I have been through this! There are a couple good things you can do. One is when you want to yell, remind yourself: He/she is only 3. They don't know what they're doing, or at least they don't mean it personal to you, so there is no need to personally lash out at them. Remind yourself you are the grown-up and must act that way. Two: This sounds backward, but it works. When you feel like you want to yell, give your kid a hug instead. This will diffuse the whole situation and is probably all the kid needed in the first place. When you don't yell constantly your child will listen better and you will be more at peace.
3 months ago
Last edited at 8:58PM on 2/27/2013
Hi, Sunshine. Life can sure throw some major kinks in our lives, can't it? First, honey, I don't know if you're against this or not, but if you've been this way for quite a while now & it's not just "the blues", you may need to see your doctor about getting on an anti-depressant. You could have a chemical imbalance going on in the brain & there's not a thing you can do about that. That could be your first step. As far as yelling at your toddler, of course, that's a tough age for a parent that's NOT depressed to deal with. So, try not to be so hard on yourself while working on the problem. I, of course, don't know if you're a praying person or not. If so, you can certainly ask the Lord to help you with the problem. If not, then that's okay. Do you think possibly you could learn to be a person that "says what they mean and mean what they say", in that, if you tell him to do something once (in an extremely firm, but normal tone of voice)?
Your 3 year old wants attention and is doing what ever they can to get it. They need to be taught patience, and bargaining for their patience with rewards can help in some instances. It also helps to focus on what they are saying they need, providing instant gratification or redirecting them. Unfortunately we are on their time and their needs are priority. Parenting is a full time job and they are like miniature demanding bosses. That's what most moms don't know they are signing up for when they have them. It's about negotiating for time off, so you can get a needed break. They are slave drivers. The word strict routine comes to mind, and in that routine comes patience because they begin to know what to expect. Remind them it's time for this or it's almost time for that and they will fall into routine. Part of routine needs to be its time for mom and you to play a few times a day and its time for you to play alone so mom can rest. It will be less frustration for you both. Routine is part of day care, preschool, and school and it should starter home at 3. They need to be able to predict what's going to happen so they can focus on what's happening now.
when you get to that point put yourself in a "time out" your house is already been baby proofed, you know you love your child, lock yourself in the bathroom where you can still hear your child and take a five minute time out for yourself. it will do wonders for you. :) good luck! I'm sure its just a phase