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Ok so i need honest non violent answers: so my husband and i always end up arguing about wether its perfectly normal that guys

( in a relationship) can check out other ladies but its definetly not ok for me (& women who are in a relationship) to check other guys out. and my point of view on this is that if your partner does it why stay quiet and not let your partner know its not ok for him/her to do that, or else i/other partner will do the same. he says its totally normal and fine that guys do that cause its something natural and i say "well if its natural then why cant women do that? plus if your in a committed reltionship why would you be doing that in the first place?!?!"

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How do you prevent someone from looking, find it sane or normal to demand or request it? That's a crazy double standard along with impossible. Are you supposed to hide, pretend you don't see other men in the world? Not right.

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Oh ive done it and hes noticed and he feels really bummed out and sad and mad at the same time and i tell him "well when i see you check out other ladies in the street i dont say anything and you make a storm in a little puddle which is me checking out some guy" and he would tell me "yes but its different cause for men its natural and for ladies its not cause they shouldnt be doing that"
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That's stew pid. He sounds old school, maybe that's how his parents are. He is wrong, you are right. Look away... Out of the corner of your eye, easier than fighting and making the poor baby jealous and sad. Tell him IF he really loved you he would NEVER flirt or look at another women for the rest of his " life" ( which he wouldn't really have) and you are the only female in the universe!!!
Haha! Sounds logical.
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His parents are totally the opposite but hes like that cause hi ex was reaallly bad she would cheat on him and he would go see her and find her with guys flirting and such and i have done what you call EVERYTHING to prove him wrong that im not like that
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That's terrible. He lost all confidence and security. Her cheating left him insecure, jealous, suspicious. I guess it's a small price to pay, build his confidence up, he needs to check out, let him! He should understand it's not fair to criticize you but you know why he acts like he does.
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At first i used to get real mad when he would check other females right? But i just gave up i mean as long as he dont talk to them and such its like whatever. But when he sees me do it he raises hell
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Star!! I guess the only cure would be to duct tape all women's eyes once married. They could always change the saying, 'you can now kiss your bride', to 'you can now duct tape your brides eyes'! jk lol
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Hi Lynne!
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Lil, I guess you can only try to restore his security and confidence, it's immature, but what can you do. He was burned.
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Haha yeah i guess
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Hi Bubblious!
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there's an old saying " it's okay to look but not touch ". it human nature. men are visual. women are too. just try and tell me that you are not sizing up women and comparing yourself to them.

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girls have a right to anyhthing boys can do

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I would say yes guys do look at other women, but if he loves you after he looks
at that other women he will say to him self "but she is not better then my girl"....

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anglewithanshotgun
i agree
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Tell him if it's uncomfortable for him to see you do it then he should know that it makes you feel the same way. As well as he should have enough respect for you as his lady that he shouldn't be doing it in front of you anyway! So tell him it's a 50/50 give take, do on to others as you'd like done to you! IF HE DON'T LIKE IT HE SHOULD STOP DOING IT TO YOU OR YOU FEEL FREE TO POINT PUT WHAT AN ASS HE IS TO HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS!

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I am in agreement with refreshme! Your human its fine okay just to look but NEVER touch or make immature comments.

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thank you. guess i have to vote for your comment :) stars
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Oh ive done it and hes noticed and he feels really bummed out and sad and mad at the same time and i tell him "well when i see you check out other ladies in the street i dont say anything and you make a storm in a little puddle which is me checking out some guy" and he would tell me "yes but its different cause for men its natural and for ladies its not cause they shouldnt be doing that"
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Thanks I voted obviously on yours haha
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That Is so far from the truth! We are all Equal!
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I'm. sorry that he feels that way I.can.just imagine what else he gets upset about very DOUBLE STANDARDS! Best Wishes!
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Rrright?? And i think its dumb that when i see a guy he thinks im going to leave him for the other one just cause of the way he looks
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wow ..I was in a similar relationship and I just couldn't take it any longer ...JEALOUSY is rotten ..The jealousy turned into murder/suicide :: my husband shot me in the chest with a 45 and his exact words were "If I can't have you noone will!" Fortunately I survived and he ended taking his own life...so something little isn't as little as you think!
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Oh im so sorry to hear that. And as a matter of fact my husband wants to get a gun but according to him he wants it for safety reasons but im sure anyone who has 1 says the same even though its not the truth
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Double standards! he can't be seriously trying to convince you of this does he also say what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine and what's ours is also mine

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I go by the mantra "You can shop as long as you don't buy." Seriously though both men and women should be able to enjoy their eye candy.

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Oh ive done it and hes noticed and he feels really bummed out and sad and mad at the same time and i tell him "well when i see you check out other ladies in the street i dont say anything and you make a storm in a little puddle which is me checking out some guy" and he would tell me "yes but its different cause for men its natural and for ladies its not cause they shouldnt be doing that"
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Well he is being sexist. Women have the same desires as men.
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Thank u
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My boyfriend knows he can look but not touch. Whether a man is happy in his relationship or not doesn't matter. They will always check out the opposite s3x. He knows who's number 1. Just because he looks, doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. Men will be men.

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If you've already argued over this issue, it's doubtful that he is going to change his mind or you are going to change your views.
The biggest factor in in a healthy, committed relationship is trust in one another.
It's human nature to "check out", above average looking people, both for females and males. It's not just natural for men. Just because you're in a committed relationship doesn't take that natural reaction away, blinders don't fall over your eyes.
Both of you have to realize that it's going to happen for both of you. Jealousy has to be put aside for trust.
You both need to realize it's fine to look, as long as you don't touch.
Trust in your partner should lead you to find it amusing, because you know, no matter how much flirting and checking out goes on, you are the 2 going home together.

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Who says women can't? I know what body type makes my wife all dreamy-eyed - and I'm not it.

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Oh ive done it and hes noticed and he feels really bummed out and sad and mad at the same time and i tell him "well when i see you check out other ladies in the street i dont say anything and you make a storm in a little puddle which is me checking out some guy" and he would tell me "yes but its different cause for men its natural and for ladies its not cause they shouldnt be doing that"
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Yep, both of you should be allowed to look, because it's human nature-but not longingly or lovingly or something. Besides, if he can do it, why can't you? Just go ahead and do it without his consent, he will see how it feels.

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Oh ive done it and hes noticed and he feels really bummed out and sad and mad at the same time and i tell him "well when i see you check out other ladies in the street i dont say anything and you make a storm in a little puddle which is me checking out some guy" and he would tell me "yes but its different cause for men its natural and for ladies its not cause they shouldnt be doing that"
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whatisnext

For clarification - men were created visual and to say a man shouldn't look at another woman is like saying - close your eyes! There is a difference between seeing a woman approaching, no longer looking at that woman after first glance, and keeping his mind out of the gutter, versus his mind enjoying her bouncy breasts and or continuing to look at her as she passes and maybe even turning around to check out her backside. The latter shows disrespect to his girlfriend or wife.

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It's hypocritical to say men can/can't and women can/can't. Either you should both do it, or neither of you should. Humans are a species who are not intended to live in monogamous relationships. I am married, I don't cheat, but I do "look at the menu" from time to time. My wife knows that and is fine with that as long as I don't do it in front of her. I've told her she's aloud to look all she wants. I know who she's coming home to every night and so does she.

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Oh ive done it and hes noticed and he feels really bummed out and sad and mad at the same time and i tell him "well when i see you check out other ladies in the street i dont say anything and you make a storm in a little puddle which is me checking out some guy" and he would tell me "yes but its different cause for men its natural and for ladies its not cause they shouldnt be doing that"
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That's a load of bs and it's a double standard that you shouldn't put up with.
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I dont get the double standard thing
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You are absolutely right, on all counts. Gawk away! ;)

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Thanks xp
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Yw! If he's going to do it, so are you. Enjoy the sight-seeing! ;)
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