Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit

Why do I keep changing my mind about leaving my husband?...

one minute I am strong in my convictions then i wake up and forgive and forget. it would be very hard for me to adjust not being completely dependant on him. he has kept me isolated for so long 3 years. I fell like I would be jumping off a cliff by leaving him, and by staying I lose a little of myself every day. He won't communicate with me about anything. I am trapped! how do I get the courage to belive I am worth having a fulfilled life what it comes down to it he has made me a shell of the woman I once was. how do I stand strong in knowing I can make it?

Report as

Hun you start out by making a list of things you want to be or do and accomplish and you do them with friends and by looking into research and starting those things like say you wanna be a cook you get lessons and take them with friends it seems like your not happy because you haven't done stuff that makes you happy or that you have always wanted to do instead you been doing alot for your husband and putting alot of your dreams and stuff behind once you go out and start something for yourself you will feel like either way you can stand alone cause you have accomplish doing stuff you always wanted to do alone and by then you will know if your relationship is worth being in or getting out if your happy doing that stuff you love doing and your husband doesn't support your independence then move on especially if he doesn't encourage you to do more as one you should follow your dreams .

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
thank you for taking the time to give me a grate answer and advice that I will take! and the encourageing words I will read more than onece!
Report as
your welcome i really just want the best for others and for you and for you to do what makes you happy have a great day :)
Report as
thanks you too!
Report as
Add a comment...

Oh, Hun ... It's because you are torn between the life you know, and the unknown. No one can make that decision but you. If you decide that THIS life with you husband is just not going to work, and you have exhausted all attempts to salvage it, then you have to take a stand on where you want to go from here.

Sometimes, we have to step into the dark abyss in order to see the light.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
thank you for putting it the way you did. I am sure I will come back to your answer to help me keep things in perspective. sometimes you need to hear some one say the things you already know. to "get it."
Report as
So glad I could help. My heart goes out to you. If you need words of comfort, support, reason, or even a swift kick in the keister .. You, know I am here for you.
Report as
Great to know. I am sure I will take you up on that offer! lol
Report as
Add a comment...

Because you are scared of change,
It's easier to forgive and forget,
ps - you can make it,
you just need to make yourself make it. you should speak with a friend
or maybe a family member to see if you can stay with them until you get on your feet ,

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (4)
Report as
true. thank you.
Report as
So do it !
Don't wait-
Will it be different next time ?
Only in your mind
Make it happen !
Report as
thanks for the encouraging words!!
Report as
Be you !
Report as
Add a comment...

The fear of the unknown is a big one. I am sure you had friends before you met your husband. You can always reconnect with them. The true friends will help you get back on your feet. Also check around for local groups that can help. You'd be surprised how much is actually out there. Contact a church or Goodwill and they will have names of organizations that can help. Be brave and remember it will get better.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
thank you so much! I hope so.
Report as
My first boyfriend took my self esteem. I swore it would never happen again. I slipped a little with the next one, but then I just took the time I needed to build myself beck up. There has been no stopping me since! I am now married to the best man for me. I promise it does get better!
Report as
thanks. hope so! I knew all the good men are taken. lol I'm glad you found one
Report as
Add a comment...

I truly sympathize with u. That was me many years ago. I finally left and met the man of my dreams. I just lost my darling husband but I am so glad I left my first husband in the dust. He was awful to me. Be brave! You can do it. I finally decided that life with my first husband was going to be worse than being by myself. I was right.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
Sorry to hear you lost your husband. I'm glade your in a good space now. I know leaving wont be easy but, lots of woman have done it before me and are better for it.thank you for your answer!
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer
Popular Searches