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How can someone control their anger without saying something they will regret?

count to ten> never works,stress ball>nope,anger management>don't afford it =(
it is very difficult to not get angry at the smallest thing but i don't hate anyone i just seem to ruin their days with what i say at times. denial gets a hold of me and i know i'm wrong but when i'm in the moment-i am right. (in my mind)
what else can i we do? what can people do to help people this way without offending them?

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You just have to learn to exercise self control, it's a part of being mature.

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yes, true, but it is extremely difficult
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It is difficult, so are the issues that arise from anger.
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yeah i know
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go somewhere else and calm down and take deep breaths

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Star good answer
@Jenny you may be able to find anger management help . I've seen non profit - charitable organizations that offer free
or sliding scale price services .. Best of luck to you .
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okay
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the problem is that i can't calm down until after i say things that i regret =(
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really? free help?
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you need help that
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Think about a subject that will keep your mind occupied.

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you know i've never thought about doing that? thank you
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My pleasure.
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I have the same problem so if you find out tell me

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i will be glad too. we just need to have hope that we will change =)
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indeed
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Imagine them.. in their underpants. Then stop, cause that's pervy.

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LoL
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think of the consequences before u do or say something and/or take a walk listen to music or a hobby or favorite activity to do that u can do at the moment

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i used to ignore the consequences, now i do think about them befoer speaking so i've learned to control myself BUT ONLY SOMETIMES, and its a bummer that i can't just stay calm,,but i write it all out and i go out and skate or bike ride or play basketball, but even so, sometimes i feel angry that im angry and it makes me more angry
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Take a vow of silence. Promise yourself you are going to say nothing, good or bad. Once you have practiced this for a while you can train yourself to be more selective in your responces. But you need to start out saying nothing for everything first.

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what r u a therapist and please dont tell me im right about that
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No I am not a therapist, just an older adult who know a few things and believes in other ways of getting things accomplished.
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thank you, my dad told me once to learn to stay quiet and relax and not say anything that will hurt someone's feelings, so you are right, this can help,,but it still is difficult to acomplish but i will do it =)
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Start practicing martial arts, it not only allows you to control your anger, but also allows you to gain a better disposition altogether by venting it. It can also teach you to turn the anger into a source of enrgy for yourself, which will further tighten your self control.

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humm? i'll think about that , thanks
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you're welcome
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i get mad at the littlest things to that in the end i feel embarrassed for even getting mad at. in the moment when your mad just think if the thing your getting mad at really matters and try to calm yourself down before saying or doing anything you'll regret. because usually the little things that i get mad at doesn't have an effect on me now.

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Actually everything affects you. From the falling leaf to the crashing plane. It affects you in some way, no matter how small.
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i get that way too, but i always know that anything i say or do will affect someone but i still do it or say it anyways but not because i want to hurt them, because i dont, but because i've just gotten used to my attitude and even when im not angry i still give a bad vibe when i walk into the room
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Breathing exercises, and physical exercise. Start running, you'll burn off some of that excess adrenaline and energy. When you feel you start getting angry, try breathing and refocusing your attention. Breathe in for a count of three, hold for a count of three, exhale for a count of three. Repeat until you've calmed down, then try to approach the situation from a different, more neutral angle.

If you're in an argument, instead of saying "you you you" try saying "me me me." You can't say "You hate me!" because you don't know what they're feeling. Instead talk about how you feel, what you think, and don't accuse or throw blame. It's a better way to stay neutral.

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i will do this. time to put my treadmill to work. thank you for the advice, i appreciate it. and try my best to stay quiet in an argument but sometimes i just want to keep defending myself but i know that when i argue with my mother, i shouldnt have to defend myself from her because she is my mom,,,bullies, now thats where i should defend myself, not at home, right? i do blame the rest for my anger, i get in denial a lot, but i'm working on it.
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As long as you recognize it and try to work on it, you'll be OK. It's a difficult process, that's for sure, but the fact you're trying to help yourself is a great sign. Good luck :)
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Either walk away or control the impulse. Say to yourself "once it leaves the sanctity of the mouth, a hundred horses can't bring it back", before you blow up,

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this makes total sense. thank you
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don't talk for 5 seconds when you get angry before responding.

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LoL after those five seconds i start talking =(
i'll work on it. thnks
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Have a willingness to "step out" of oneself and observe, listen, learn. Introspection, is an illuminating tool. Assessable to all, but often overlooked.

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oarkergreatdane

Simply walk away.

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i always tell people, two people in a fist fight, the one with real intelligence is the one who can walk away,,,,,i should take my own advice when it comes down to arguments.
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All the answers here are great, but I would tell you to imagine someone u like that would do or say the right thing, imagine what he or she would do and do it calmly, and always smile.

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when i was in highschool, i never smiled, people liked me but they always told me i look mad. one day, my junior year my mother told me to be happy and smile at the world, after that day i did. i smiled and people noticed. i even made others smile with my smile. it feels good to smile. im a very caring honest and compassionate person but when i feel bothered or angry-i can be very mean and i hate that about myself. worse thing is that only my family sees the evil sidee of me and the outside world thinks im an angel =( i am but i just have an anger problem, that doesnt make me a bad person. but anyway back to the smiling---it feels good to smile =)
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now that im in college and i'm working,,,stress is becoming a bad thing for me- it's making me angry LoL,,,i've always been able to cope with stress but ever since the end of the year 2012 til now,,i seem to go back to my elementary school days and get mad for the littlest things
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There is something you can do to get rid of anger, The thing that makes you angry the most.... Like when you remember this this thing you get angry like wana break something... Keep it in you mind and think about it so much until your not angry about it anymore... Just keep it on your mind so much until the anger is gone... After that..every other little thing that used to make you angry wont...
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my anger makes me angry and now that i think about it, when i think about how angry i am,,,,the anger does tend to fade away after awhile
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I've always heard instead of counting to ten, try to say 6 things you know a little about but not much. It's simple, and is pretty distracting, which is good.

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sounds better =) because i've tried counting to ten,,this is how i counted:
one, two- ten!
(LoL)
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You might try yoga or something like that. Some people find solace in mysticism. Do something that is frustrating, like a big jig-saw puzzle and practice control. Join a sports team. There is no better way to get better at something then to practice with others.

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i've never thought about doing something frustrating like you say, but it makes sense to ppractice control that way. i will try it. as for sports, i don't afford being in a sport, i never have. but now that i'm not a child anymore and i have a job, i should start saving and maybe join a soccer team as a hobby or something,,,we will see ..thanks
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