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What do you think of this problem between 2 brothers in our extended family?It started like this.They are twins and 63 years old. Read on...

MOD-route to adult relationships.'phone broke. Okay..let's call them Joe and Sam. They started out their lives very close yet each had a different personality (this is a good question and I need help ). Joe served 2 tours in the Viet Nam war and started an artistic landscaping business. He also went to Vietnam 11 times to help with medical and orphanages later on
while Sam became a casino executive in Las Vegas earning over $100
MILLION dollars per year. My question is this...if you were Sam, would
you share with your twin brother so he would never
need for anything? Sam is worth about 200 million. Please no rude
remarks. Some say yes and some say no, that it is his money to do as he pleases. They are close and both good fine men. However, the war is taming it's toll on Joe I think. Joe is also pround of his brother and in never envious , but some great help from his brother Sam would take away the stress he has now and he has served his country and travels the world doing humanitarian work. Ease think carefully before answering. It's serious to our family. Thank you!

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If Joe is "living right" and trying honestly and legally to make a living, I would certainly share my wealth. If he was a moocher and cared about only getting money, or if he was an addict, then no I wouldn't help him, but I would make sure he had food, etc. just no cash. I don't understand what you mean by "They are both food men"......sorry

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Joe is a fine man who shares what he has and is respected greatly in the community. Even his wealthy brother asks Joe for advice of the heart and people call Joe at all hours for his straightforward but kind advice. Joe is a proud man who would go through he'll for his own family. The economy has hit hard when he needs help , people disappear bit he's always there for others/always! Thank you for answering do much,
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Clickety -hi. Didn't see it was you. They haven't moved the question to right category and I asked them to. How can I ask them again if ai am watching this question. Clickety? Joe is a fine man, I know because he is my husband. He would die if he thought I was asking for this opinion.
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*fine men not food men. Think out of the "box", either KFC or Popeye's.
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IRS a typo and this took me 2 hours to type on the phone. It was to say GOOD MEN.
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It's not IRS-this phone is broke. I'm sonfrustrated am about to cry trying to type this all out.
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Good for you, too. Hope it all works out.
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Sounds like there are two good men, with the means and wisdom to come to an affable conclusion.
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kazarina
I think Joe is the better man of the two. He may not have the cash flow but he certainly has the heart & soul of a saint. It would be nice if Sam did help joe but not by direct handout. I'm sure Joe's a proud man. It would be nice if Sam said he would donate a sum of money for Joe to share with the world as long as he used a small amount to keep himself well so he could continue to help the world as he does. Once Joe worked out how to use the money then Sam could even buy a home for Joe to work from if that's what he needed for a charity base. So I think Sam should provide for his brother but allow his brother dignity & respect the nurturing nature of Joe.
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I like if kazarina. It's a touchy thing going on here.
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kazarina
There is a saying "ask & you shall receive" & it may not necessarily be from Sam.
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Ahhh I gotcha Sincerity. Joe does seem to be a great person. I agree with kazarina. And believe me, good people do get blessed when they least expect it.
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kazarina
Hi Clickety, hope your well. It's been a while.
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I would share with Joe. If Joe is a proud man, maybe Sam could donate goods to Joes humanitarian efforts.

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Wonderful idea! That he would love !
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Sam made his money from people's losses; like preying in those with hopes of winning. While Jim took the route of giving back to those u'n need there is likely a very wide difference in their values.
Sam someday might realize his brother could use a few extra bucks, but there has to be an event that shakes him to do the right thing.

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That is exactly my problem with it too. The best guy doesn't alway win. Joe, because of the economy , is considered poverty level and it's just not right. He's woked his tail off for 40 years and used to have a thriving business and raised three food and kind children, and never drank a drop of liquor. How can a brother not see this? I just feel sorry for Joe. The good man doesn't get
recognition, the rich one does...
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How does Joe feel towards his brother?
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He loves him to death since they are twins, however about 5 -6 years ago when the economy collapsed , Joe did express to his wife that he wished his brother would just see, without having to be told, how desperate things were and he could use some help. However, Joe's wife knows how to handle these things without risking her husband losing his pride of taking care of his own family. A god man wants to be able to take care of his own family. And Jos and his family need to realize that Sam is in another city and is not a mind reader. He is so busy but will stop for his family, but someone needs to give him a chance to help by telling him whats going on. Also, there are a lot of leoe who ask for money. No one knows just how much he pays out each month. But his secretary said it was a lot, and only one person from his high school has ever paid him back. She walked in 10 months after she borrows it and said the money he loaned her allowed her to find a good lawyer to keep her ex from their little girl.
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kazarina

I accidently put my answer as a comment to clickety's answer. Please see there. Sorry da me.

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Great answer too!!'
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kazarina
Sam would probably never admit it but I think he wishes for the respect that Joe is given from everyone. While Sam has wealth & the power of choice that comes from having money to buy or do whatever you like, I'm sure he sees how respected Joe is without having all the trimmings of wealth. Joe is a rich man of the heart & you my dear married the right man. He sounds like a wonderful man.
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I think you are right . When their mother was alice, she always bragged on Sam, right I'm front of Joe all the time . When introducing my husband, she would never say his name, she would say," This is Sam's brother!!!" bit years later whn their mother died, Sam asked Joe I'd he could find it in his heart ro do the prayer at the funeral , because you're right-Sam does respect Joe a lot.
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kazarina
People with money can never be sure if they are loved or respected because of it or for who they truly are. Sam must see how Joe is the community leader & his followers are his followers because of his personal wealth of care factor for them, not physical wealth that attracts fake people hoping to get a share of it. Im sure Sam is wise & knows while his mother appeared prouder of Sam, Sam knew she should have been more proud of Joe. At the end of the day respect is a far greater personal tool than money.
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kazarina
Sam will understand this value. People go on face value. I have brought up 2 children completely on my own financially except for their first 6 & 7 weeks of their lives. I have always managed to dress very well & enjoy lovely jewelry. (not diamonds & by being an astute bargain shopper)due to this fact when I shop the shop staff think I have money which I don't & I often become one of their best customers in the lower sale price catorgory. They dont know that I have always been a single parent & not always had regular paid work. I have struggled but also done alot of voluntry work which yes is its own reward. I know firsthand things aren't always as they seem. Joe will be helped if God doesn't look after him there will be someone who will. Good things do happen to good people. But you have to put it out there in the universe & someone will reward all the good deeds for man that Joe has done by offering him assistance in his journey to keep on helping others through this life.
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tattoogirl

Morning Sincerity!! Let me tell you, I myself am a twin ...my sister & I have always been close, but there have been times when we have not seen eye to eye & not spoken but we Always find our way back to each other.
Not bragging just telling the truth.I have always had it a lot easier than my sister. She never asked for help, but being a twin we could always tell when the other needed something...I would send her money because I had a feeling. ..she lived 3000 miles from me. She would just cry ,now she lives down the block & we do the same thing. I have known many sets of twins in my life. The one thing they will block out of their thinking is asking for money, especially when they are the strong type like your brother. Its not in there nature to ask for that type of help, either someone has to do it for him or your brother Sam just has to know. We all know men are hardwired differently!!
So my suggestion is talk to Sam let him know what you know & what Joe won't ask or tell him. Then have him ask Joe " hey in this economy could you use some help"
In the long run it really helps both...Joe gets what he needs & Sam gets a nice write off for tax donations!!! :) hope this helps!!

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Sam does like me a lot and knows his brother is a proud man who loves his family. Thank you tatoogirl ! And who knows, maybe this spring the work will be great this year!!!
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I wanted to add that I will do this. If something comes up and we just can't afford it and it's necessary , because Tatoogirl. We don't have any credit cards. We used to, but got rid of them ALL and have much more money not paying monthly bills to department stores. If we don't pay cash, we don't buy it. So if something were to come up that Joe needed for his business like a vehicle, I will stand in for Joe and speak to Sam...because I know one thing for sure, SM is glad his brother found someone who really loved h and married him because he loves his brother so much. I think THIS IS MY MAJOR QUESTION...wouldn't it be nice if Sam said one day," Joe, you're my brother, were getting older. Mom and dad are gone, and the work you do is getting harder and harder to do. I would like ro five you _____ (fill in blank) million dollars so you'll never have another worry". I would be so happy for Joe because he's worked so hard his whole life physically , and Sam is at a desk. But for some reason, Sam does not feel his brother either deserves it or that maybe it would make Jos fell funny, bit Joe would accept it gladly. They'll be 66 soon (I married someone older but not too much, 8 years) and as for me, I wouldn't need or take it. In 2 years I will have my teacher's early retirement . I just wish Sam would do that for Joe and I don't think that's something I could approach him on. Joe could spend his later years seeing things he's never seen-this is making me sad Tatoogirl. Thanks so MICH for jelling ms out so much.
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Much for helping me out on this*****
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Hmm I understand what you were explaining to them, but it probably ain't going to help out much due to them claiming the surveys were the change of this site. In which I myself personally think it were just them instead and using the surveys as a cover up and excuse for them really being the one's and changing and bending the rules around into more striction. Anyways theory is they are just focused on making this site more suitable into direct questions and answers to be more specific, but eveyrone isn't going to do that instead just give their own opinions and it helps out a whole lot and is what makes this website more fun and interesting I think... Well then I guess they removed your question about that ordeal Lol =)
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dustee

Good morning Sincerity...lots going on..

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Yes, hello sweetie sweetertabtea.. Getting an upgrade on my phone today because I cant type a thing on here it took me almost 2 HOURS TO WRITE the firsts question!!! What's the deal
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dustee
lol.... smiles
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8)
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Yes you should help your brother. Give him a certain amount of money with a financial adviser where as he can only have so much money a month. Or pay off his largest debts to give him a new start, with the understanding that this is a gift. Twins or no twins, family or not we are all different and need help sometimes. Remember I don't care how much money you have someone helped you. Plus it is the right thing to do and there is no greater gift than sharing. We all get a new day every 24 hrs. I hear people say don't give to an addict, an ex con, a gambler, or whatever we as human beings have been trained to believe has nothing to do with giving. Giving is a loving heart matter. Ii say if you are giving to someone you know has an issue that's a bonus the others you give to you just don't know what there issue is yet we all have issues. Do the right thing in your heart not because what others think because it's the right thing.







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Thank you for your mind answd. I liked it very much but I am not the one with
money or I'd be working and not on her.e. It's the TWIN who has it.Bit thank you for ansedimg
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This phone is broken. It will not produce the same letters than have been pressed. I never heard of such a thing .
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While I heartily applaud this suggestion, such an arrangement would be a tremendous insult to Joe. Telling him he can't ask for more than a particular amount of money each month would be a terrible insult.
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Good morning Sincerity
Yes of course he should share..
This of course is my opinion based on how I have lived my life..
it is through sharing
That our lives are truly rich
I hope the universe guides this brother to have this conclusion.

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Thank you blades. Read what I just wrote under Taroogirls answer at the end. We have no bills, no debts, we are frugle. I mean we fouls FO out an charge a bunch of stuff but just not that way so it wouldn't bs like his brother would feel like he's rescuing his own twin. It would be more of a..." This is my brother. He works hard daily . I have worked hard bit luck also put me where I am today. He could travel finally and take some time from his PTSD and enjoy life even more. I can do this for my belter ." on the other hand, he doles out thousands of dollars monthly to peoe who AREN'T their twin -for exams he pays his ex-wife's MOTHER a monthly stipend because she got used to the lifestyle while her daughter was married to Sam. But this is his TWIN! I'm thinking there are quite a few years left and who knows what his brother may do.
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Maybe he sees the tough determination in him.. so much so he doesn't feel needed? maybe he could use a little enlightening...
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kazarina
Many a good man needs assistance or help sometimes to fall on his feet not his ass.
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That is very true
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Sincerity, this is what I think: there is usually not much wrong between twins, so there is a likely solution here.
I think the problem is not "if", but 'how' to approach the topic of assistance so that everyone's dignity remains intact. Who does Sam love? That is the person who should take their observation to Sam that Joe could use a bit of assistance. Remember that Sam is heavily into money, but he could fund charitable activities, especially if there was a tax receipt for some of it. Having somebody who Sam doesn't love with all his heart deliver this info or this suggestion would be the wrong approach. It needs to be somebody that Sam would have trouble saying no to. Sincerity, I hope this helps.

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Sam trusts and loves only me with his brother's loce and life. He knows I loce his brother. Sam and I hsve sooken together on this tolic before. Right now, Sam sees his brother as a capable person with a strong locing damily. I know you are right. I would be the one. And I have no problem with that. Sam is a VERY busy lesson. He has ro be told things. He can't just guess. This is how he thinks..."What is the need and how do we get that to Hou through the proper channels to where it's a "win/win" for both parties . Thanks Rath! Hou hit it straight on. I wrote other comments which explain it more.
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It's me, Beckie. How did this turn out? I can't imagine anybody saying no to you because you gather your thoughts so well from a variety of perspectives and have everything sorted out in your mind before you express yourself. I hope this situation is better now.
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I would share with Joe,200million is alot of money.

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Me too ...in a second . But Sam has a team of attorneys who make sure he doesn't do that without thinking first . And that's why he has more money than most because he does give . Thank you so much for answering . The sole purpose of maybe his brother helping him is a sime-or xomlicafed-as the emotion of stress. We all jace it, bit we have had some things happen that to beyond stress. Thanks again!
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All the best to you and your family,sincerity
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I think Sam should definitely share his wealth with Joe. I mean, I only have to put myself in the situation. I am very generous by nature, but even if I weren't, isn't that just the brotherly, the right thing to do? I think it would and should be a very natural response. Nothing to even think about. I hope the matter gets solves soon, so it doesn't have to be a source of grief for any of you, any longer.

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Don't leave family out to dry. If they ate struggling you should help them but if not you should go your merry way

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Well, I am not the one with the money which this question is about, but when ever I do get a severalmhundred dollars ahead, which takes me 6 months to save, a realive always calls and need money to pay a bill and once again my dreams of owning a laptop end and I'm once again stuck answering my Ask answers on my phone. I am learning a big lesson. People who have money need to be careful with it or they'll have nothing left-
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several hundred dollars***
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Whatever a laptop costs...I wouldn't know how much that is because relatives keep "borrowing" the money I save to get one...
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Hi doll! Hi Rath and Craigsmon, and all you other lovely people! Been gone from the site for a little break.

Sin, this doesn't have to be difficult, from all your comments, it sounds like Sam would be happy to help Joe out if he had a route to do so. So the issue is not whether or not Sam will help, it's how to make it safe to help and still respect Joe's accomplishments.

How about Joe going to Sam with a suggestion to set up a charitable organization that Joe could run, Sam could contribute to it annually and get a tax write-off. The organization could work to bring in other donations, so Sam could reduce his contributions as time went by. Make it a cause that Joe feels strongly about and that is acceptable to Sam. (cont)

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You help Joe think of what he wants to set up, write up a business plan, take it to Sam with suggestions about funding. Ask for Sam's assistance with running the charity in a business-like way. Make part of the charity contribute a salary to Joe, whatever amount he and Sam agree on. Sam will be helping Joe, getting a tax write-off, and supporting a good cause. Joe will be working to support something he believes in, and his pride is supported because he's working to earn his salary.

How does that work for you?
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Hi, koichan. How you doing? :) Glad you're back.
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Hi Craigsmom, I'm just popping in and out for a while. The rulers of this site have gotten very snippy, don't care about their customers, and have just kind of irritated me for a while. Then I get to missing my friends, like you, and I come back to check up on them. Good to see you too.
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Awww, koichan. :)
I understand.
Don't stay away too long, ya hear? :)
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Not a chance! I miss you too much!
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Aww, aren't you a sweetheart!? <3
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Koi, I have a really good answer for you and your answer has helped me see this. Sick right now but please hold on!
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Get better soonest!
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yes he should.... its funny how life is sometimes ... the older we get the wiser we are . we see whats important in life but some of us don't see this until its too late.. and thats a shame

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Thanks Hawkman-updates ...the wife got her husband money and vehicles and a huge mortgage paid off. And the twin told his brother's wife to call him if anything else is needed and he will take care of it. Thank you for answering my question!!!!!
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