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oarkergreatdane

What was the worst day of your life and how did it change the path that you thought you were going to follow?

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The worst day of my life is far too personal to relate but it blew my life apart.

I lost direction for a long time and many of the things I had been doing no longer seemed important to me. It took a long time to get back on track, but it was a new track -- not one filled with purpose, but one that I just cobbled together from the bits and pieces.

But you can learn a lot about yourself in times of disaster and you don't have to stay down and out. What's important is to find a reason to go on. No matter what happens to you, you have the rest of your life to live and you owe it to yourself and to your loved ones to pull yourself out of the muck.

A Japanese priest named Daruma was injured so badly in a shipwreck that he lost both arms and both legs. He continued to teach but had to depend on his disciples for everything he needed. Little round Daruma dolls have been made in his memory: they are weighted so they can never be made to lie down. Their message is, "Three times knocked down, four times get up."

It's not a bad recipe for the hard times.

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My bad time is nothing compared to those listed above and to yours OzMan. Tears fill my heart for you now although you have not said what that day was, nor do you need to. (((((Y)))))
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Thanks, Yosey. It was more than 16 years ago but, on a bad day, can still feel pretty raw.
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Just remember every time you see your beloved eagles soaring int he sky <3
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Maybe that did not come out right...I meant to remember the good when you see your eagles soaring above. ( ahh..... you probably figured that out) <3
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I knew what you meant, Yosey. It's appreciated.
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dustee
star and thank you.... :)
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Something we share, Sweeter, though we'd both rather not.
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Dodgy, I know of what you speak. Yours was a son, mine was a fiance. It took me a decade to recover, and I have never found another.
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oarkergreatdane
*sniff..*
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Sometimes it's like that, Medic. Just one. There's a lot of romantic drivel talked about it but when it's real as yours was there's no nonsense about it. I'm sorry.
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And, oarker, you asked a hell of a question. Everybody gets bad days but the worst of them are almost beyond our ability to cope. Hope you learned something from the answers.
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oarkergreatdane
Dodgy. It was a question that I've questioned myself so often. It's amazing how listening to everyone else's story to put things into perspective.
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Wow, Dodgy, I could never imagine if that was one of my daughters, I'm sure my life as I know it would end for me, my heart would be forever broken. We are so very close, we do everything together, it's not often that your children will allow you to be such a big part of their life after they leave home, I'm so very lucky and trust me, I do know it, no matter what they include me in, I never say no. My heart goes out to you, much love to you.
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Thanks, Kookie. It's a question that's brought a lot of revealing answers. Perhaps it's forced a lot of us to rethink those bad times and wonder if we might have handled it in some other way.
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I don't know how else to handle my son's death. It has slowed me down alot and I can't seem to find my way back again. Like you said you just gather some rocks and moss and try to make a road that will hold you up and sometimes a rock or brick wasn't placed just right and Hou fa and here comes the nightmares again you thought were gone and...just when you think you're going to make it you think ,"I'm tired I don't know if I can go on and I really don't thong I' be missed for thatong and life goes on, right but then I think that kind of thinking can't be right because it's never permanent and then I look at you Dodgy and all the difference you've made for all of us on here and I think "I can do this too , he did and is doing it, and maybe I don't have all fhe steps layed yet but at least I have a desire to lay them now." and so many people on here amaze me and make me laugh so much. Then when I laugh, I find I can make others laugh. I see so much pain trying to hide through the words of many of the answers and opinions given and then sometimes all the stars align jus right and a group finds each other at just the right time when everyone is doing well and the reading beats any comedic book I've ever read-there's good fine people on here and though we all have our bad times sometimes, we are a forgiving group and why? Because we've had to learn to forgive the others in our lives or else the pain is too much. When I haven't seensomeone on here for a bit, I usually know they're going through a rough latch bit they'll come back and we'll be waiting.
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That's a heartfelt -- and heart-rending -- post, Sin. Tragedy is a fact of life. We can't avoid it and we each cope with it in the way we're best equipped to do. But no matter how we cope, nothing ever quite takes away the sense of loss.

I'm not usually given to quoting royalty but a couple of years ago Queen Elizabeth (or one of her speech writers) said, "Grief is the price we must pay for love." It was a very wise comment.

If I had to choose between love coupled with grief, or an eternally sunny day when nothing ever goes wrong, but without love, I would take my chances with love.
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I won't intrude more than to tell you both that I read every word and appreciate so much that you are here.
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Thanks, T. You are also very much appreciated, probably far more than you realise.
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July 21st, 2006.
Too many wrongs too count, and I was left homeless and injured. Though the path it set me on, was the right one.I guess once you realize the mistakes you have made and the wrong you have done, it becomes easier to do the right thing.

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oarkergreatdane
Same here Bambino.
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I'm sorry, I got all caught up reading your reply on Country prides thread, please read my response to you there.
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The day I saw my husband on a respirator in a drug induced coma, and the nurse telling me there were no guarantees. Thankfully he got better and there was no changing paths. I do pay a bit more attention we he talks about our finances. While he was hospitalized I realized I had no clue what bills were paid or what was due, and I didn't have the passwords to most of the accounts. We now have a cheat sheet locked away.

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oarkergreatdane
I had no idea, Gator. I'm glad he got well.
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Me too!
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How are you?
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oarkergreatdane
If I give any answer about it, I get deleted. So my standard answer...doing fine. (Not)
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Praying for you. ((HUGS))
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oarkergreatdane
Back at cha! ((((((((;)))))))))
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Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot.
I'm so glad your husband is well now, it had to be very hard, I went through something similar in December, my husband was very ill, severe COPD, cardiomyopathy, we were told his lungs were too bad to do a cardiac cath, injection fraction was 30, if we face complications he would never make it through the surgery. Even the doctor I work for said it was too risky he could stroke. He had major pressure on the left side of his heart . So I thought, well, we can just sit here and let you die, or we can take a risk. We took the risk, two stents were placed, one 100% blocked the other 80%. He's now in cardiac rehab, he's not or will he ever be out of danger, but at least we have more time together.
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I can't imagine how scary that is. I wish you many happy years together.
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I had a tumor on my thyroid in my early 30's. They weren't sure if it was cancer. I had two small kids at home and I remember thinking "Who's going to love them as much as me and raise them the way I would". They took the tumor out and it wasn't cancer yet. That day and the days until it was out were the worst but it also taught me how precious every moment is with the ones I love. It sure gave me a new perspective on how I live my life so in the end it was a good thing.

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I'm glad it wasn't cancer.
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Me Too!!!!!!!
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oarkergreatdane
That's wicked awesome.
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Good for you Pitt!
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So glad everything's okay for you now.
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October 26, 2008. Mom had a heart attack. I wanted to die that moment the same time as hers. It was truly unbelievable. Like a waking nightmare you can't wake up from. The love of your life lost, in what seems like an eternity of dark, sad, empty space. Everything turns dark and surreal and just wish for all of it to end and for you to somehow wake up and for everything to be alright again. But it doesn't. I was 18 then. Still remember it like it was yesterday. I'd like to think it made me better as a person though, through her and her good deeds while she was alive, so will I live mine. She's my inspiration, she's my love, she's mom.

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I'll keep doing my best to be your mom here on Earth whenever you need me you know where I am.
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Thank you. Can you come here in The Philippines just for a hug? :)
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You know I will. Just sent you a note...look for it.
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won't be able to check it til later. am at work.. :) haha..
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oarkergreatdane
Your mom is still watching.
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You just put tears in my eyes, the love you have. I wish you the best.Peace.
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oh didn't mean to.. :) haha I'm fine now, more than fine. Thanks. you too with the best.
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So sorry, punkhazards. : [
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Sept. 23, 2003 was the day my wife passed away. We were about 5 years from a very early retirement and had everything planned out for our "time to relax" days. Needless to say, nothing has been the same since.

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I'm so sorry. And you would think 10 years would be long enough to see clearly again, but it isn't .
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oarkergreatdane
Aw, hippy. I'm so so sorry I really am
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Thank you both. One good thing was that she always wanted a convertible sports car and she bought one 3 years before she passed. She was like a little kid in that thing, you couldn't get the smile from her face. The car was silver in color and the local cops called her the Silver Streak. I have nothing but happy memories from "the good old days". You never know when life will kick you in the face, so I enjoy every day and don't let things bother me too much.
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Sorry Hippy.
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Thank you Bubblious.
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Ah Hippy, I'm becoming sad reading these answers. I'm very sorry for your loss.
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I can barely even try to imagine the sorrow you must feel...(
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I'm so sorry Hippy. She's always with you.
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Hippy I can't even imagine, my husband is going through a lot of health issues, it's really scary to think he could be taken away from us at anytime.
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That's the thing kookie, you just never know. Make some more good memories now and I hope your husband gets healthy for the next 50 years.
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Hippy, I know that will not happen, if I'm lucky enough to have him around for at least a few years I'm grateful, he's very ill. His heart is in bad shape, lungs about the same. Everyday is a blessing.
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That's so sad kookie, sorry. After falling ill and surviving for another 5 months, my wife worried more about me than herself. I'm sure that your husband feels the same.
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So sorry, hippy. : [
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Thank you mom.
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You're welcome.
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May 24, 2011 when we found my brother hanging from a tree after he had been released from rehab. It's a picture that never goes away, my family still struggles everyday after seeing this.

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Oh my, so sorry. That's something that no one should ever have to see. That IS a life changing event that rearranges your entire life.
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Sorry kookie.
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There are no words to say for something that devastating .
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It sure has changed everyone, I have five siblings, we have always been extremely close, now, it's like we're glue stuck together. We tried so very hard to help him get clean, but the pills had such a strong hold over him, we just could reach him in the dark place he was at.
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Sorry "couldn't reach him"
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dustee
love u always....
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I am so Kookie. I have had two friends who have committed suicide. I have learned sometimes no matter what you do, or what you say, there is nothing you can do.
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Your right Gator, sometimes it's just really hard to understand, he was so loved by all that knew him, I guess it's a loss we will never truly recover from. I still have night mares....
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That's a tough one, Kookie. So sorry.
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I'm so sorry :"~(
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oarkergreatdane
Aw, Kookie. I'm so sorry..
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I'm very sorry. I hope you always remember that he's always with you.
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The day the doctor told us that my husband had from 7-11 months to live. I lost him 10 months later. He was the only man I'd ever even dated. We started dating when I was fifteen and married one month after I turned seventeen. We did raise two wonderful sons together before he died on 2008. I'm thankful for that. However, life will never be the same without him. He was my one true love and I miss him every day.

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I am so sorry. The thought of losing my husband scares me.
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I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how it feels to lose a loved one, and my husband is ill also, I sure don't wanna loose him.
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I can understand that completely, Ravin, and you have my sympathy. I'm sorry to hear that. You obviously had a wonderful relationship with him.
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Rabin, I understand. I lost my fiance two days after I proposed. She died in a car accident in 1994. I remember nothing of the following 10 years, because I was in a deep depression. I've dated since, but no one can compare. It does get easier to function.
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Autocorrect: I wrote Ravin, honest.
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oarkergreatdane
All of these statements sure put things in perceptive for me.
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Thank you all for your kind words.
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Very sorry for your loss and for being so late with a comment. Losing a spouse is a devastating event that no one should have to endure, but we do. Keep the memories alive.
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Thank you Mr Wayne. I do have wonderful memories.
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I meant that ^^^to you Hippie. I'd just talked to Mr Wayne. Confusion comes sometimes with old age I guess. Lol Anyway, we've both loved and lost. I think we are better persons from it, but I sure wish it had turned out differently for the both of us. Sometimes, not all thankfully, life just really sucks.
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My wife's favorite saying was "life sucks, then you die".
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dustee

my son died...I dont care about life as much.

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Me too, Sweeter, though I won't mention that in my answer.
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No one should ever have to go through the loss of a child, you never ever recover!
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oarkergreatdane
I'm sorry D.
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dustee
cb...thank you
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I'm very sorry Dustee.
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