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My boyfriend has 5 small children, and mine are fully grown. We love each other but I can not wrap my head around starting all over, help?

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Cut your ties now. His children come first. Unless you're willing to give them 100 percent, there's no point in prolonging the relationship.

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Yea but is she raising them ?
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I'm assuming he would have at least partial custody. I'm also assuming that she wants to be with him a lot because she "loves" him. So, ya know what they say about assuming...
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Yes I do, it's the 1st rule of law, to assume you lose...
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Easy... Move on. If that is something you cant handle you need to step aside. Be honest with HIM and YOURSELF. Raising kids is hard work if done right... Heck... Its hard even if you arent any good at it. If moving on is out of the question then just "date" him until the his kids are grown.

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Good Advice! Thanks
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Good luck
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Sorry to say but you can only make this decision. We (ask.com) can't live your life.

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Advice from all walks of life however can be quite helpful.
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Talk to your boyfriend about it. If you really love each other, he can help you make such a drastic change like this seem more comfortable. But if you still aren't alright with the situation, you might want to think about keeping a more casual relationship with him.

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Hmmmm I hope u didn't meet and get involved with his kids and now question if u want to be around. u should have known he had kids. if u wanted to go in a relationship with someone with kids. u need to grow up and know something before involving a bunch of innocent people. my husband is a lot younger than m, has two small children, and my kids are grown. I love his kids like my own and they adore me. I get Mad at my hubby at times but we make things work cos we have too much invested. and he knows if he Messes up ill kick his ass

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Talk it over with him and tell him your concerns. Take it one day at a time... you don't have to make an immediate decision to cut ties or stay forever! Unless you absolutely can't get along with the children, I'd let the relationship just develop.

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FunnyLittleFrog
Nice answer and not judgemental. People are telling her to dump him, but it's not so easy when you aren't in your 20's and (for him) when you have 5 little ones...
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No kidding. Relationships are way more complicated than they're making it out to be. And confusion doesn't mean that the relationship is ruined.
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Just too many unknowns. Do you work? How "little" are they? Ages? Boys? Girls? Where is their mom? Does dad have full custody? Would they be with Dad ( you ) full time? How well do you know the kids? It's a lot to consider! If you're looking for romantic time alone with a new hubby it isn't going to happen. Who takes care of the kids while you and your bf are dating?
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Thank you all of you, there is so much more to the story your right. I love the kids, 1 girl, 4 boys, 4 adopted one his own ages 5-12. Mine are in their 20's. The mother is remarried. and has a 6th. I get along with all of them. I work at home. He has 50% custody.
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A lot could be said here, if you k we he had small kids then why get serious if you knew that didn't interest you. My opinion is if you love that person then everything else will all come in stride, if you're allowing a major part of his life to drive a wedge between you then it seems youre not as in love as you thought.

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My brother married again, he 'commented once, "they're your children you do something about them". ie, kids go with their parents....

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FunnyLittleFrog

Just talk to him Maybe you can work something out. 5 children is a lot and there aren't many women who want that. He won't be so fast to dump you if you voice your concerns, especially since you are both past your first youth I guess and that makes it harder to meet someone.

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Your not a bad person if you decide you cant do this... Wow 5 kids thats a lot of responsibility ... What ever choice you make is going to be the right one good luck = )

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Thank you!
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This sounds like a deal-breaker for you. If you can't accept his children 100pct don't stay in the relationship.
You have to follow your heart on this.

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If you really love him, you should find a way on how you you can love his children because his children are a huge part of him and you as a mother should know that. So love him for him and for his children just like how you'd want him to love you for you and for your children.

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thank you, I do love his children, which is part of the problem.
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oh man, that would do my head in.
if you're not committed to stepping up, then leave, before the kids become attached to you.

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Trust your intuition. This happened to my mom's friend. He is 71, his wife was 45 when she died of meningitis & now he has 3 small children to raise!

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I feel like if you knew he had five kids when you guys first started dating you should stick around especially if those kids likes you. Because if you decide not to be with him you not only walking out of his life but his kids life also.

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