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Friendly neighbor always calling my husband, but rude to me. I see this woman 3 days a week. How do I tell her to back off? Married 25 yrs

She lives an hour away but we see her every week at our vacation community. It's a small community of less than 50 people. Her house is next door to us. We have a very solid, happy, wonderfully happy life together. We believe in monogamy and have always been faithful and honest with each other. I've told my husband that it is wrong in my mind and very hurtful that he have anything to do with her with the way she treats me. He doesn't think she's interested in him. I know she is. Advice?

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Its not so much her its your husband tell him to cut all ties with this lady

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That's my next course of action and then all hell breaks loose:) Was wondering what a mans point of view would be. Thanks
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he can have 5 girls after him it doesnt matter your his wife thats deserves respect you come first above all things......
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I believe you can tell her politely that you feel uncomfortable with the way she treats you. Request her not to come between you and your husband. You might look insecure but I believe it's for the best. Tell your husband again and try making him understand that you are not comfortable with it.

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i think you should discuss this with your husband and tell him how you feel. talking to her wont help unless your mate backs you up. He should tell her how you feel and if she can't change he should stop associating with her.

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i would say nicely can we plz keep the conversation on something else other then my personal life plz or you could change the subject anytime she makes a statement cut her off about it by talking about something else when she gets personal and talking about ur life or walk away from her like excuse yourself from what she has to say you could say the stuff she says to u really isnt nice or appropriate can you plz stop .

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If I were you, I wouldn't feel comfortable either with that situation ! I think your husband should deal with her..but try not to do a fight or big deal of it !

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mplsstreetrwy

Your hubby needs to grow a brain and a pair of balls, Buttercup. And you need to see a shrink to find out why you're in love with a brainless concubine!

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Harsh! I think he just thinks she's over reacting. Which is no excuse to not support her on something so important. Most men have trouble in one area or another. I think a man who doesn't stand up for his woman has some real issues. However, 25 years of marriage, obviously he's not that bad.
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Actually he's great but, this situation has thrown me for a loop. Trust me he has a very nice set of balls! He's the only man in our community that she calls. I'm running out of patience with the whole ordeal
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Congrats on 25yrs of Marriage! I think you should talk to your husband. Not her. Maybe he doesn't quite grasp how much this is affecting you. Try turning off the t.v. Sit down face to face with him, look him in the eye and tell him that you understand that he doesn't believe she is interested in him, but that's not really the issue. The issue is, is that his relationship with you is more important than whatever is going on with her & this is hurting you. Remind him, marriage is give and take. Sometimes your feelings about things whether real or imagined matters. Try to help him see it from your prospective with something like "If I had a relationship with a man that was making you uncomfortable, even if it was innocent, you'd expect me to stop and I would. I'm only asking for the same consideration." Sometimes men can't read social situations. Women are better at it. She might get a kick out of causing drama. She's probably threatened by you in some way. Tell her how you feel if you think it'll help but I think this is really something between you & your husband. He should be standing up for you & by your side. If she disrespects you he should have nothing more to do with her.

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Thanks LittleWish: I've already done what you've suggested. His reply was that he would never do anything to hurt me or cause conflict between us. That he knows how's how to say no. I told him that wasn't the issue at all. Its that he can be so nice to someone who has been so hateful to me. This is the second time it has happened and I told him there are going to be repercussions per his decision to continue. We aren't even friends with her. She is a person who happens to leave next door to us at our vacation home. I'm about finished being nice about it.
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Men are thick sometimes. If I were you, I'd be very angry too. If he knows how to say no, he needs to say NO to any interaction with her. This woman is probably getting off on causing drama. If you feel you need to talk to her about it, assert your dominance. Let her know that he's YOUR husband and she is a nobody. Though do it in a mature and calm way. I've also noticed if you cut right to the truth about someone, they get very upset. She'd probably avoid her. Let her know you know her game. She's the type of person who will do something like this in order to boost her own low self esteem and try to gain dominance over other women, via their men in order to feel important about herself because she lacks any true importance. Don't talk loudly either, talk in a low dangerous tone. This will also force her to listen to your words because she will instinctively try to hear what you're saying. Make it clear that she's stepping over the line and you will protect your territory. Tell her you will rain down a wrath of crazy on her she'll never recover from. LoL Things like this. She'll put on a brave face about it. However 1 of 2 things will happen. Either she'll back off, or she'll step up her game. Both is beneficial, the 2nd one is beneficial in that it will make it more obvious to your husband how conniving and awful she really is. Talk to him again though. He said he'd never hurt you, but he is hurting you. He's betraying you by taking her side when she's hurting you and damaging your marriage. If you really want to go far, you can bait her into hitting you or damaging your property. Then you can get a restraining order. Problem solved then. :D
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P.S. This woman sounds like she has Histrionic Personality Disorder. You can read about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder
that will help you know your enemy. I've had to deal with someone like this before. She is very threatened by me and jealous of me, like this woman is with you. She has tried this with my last two boyfriends. She never succeeded. Firstly because the guys already know how she is. Also, because I made it clear that what I expect in a relationship is someone who will support me and stand by my side loyally. Not just as in not cheating, but also with someone who might try to come between us or who is abusive or hateful towards me. To my mind, someone who loves someone else will not tolerate someone hurting that person in any way. If someone was being nasty to someone I love or mistreating them, in my eyes they already have lost the right to talk to me. And good for you, there -should- be repercussions for his betrayal. What he's doing is a betrayal on so many levels, even just the friendship level. And if you've already tried to deal with her in a mature calm way and she's still not getting it, then it is time for "No more Mrs. CampGirl"!! Everyone here supports you completely. If you were wrong in anyway, believe me, we'd tell you. Maybe even let your husband read these comments so he can realize that NONE of us think whats going on is okay. Might help for him to realize that it's not just you who feels this way.
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Thanks for your advice. I am going to
'Confront' her. I understand completely about staying calm and keeping my emotions in check. Level head equal power.
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You're welcome dear. Good luck. Don't back down. You have the side of right on your side! ;)
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Hows things coming along with the neighbor?
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I haven't seen her yet. Maybe this weekend. I called her and had honey dripping from every word I said...I'm so darn aggravated with this I could explode. Hubby erased the last couple calls from his phone call history! I've been checking the phone usage on line everyday. I can see the calls received on his phone. Sad thing is my husband and I have always had a fun loving honest relationship. No serious disagreements in all the years we've been married. We say we love each other every morning and every night. I've always meant it and feel he does also. I just can't wrap my mind around this.
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Update honey? From what your last message states, it seems like your husband is having some kind of temptation. I think it's time to give him an ultimatum. I'd ask him to make a choice. Either you, with all the love you two have shared for so many years and can share for many more years to come. Or her, someone who is willing to destroy a happy marriage. The truth is, if he goes with her, he'll regret it. Someone who is willing to cheat with someone is also willing to cheat ON someone. She'd not be faithful to him. And also, a relationship started in infidelity has almost zero chance of working out. It may be difficult and it may be frightening, however you need to stand up for yourself. After all your years of love and devotion to him, you deserve better. If he doesn't choose you, he doesn't deserve you. Just from speaking to you, I can tell you are intelligent and have a kind heart. You're neither or coward nor a bully but are willing to stand up for yourself. You deserve only the best and if he's unwilling to give you that you should find someone who is.
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How do you see her 3 days a week at a vacation home? Does she come to your house or do you go to hers? I need this info. to give you an answer of what I would do...

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Our houses are side by side. No I don't go to her house but she comes into my yard to see hubby.
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Well then...sounds like hubby needs to stay indoors more. At night, especially in the spring, you and him could sneak out together. Make it fun--like teenagers hiding from parents, except in this case, it's your neighbor! You could really have some fun with this! I would. If your husband is up for it he can play hide from the neighbor. I'm serious. Sooner or later, she'll get the picture. She'll be staying in more often then you won't have to deal with her. Let me know what you decide. I'd have a ball with this !!
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Oh snap. If I were you, I'd warn her not to come into your yard again and get a no trespassing sign. That way if she comes into your yard again you can call the cops on her for trespassing. Or shoot her. ;) That is if your husband hasn't specifically invited her over. If he invites her into the yard then it wont work. :/
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I get the impression that because they are neighbors it is a problem She has a crush on her husband and she's rude to Campgirl! I'd give her a run for her money!!
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She is going to get a real run
For the money:-)
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@girliegirl some kind of glitch on Ask or my computer messed up but all my followers were completely deleted from my followers list:-( Just wanted you to know I didn't block or delete you. Hope you have a great week:-)
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@little wish:-) Karma has been working in my favor and neighbor has been having some very stressful days and nights. Hope all is well with you!
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your hubby (like most hubbies) is probably flattered by the attention and doesn't see the harm so you'll need to sit him down and explain in minute detail why this doesn't work for you, then explain to her that she needs to back off and find someone else to irritate.

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I told him this exactly. She's next. I'm not playing nice wife anymore. Thanks
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kazarina

This is no time to be soft.Tell her straight. She is an ignorant ass & to not bother associating with your family. Stay out of your yard & to do you a favor & pretend she doesn't know your family if she sees you in the street. Better still make the old man man up & tell her.

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If he's like most husbands he won't see what all the fuss is about. He's probably thinking Campgirl is over reacting. He's probably lovin' all that attention!
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kazarina
Men. sigh
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