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heartme
heartme: 2 months ago

Is it wrong to open up my boyfriends mail?

We just moved in together 4 months ago and I don't want to over step my boundaries... The only mail I would like to open is just our bills for example the electricity is in his name, and I would like to know what it is so I can prepare for the month. Any other mail I let him open I know that is a private matter.

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Bubblious
Bubblious: 2 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 2:55PM on 3/5/2013

It is a federal offense to open mail that is not addressed to you. That said, I would discuss it with him first, be clear on what he wants opened,if anything. He can always open it then hand it over to you.

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indian808
indian808: 2 months ago

I don't see why it would matter if u just opened bills, I mean what is there to hide,go for it and see what happens

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DukeCityMuscle
DukeCityMuscle: 2 months ago
Ooooh, you're setting her up for one fierce fight. One fo the things that guys get upset about most is lack of respect for stuff that is theirs.
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jermy55
jermy55: 2 months ago

You shouldn't... Because then he'll think that you don't trust him

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knotted8
knotted8: 2 months ago

Talk to him about it. If you're living together, and you're splitting the bills, it's likely not an issue, but he might have something odd about it, so ask.

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tic_tac
tic_tac: 2 months ago

Ask him if it's ok.

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FunnyLittleFrog
FunnyLittleFrog: 2 months ago

You should talk to him about the relationship, not us. You have to protect yourself financially since you aren't married.

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dbill0352
dbill0352: 2 months ago via Android | Last edited at 2:44PM on 3/5/2013

I don't see why not. As long as it is a bill shared mutualy it shouldn't be a problem. Any other mail should be left for him. Even what may look like junk mail. You should be talking to him about it anyway.

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tonifitch
tonifitch: 2 months ago

You should be asking your boyfriend, not strangers dear. He may want you to open them but anything with another's name on it is private, unless arrangements are made. Have a good week.

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Walt_OReagun
Walt_OReagun: 2 months ago

Actually ... whether or not it is "wrong" ... it is a Federal Felony.

A word of advice ... if you move in together, BOTH your names should be on ALL leases and bills.

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suayres
suayres: 2 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 2:50PM on 3/5/2013

I don't open the mail addressed to my husband (we've been married 42 years, by the way) without asking him first. I'd be upset if he opened mail addressed to me, and what goes around, comes around. That said, our arrangement is that I'm in charge of the bills, but we agreed on that many years ago. So, just ask him if you can take over the bills. I'm sure he won't mind at all. Women are better at these things anyway (this is said tongue in cheek--I'm waiting for the flack-storm)!

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heartme: 2 months ago
lol thanks for the advice!
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Iratus
Iratus: 2 months ago via iPhone

It's illegal to open mail that's not yours. And if it is just for bills, just ask him. No need to go through his private things. If you do that, he may lose trust in you for thinking you don't trust him

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cerebrogasm
cerebrogasm: 2 months ago via iPhone

Is it wrong to also read his personal email? If you're talking about utility bills, still ask first - it's a federal crime to open mail not addressed to you (like that statute ever stopped anyone). Ethics 101 includes respecting another's privacy (addressed mail is a private communication) - even if u have been married since high school - always ask and come to an agreement first.

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ravenevan: 2 months ago via iPhone
Nice to see you're back.
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cerebrogasm: 2 months ago via iPhone
Hey Evan - got a break in production - how are you?
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DukeCityMuscle
DukeCityMuscle: 2 months ago

It's REALLY ROTTEN to open mail that isn't yours. Even if it's just junk mail or the bill for garbage collection, IT'S NOT YOURS. Guys feel very strongly about respecting boundaries and opening his mail shows you don't respect him. And while we're on the topic, son't wear his clothes either, same reason.

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val_loves_edward
val_loves_edward: 2 months ago via iPhone

You probably shouldn't

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ravenevan
ravenevan: 2 months ago via iPhone

Just ask ... first.
No big deal.
Then you know.

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CalTex
CalTex: 2 months ago | Last edited at 3:42PM on 3/5/2013

Without his knowledge? YES.

If you want to legally be able to open his mail, get married.

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CyaraBooGibson
CyaraBooGibson: 2 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 3:45PM on 3/5/2013

You should ask him before you do it(:

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CyaraBooGibson: 2 months ago via iPhone
Oops sorry didnt read the exta info srry nvm ignore this (:
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CyaraBooGibson: 2 months ago via iPhone
Fixed it c;
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CyaraBooGibson: 2 months ago via iPhone
Wasnt sapose to be a wink face. >.<
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MiserableLove: 2 months ago
okay then? 2,oooo, ooooo comments later.
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CyaraBooGibson: 1 month ago
ok.....
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lynskyn
lynskyn: 2 months ago via iPhone

Personally I would wait and ask him his thoughts on the matter then go from there.

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forChrist
forChrist: 2 months ago via Android

It depends on the reason you have for opening the mails. If the reason behind is to help pay the bills, no problem, go ahead. But, if the reason behind has anything to do with distrust, better quit, and position yourself to trust him.

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eaglet
eaglet: 2 months ago

Good fences makes good neighbors.... hmmm in my opinion...you should have ask from him....

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jojo2430
jojo2430: 2 months ago via iPhone

You are surely with him enough to inform him that you want to open bills. If you live together its understood that you have a vested interest in each other and are equal partners in the relationship.

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MargaretMowery
MargaretMowery: 2 months ago via iPhone

My husband of 17 years still does not out of respect. If you have respect and trust you have it all.

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alwaysloveoneperson
alwaysloveoneperson: 2 months ago

i get that you wanna see the letter because you wanna know whats going on but u should trust him in that just tell him to sent you the bill stuff and then you dont have to open his email

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Namay
Namay: 2 months ago

it is not wrong unless it concerns both of you...

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