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Am I cold and cruel?

I often wonder if I lack compassion: I don't kick someone when they're down, but I don't help them back up either. I just assume they made a choice and this was the result. For people with Cancer or who had bad things happen that couldn't have been prevented - yes I feel sorry for them. But if it was a direct result of a choice they made, I tend to be a bit on the cold side. Does this make me a bad person? I don't wish bad things to happen to people I just expect people to take responsibility for there actions. I just want to know, does this make me cruel or unfeeling?

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Nah, you just see things as they are.

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Actually. I'm the same, some times I wish I was a little softer on people but my face doesn't let me... I try to be cheerful and smile all the time, I always help people I love that about my self.... but its just hard to pretend sometimes

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No, in the same way. It just means just tell it how it is and feel people should take responsibility for their actions. It's a good thing.

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My stepdad contracted colon cancer after a life of eating red meat for at least one meal every day, not exercising, and eating the fried chicken breading right out of the grease trap. I felt sorry for him, but not because he contracted cancer. Rather because he never, either before of after the cancer, took responsibility for his condition, and instead attributed it to God's will. That Job complex is a frustrating thing. Don't feel bad for not pitying people for making their own beds. Besides, the fact that you are even distressed over whether or not you are cruel for feeling the way you do proves you are not.

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I never thought of it like that, thx
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You are not a bad person.
People should take the responsibility of their actions that's the truth.
Thing is why are they making mistakes?
Well I believe that when a person is in a situation he/she doesn't think strange so probably he ll make a bad decision. Plus they are people who don't know any better. No one ever showed the right way. Family is a major factor in a person's way of thinking and not all of people out there had the attention needed.
Another thing I believe is that you don't have to regret anything in your life. Yes you should rethink your choices and evaluate them right or wrong, bad the mistakes you made, made you the man you are. So maybe you need to make mistakes to find out your path.
On the other hand that doesn't mean that when

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you make the bad decision and you pay the cause you feel good about it. People "suffer" from bad decisions every day and yes that's the journey they have to go through but its not pretty.
And let me please take a long shot and say something about you. I m feeling that you being like that its a defence, I feel that you had to go through some stuff no one helped you out, you get up again and now you feel like everyone can and should do that. I felt that way too back in the days. But the thing is that no one is the same. Not everyone has the strength to do that. And I know that you would appreciate a helping hand when you had your lows so why you become the person that turned his back one you? I also believe that the fact that you second guess yourself and ask if you are cold and cruel is really the conflict that you feel inside. You wanna be helpful but you also have that voice that keeps saying "why? I had to do it myself!"... then again I could be really wrong so I apologize.
To sum up you are not bad at all. People should go through stuff and if you don't feel like it you don't have to help or feel sorry. But not everyone deserves what's going through cause not everyone can see two steps ahead.
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You pretty much summed me up, though the things I went through weren't that bad, it's just every time I got through one I came out feeling alone and bitter, know if there's a way to change that?
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Well I can understand how you feel cause I ve been there. I had a tough childhood and my teenage years were even worse. I didn't made any choices but I went through stuff. I am 22 now and I feel better almost completely ok. But there was a time around 17 I thing that I was starting to gather up myself and get up when I felt that if I managed to get up everyone can so no one will have my pity cause no one helped me and care about what I was going through. The thing that made me change was that when I got older I went back and saw things differently. I forgave my parents for their mistakes I understood that they are people except for parents and they didn't know any better and I felt the madness and "hate" getting off my system. I felt like that moment I helped my 14 years old self to let go, and I knew that not everyone is strong enough to do that and everyone need a helping hand. I m actually here cause I wanna help as much as I can now. Maybe you need to wait time to change you. Maybe being cold right now is a phase you need to go through. But don't worry you are not a bad person I tell you that.
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Not at all. Your thinking logical. People are supposed to have responsibility's. And your right. It's there fault if they get cancer, and bad things happen to people that don't listen to important rules that may have an affect on there life. I know some people like that. It's there choice. You can't force them to stop doing unhealthy things.

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I don't think it's their fault if they get cancer, except for maybe smoking induced cancer
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Yeah, Thats what I meant.
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No that's not cruel at all. I'm more cruel than that, well my family says I'm cruel

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