *phew*
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Great shaylen, now at least have clues you were hoping for!..? Hope the writing goes well, let me know if can help in any way.:-).
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@Dodgy, showed hubby the article and he said almost exact thing I did about the Vole! Lol.
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@witt-will do for sure! Thanks so much!
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You are welcome!:-).
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oh yea

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Care to expound as to why?
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sure : whenever you are dealing with emotions that involve someone else you are no longer dealing with just your own thing so making decisions about what to do becomes complicated you have to take in consideration their feelings which can change by what you do or don't do and the variables are many
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Great point!
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yes

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love is love. you cannot really understand it in words. sure one can say he/she loves you but really that he/she can not mean it right? if i love someone or something, including my family and my pets, only i know i love them cuz im the only one who can feel that complicated feeling, called love :)

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It's the most complicated emotion I've ever felt, that's for sure.

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Omg yes!

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Love is not an emotion. Love is an act. We choose to love.
Lust is an emotion.

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Yes, love should make you do things, but it's based on a lot of emotions, and that's how it starts.
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An emotion isn't necessarily bad, btw. There are good and bad emotions.
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I agree. You don't marry someone without a commitment to stay with them forever. The honeymoon or 'lust' part of a relationship don't last forever. From there, you make a decision to love them.. Sometimes when you don't want to.
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