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My problem is this.. Custody arrangements? Pls read on.

I left my partner of 5yrs due to him smoking crystal meth? He has across to our son approximately 4-6 times a month. recently he has been taking out son to his "friends" houses that also smoke drugs. I don't like this AT ALL but he refuses to listen to me. What can I do? besides the drugs he is an adoring & devoted father. I just want him to stop taking our son around these people. What do you suggest I do? I don't want my son to cease contact with him but he doesn't see a problem with it & won't stop no matter what I say. Help!! I would rather not go through courts & make a bad situation worse but I also don't want my son around these people..,

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If you tell him what you want, and the behavior doesn't stop then you will HAVE to take it to court. Your son should not be exposed to that environment, and if you care about his health and safety, you will gain full custody of him.

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You're absolutely right (as usual) ;)
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Haha thanks truckerlady :D
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FunnyLittleFrog

You have to go to court. Anything else would damage your relationship more. The child is learning a lot from these friends, so you should hurry.

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go to court. Are you more worried about the guy or your kid! No contact without being drug free is your only option. Do you realize the Danger you are allowing your son to be in every time he is with this guy? Get a temp restraining order and get this "good" father to be a Good father.

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You need a lawyer to go to court with you. Does the father pay child support? These and other questions will be gone over, and you will need to supply proof of what you say. The lawyer will advise you on what to do. Your ex-partner is not going to do what you want!

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You need lawyer

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Tell the court. Its ILLEGAL for him to do drugs with a child present, let aline take a child to a place with other druggies. Call the police. He us not a good father at all if he does such things with the child. He is ENDANGERING your child. Call DHS, the police, the court etc. If you know this is occuring and DONT do something about it and something happens you could BOTH loose custody of the child.

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Just because you don't like something doesn't grant you the moral right to dictate. That's a huge mistake that many custodial parents make. (If you agreed with the Ex, they probably wouldn't be an Ex.)

For a child to grow up well adjusted and prepared for the challenges of life, it requires experience. As long as the child isn't endangered, you should leave it alone and allow them to learn.

It's not about you and what you like, It's about the child... Though you may get/have legal mandate to dictate terms and use them to punish. The child will generally be the one harmed by the use of it.

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Experience as a child around drugs? I don't think so.
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If you had answered that about anything that was a legal activity I would agree with you. BUT this is not. The child is in danger. This kid could be used as a runner or used to pay for drugs. Someone could give him soething - The list is long and awful of what could happen.
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Hysterical over reacting and false drama, to justify what?

She said he's a loving and adoring father... Not Pablo Escobar using children as drug mules.

I'm sure you and all of your friends are nuns. (Yes... Sarcasm) Don't be a hypocrite.

He has no right to tell her how to be a mother as long as the child isn't being harmed. We all have that right as a parent. (So does this guy)
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Also... If she has a child (toddler?) with a man who's a hopeless degenerate addict, I wouldn't be shocked if she parties a bit too... (But she's a mom and that's ok, right? Probably won't date more losers and have them around the child right?)

If you're going to jump to conclusions, start judging and pointing fingers... Point them at everyone.
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No. You are wrong. I too believe that both Father and Mother should have equal rights and interractions with a child. The problem is that there are Real Dangers when A parent is involved in drugs/drinking. I have seen 1 too many kids hurt because 1 or both parents think they are ok when they in fact are not capable of caring for themselves let alone a child. A loving adoring mother or father would not expose the child they claim to love to themselves when they are under the influence.
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I'm wrong? How?

Mom states that he's a good dad. Never states he does drugs around the child or endangers it in any way. Admits she doesn't like dads friends, but never states any inappropriate behavior around the child.

We agree that a good parent doesn't expose children to inappropriate situations...
I'm arguing with the flawed logic (example: 'parents should quit having sex because its not appropriate to expose children to it...') Do you expose your child to sex? I don't. Why would it make a parent dangerous just because they do adult things in private or have friends that do?

Is dad perfect? NO! (I'd bet long odds that mom isn't either.) But its not a crime to be a parent and have flaws, or have friends that your ex doesn't like.

Assumptions are being made and hysterical drama that potentially affects the child's well-being is the result.
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hmmm. WOW. Point taken. I had to reread the question and I realize I did put my own thoughts in between the lines. She does not state what would have been an obvious thing to state. My hat off to you ORKA. SPOT on answer.
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Thank you.

I apologize for any insult or frustration. I generally play devils advocate and use sarcasm to stimulate consideration of an alternate point of view. (I probably debate as much as I give honest opinions.)

I've been reading your posts and enjoy your insights. Would you mind if I followed you?
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