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When a guy is married, should he be more loyal to his wife or mother? Just wondering what y'all think...

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If my husband was more loyal to his mommy, he could take a walk and go back to her so she can wash his underwear.

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Equal loyalty.

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Wife of course, but not ignore his mother.

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Really depends on the situation.

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His wife, he's a grown man now, not a mama's boy.

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When a man takes a sacred vow to his wife .. He should keep his promise however .. He should also honor his mother. If there was ever a tug of war between the two .. He will have to weigh the circumstances and figure out what the "right" thing to do is. Choose a side because it is right and just ... And for no other reason.

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If he chooses momma then he should pack his bags immediately. That will irrevolkable damage his marriage.
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Depends on what the issue is about.
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If you have to ask this question then you shouldn't be married.

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If you are married you will know the answer :)

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Wife, always.

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Wife. She is your new mother

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lol!!!!
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Good one star
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my husband says "wife! you got to cut the umbilical cord some time!" :)

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Depends on the situation. If your mom has a problem with your wife be loyal to your wife. If your wife has a problem with your mom be more loyal to your mom.

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A prediction: when you marry, you will have many troubles. ;)
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A prediction: Texasdogmom is right! :)
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The answer is even in the Bible. To paraphrase: when a boy becomes a man, he will leave his mother and cleave unto his wife.

Cleave: 1. to adhere closely; stick; cling to 2. to remain faithful

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Texas, you rock as usual !!
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Thanks, Kookie!
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I agree .. to a point...but there are exceptions.

I still believe it all depends on what the issue is about. There is such a thing as a 'bad' wife and mother. Should a husband stand by his wife even if he desperately disagrees with how she wants to raise their child (for instance)? For an extreme example: What if HE is the voice of reason and fairness, traits he learned from his mother .. and his wife, SHE is .. well .. Not so much?

In a perfect world a man and wife, should be on a level playing field and in harmony about how they raise their children and the code of ethics they live their lives by. The sad thing is..not all couples share that.
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What I am saying is not so much about 'loyalty' but more about what is right, fair and just.

I am 'loyal' to my husband .. but, I also can think for myself. I don't blindly agree to just agree. I form my own opinion.

I am grateful to be with a man who is a good man, a good father, and I respect his way of thinking ( well most of the time, anyway) .. there are times when I disagree, and we are able to work it out.
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In answer to your first point about a serious disagreement about how to raise their children, my first thought is that when that happens (and it happens a LOT), no matter how far apart they are, there is still no room for mother.
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I know we are getting into 'splitting hairs' but ... my question is this: what if mother agrees with HIS side of how things should be done .. would it not appear HE is taking HER side ,,, and not the wife's side? Some mothers are quite vocal in how their grand children are treated and raised.

That's my point .. I believe both should do what is 'right' .. Personally, I don't follow blindly .. I am not much of a follower if I don't feel right about it...but that's just me. It's not about what ANYONE else thinks. Although, I totally agree something like this is an issue that should be worked out between husband and wife .. without a mother'in'law's interference. .. but again, what if .. He chooses what 'appears' to be his mother's side in an argument about a child rearing issue, because he feels it's right .. not because he's choosing sides?
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That, I suppose, would leave it up to the wife to know her husband well enough to know that he honestly feels that he's right about the issue and not just taking his mother's side.

I am not a follower, either. I won't do anything that I believe is wrong, and I don't care who wants me to. It's my belief that people today do things in the wrong order, and the things they do have major consequences, and it's usually the children who pay the price.

There is a reason that people used to: 1. Date for a long time (I believe that it should be a minimum of three years) with or without sex, and if they were sexually active, the woman was intelligent enough to use birth control; 2. Get engaged, and take at least another year to plan the wedding (to find out if one of them will change when they believe that they really "have" the other); 3. Get married and move in together 4. Then (and ONLY then), have children.

When people are mature enough to do things in this order, the children have much less a chance of paying a horrible price by having their home ripped apart around them by divorce. When people are mature enough to do things in this order, they will have also had serious discussions about children (long before they're born), money, religion, etc. When they do this, they already know where the other one stands on these important issues.
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TexasDM .. you and I have more in common than you can ever imagine. I totally agree with your analogy of 'the right order'. I couldn't agree more!
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I have known for a long time that we had similar beliefs because I always take time to read your answers when I see you on a question I am answering, too, and I agree with you about 9 times out of 10. That's amazing! :-)
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Ditto!
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Be loyal to his wife, but respectful to his mother.

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That nails it!
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Thank you!!
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dustee
agree smart
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Exactly
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Wife always comes first. You leave your family to be independent and grown up and start your own family. You wife deserves to be held in the highest regard as the future mother of your children and the partner in your home. your mother comes just behind your wife, she raised you to be independent and should relinquish all but love and respect for you and for the woman you chose to spend your life with. ( one would assume that is not your mother) When your children are born your wife and children are most important. It's your responsibility to take your wife's side and support her if you mother has a problem with her. You step up and say that your wife and happiness in your home are now and always will be top priority for you now. That's what you promise when you marry. That's what you promise to her parents when they give their daughter to you in marriage, that you cleave only unto her and protect her.

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Very nicely said, JoJo. :-)
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