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lvask: 3 months ago | Last edited at 2:01AM on 2/18/2013

My neighbor steals food at our parties! What should I do?

Friends & family watch her take plate after plate of food to her house throughout the course of our parties! It's so embarrassing! This last weekend was the last straw! My single mom daughter threw a huge bday party for the kids and bought mostly everything by herself (the first time she's been able to) and people actually counted over twelve plates of mostly meat & cake leave our house! I was mortified! What do we do? My daughter says never invite her again! But she lives next door!

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Answer 1

stuffandjunk: 3 months ago

My Aunt and Uncle have a similar situation. They found out the old woman taking food from their parties was living off a $200 /month pension after working more than 40 years for Hostess. Now they package up all the food at the end of the night and send her home with it. She really needs it. Perhaps if your neighbour really needs it too, you could consider it charity.

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144iamme: 3 months ago

Excellent point!

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truckerlady: 3 months ago via iPhone

I see your point, but it was clearly stated that the daughter that paid for everything was, "finally able to pay for everything herself". Safe to say that this isn't a rich lady and she undoubtedly worked really hard to do this. Taking advantage of this is really rude.

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lvask: 3 months ago

Yes...we pay 75% of every party...she was so proud to be able to do this one almost all by herself and she did go all out.

I think this neighbor is just lazy and rude! They always eat out, she rarley cooks at home, they have $ cuz she is always bragging! I am so conflicted but never in a million years would fight over food...but at the same time I HATE being taken advantage of, not to mention hearing my family & friends comments & jokes after she left! Uhhhhhg

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Answer 2

SherryA: 3 months ago

Wow, I never knew people did that. I agree with your daughter, stop inviting her and if she asks why tell her she hasn't paid her tab for the catering services you have been providing!

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144iamme: 3 months ago

Wouldn't it be better to talk directly about the situation and ask her reason? Perhaps say I'm willing to share but I am also on a tight budget or it wouldn't be so bad if you helped clean up or set up?
I am part of a social group and one of our members did the same thing. When I was president I brought it to her attention that we all saw what she was doing. She was informed we wouldn't be so resentful if she participated in set up and clean up. Some days she is good some days she is bad.

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truckerlady: 3 months ago via iPhone

I'm with Sherry on this. If it were an occasional thing, I might view it different. It was clearly stated that this was the first time the daughter had been able to afford all this by herself...even if the neighbor has it rough, she should respect others who are or have been in right spots. Plus...she isn't even asking. That's just not right.

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lvask: 3 months ago

Yeah....family said she would sneak plates out throughout party....wierd. one or two would be fine...but twelve times!?

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Answer 3

NYudeszzz: 3 months ago

You need to let her know that you are aware of what she does during party times and that she should stop. This should sound as a warning and also tell her that the next time she will try it she will be punished. If she does it because of lack of food, she should explain and ask for forgiveness.

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kvenkatachalam: 3 months ago

correctly said

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integer: 3 months ago

Anyone who does this out of need would be humiliated by being confronted. There must be a better way

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kvenkatachalam: 3 months ago

pl read the question -it is not out of need-here the culprit was taking plates after plates of food-

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lvask: 3 months ago

Yeah, it was major over kill from what I was told by family...I saw a few of the times she left...but thought it was just that...a few!

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Answer 4

Your_Little_Helper: 3 months ago

Walk over to your neighbors house and give em a peice of your mind... Not inviting her would also get the point through...

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rghurst: 3 months ago

A very Christian response!!

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lvask: 3 months ago

I wouldn't even need to walk over! She was at our house early the next morning being nosey....I just told her we were all tired and going to sleep in....she left.

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Your_Little_Helper: 3 months ago

Excuse me rg...

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Answer 5

BelloShort: 3 months ago via Android

Charge admission for a wrist band. Wrist band= access to party/food.

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Answer 6

LaurieLaurie: 3 months ago

I agree with the first post. Who knows what situation she is really in. If you feel the need to say something, I would take her to a place where people cant hear and see, And mention to her that you are aware with what she is doing, then ask if there is anything you can do that will make her life better. This world has turned into such selfish people. "what happened to doing for others. I still live my life this way. It always come back in good ways. (not that it's the reason I do it.) But by asking her and telling her you are aware, she will probibly open up and tell you what has been going on. Obviously something is. I don't think someone would do that if it wasnt needed. Remember be kind, and ask yourself who is it really hurting??

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truckerlady: 3 months ago via iPhone

What about the daughter who paid for everything herself...and it was the first time she had been able to! Obviously she has been in tough times. So just because she can finally afford something in no way means someone else has a right to take advantage of it.

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lvask: 3 months ago

Agree^^^ OH THEN...I stashed my Pellagrino (water) in the fridge and she raided my fridge, found it and came outside to ask if she could have one....normally not q problem....but this was a kids party, little kids see flashy green bottles of water they'd all want one....I didn't have 30! Uhhhhhg.....idk this is crazy

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LaurieLaurie: 3 months ago

to truckerlady, That was just my opinion. just trying to give ivask a different outlook. I feel so many people in todays world are to caught up in whats theres. Nobody knows why she does what she does. I never said it was right. And yes, to the young mother she also has the right to not be taken advantage of. However, the neighbor was invited. What happened to taking care of your guest?

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LaurieLaurie: 3 months ago

And Ivask, I would just probibly not invite her anymore. she obviously has not moral boundries. I do feel bad for the young lady giving the party. But some people think if there invited they should have the run of the mill. Then if she asks you why she was'nt invited, take her to a place with nobody is around and tell her what bothers you. Nobody says you have to invite your neighbor to your get togethers. Ya know? However, I really like that you do. It's kindness dispite, and not very many people do that anymore. Hope you figure this out.

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Answer 7

Sea_Trish: 3 months ago via iPhone

What a strange neighbor. Is it possible she's financially challenged and can't afford food?
Also sounds like she might be suffering with hoarder syndrome.
Equally possible she's a rude, selfish, woman who takes what she wants and since she's been doing this with no consequences to date she sees you as an easy mark.
But regardless of the cause she needs to be stopped by whatever means is best for you. Consider talking to her before the next party, don't want drama with an audience.

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truckerlady: 3 months ago via iPhone

Great answer!

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lvask: 3 months ago

Yes...I might have to just do that...plus don't want to have bad blood with anyone, regardless of how wierd they are.

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Sea_Trish: 3 months ago via iPhone

Thanks truckerlady, I get nostalgic seeing your (?) rig, drove cross country when I was younger, some of my best ever memories.
Ivask, your kindness is contagious, she's lucky to have you as a neighbor.

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Answer 8

akhoopai: 3 months ago via Android

Sad, something is wrong. Your neighbor is having trouble. Is it financial or mental? Either way, help is needed.

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lvask: 3 months ago

I'm really leaning towards mental...seriously.

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Answer 9