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Tommydz

How do you reinvent yourself

I recently lost my wife to cancer and instead of being stuck in misery she wanted me to try and move on and try to be happy .I was thinking reinvention

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Slow down, Tommy. I can see you heading for danger. I'm glad your wife wanted you to move on, but you said she died recently. They tell you not to make any big decisions for a year. I have to tell you that it might make sense to you to make the changes now, but when you look back in another 6 months, there's a very good chance you'll feel foolish. For the first year or so, you may THINK you're thinking straight, but odds are you're not. You've been thru trauma, and everything in your brain has been shaken up.

I think you're trying to not feel any of the lousy feelings (grief) that you have. No way to get around it. You'd just be putting off those feeling and they'll turn into depression or affect those you're around and it'll all blow up... Feel them, Tommy. It's okay to grieve. It's good. (In some way, I found it kind of honored my husband.) Then, after a couple months, you can start making wise decisions - even reinvention - with a clearer head.

Anyway, those are my thoughts about it... You do what's right for you, just be careful...

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Great answer!
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You need to be you on top of everything. Dont try to be someone fake. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your wife and it is nice that she felt that way... However, reinventing yourself means you still need to be YOU underneath.

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I am sorry for your loss. Just figure out what brings you joy and follow that.

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Get help by seeking God. Read the Bible, and set yourself to new morals. Pray, and get baptized, allow The Lord into your life.

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so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a strong amazing woman. try looking at tinybuddah.com I found this site both helpful and inspiring.God Bless you

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Tommydz
Oh Ok thank you
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I lost a family friend last month to cancer too, I can tell you this. It will be hard, but death happens, you can't stop it or replay it. I like listening to "In the end" by black veil brides. If you don't like the type of music it is then just read the lyrics. I found my answer with that. Music can be very powerful and help. Move on, but don't forget. “Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.” - Kay Knudsen. Memories last a life time keep them alive and you won't have to worry about reinventing yourself.

Song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnfKdCN2oOc

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I'm so sorry for your loss.here is some comforting words."And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." revelation 21:4. and she is going to get resurrected. - "Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice." -john 5:28 and job 14:15 I'll quote it "You will call, and I myself shall answer you.For the work of your hands you will have a yearning." Jehovah actually yearns to bring the dead back to life!! and when she is back to life she going to wake up in a BEAUTIFUL PARADISE and you and your wife well be PERFECT, and be YOUNG AGAIN!! JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH JOY YOU AND YOUR WIFE WELL HAVE!!! So you WELL see you wife again.... And listen to her and have joy in life your life and move on.... Hope this helps you...


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What a WONDERFUL hope we have!
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I'm so sorry for your loss. The Bible promises as resurrect of our loved one. At Acts 24:15 it says, “and I have hope toward God, which hope these men themselves also entertain, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.” Just think, you can see her, hold her, hear her laugh again.

However, what about right now? When I'm sad and just need comfort, my favorite scripture to turn to is Psalm 34:18 which says, “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” He knows how difficult this is for you, He lost his only-begotten son, Jesus Christ. However, he resurrected Jesus and he can do the same for your wife. I hope this helps, and again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

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this is the best comment...
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Tommydz
Ok that is great advice ,after seeing my wife suffer so much it was so hard to keep my Faith and I just couldn't Pray any more but The Lord has been in my life even when I was a kid cuz my Mom was a serious Prayer warrior so I will try and trust in him again thanx
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That's great. Jehovah well hear your prayers :D have faith.
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At James 5:16, we are encouraged to "pray for one another". I'll keep you in my prayers. I know you're not much of a prayer, but at 1 John 5:14, it says "And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that, no matter what it is that we ask according to his will, he hears us." I know it must be difficult for you to pray right now, and but please keep in mine that if we draw close to God, he will draw close to us (James 4:8). I hope this helps you.
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Tommydz - When my son was killed, I, too, found it difficult to trust the Lord. I remember reading PS.91, and it saying , no harm will come to you, and I put the book down and said What a Lie. That couldn't be true. Kill my son, kill me. That is harm to me... I was kinda aloof for 8 months, but I did keep going to church, just didn't "feel" much of anything about it. THEN after 8 months of feeling really lousy, I told Him I did not like being like this and I CHOSE TO FOLLOW HIM, regardless of what happens. I could feel His love suddenly surround me, and hold me. And He continued with that until I was somewhat stronger again. It was a CHOICE I made, because the consequences were just unbearable for me.
Hang in there, Tommy. As you can see, many people on here are on your side, too, and care about you, and will even pray for you. You are not alone.

And remember...
You are loved.
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Take it one day at a time.

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