i think that people no longer feel the need to work at their marriages. when it gets tough, divorce is too easy. also, i see people tending to think that it is not their problem, so oh well. in a marriage it needs to be our problem and we need to address it. a lot of people are unwilling to accept personal responsibility. instead of admitting to mistakes that each made, it turns into a blame game-- if you wouldn't have then i wouldn't have. maybe just saying, you are right i shouldn't have and am sorry, conversations could start, couples would talk, and be able to work through their issues. - jmho
Communication and maturity between a majority of the divorced couples is major issue! Rather that addressing problems as they arise, we let them fester to the point that there is no solution other than giving up!
1.Until fairly recently in human history, the average life expectancy rarely exceeded 40 years, In that context, maintaining a lifelong monogamous relationship was not so challenging. The average now, is high 70's to mid-80's, which is a much greater challenge
2. Social conditions & attitudes have changed. Women can support themselves, and have more options available to them. People are less inclined to endure abusive relationships,
3. Due to the extreme effectiveness of sex as a marketing tool,society has become hyper-sexualized. People have come to expect that their sex lives should be the same well past middle age as when they were nineteen. This is rarely the case.So they believe they can "do better" with a new partner.& sometimes they do..
People treat social relationships like it involves the same commitments as a marriage except when it's time to get out of a relationship. By consequence those same people treat marriage like their just dating...that they can get out whenever they want.
Ur ? was why is the 'DIVORCE RATE' so high, not why marriages fail. 30 yrs ago the DR was much lower but marriages weren't much more successful. Couples had separate bedrooms or homes to be away from each other. Took other lovers, even live-ins, keeping married on paper. Even back when people lived to 40-50 & it required Papal or Royal consent to divorce history is RIPE w/ records of husbands shipping wives they couldn't get along with to convents, or allowing them to move to other homes or back to their relatives. In the early 1990s it cost my parents $6k in lawyers & court costs. It took 5 months. They only stayed married as long as they did because they were going broke & he had his own apartment for over a year before they first filed. 2 yrs ago my friend & her husband got the divorce decree online (couldn't ever decide whose grandparents to visit during holidays) & paid $450 in administrative fees. W/ a house, 3 cars & 3 kids it took 6 wks. There used to be legal, religious and social consequences for a couple to divorce, a stigma to it that brought on excommunication & ostracism. Now it's as easy, cheap and casual as disposing of paper plates instead of washing the dishes.