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Do you think this poems good?

Taking one look into the endless Wonderland
I take a deep breath and jump.
I swim for what seemed like days, weeks.
Squinting in the salty water, I see nothing,
nothing but dark waters around me.
Panic shoots me in the stomach and
pain strikes me in the chest.
But I keep going.


That's all I have so far its for a school project. Is Kt good?? How should I end it?

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boondox4l

I keep going and going till the world in front of me ends.
My path and road ahead of me may be dark but it has its bright sides.
through the wonder land i go. until i reach the end

i like you poem

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It's not bad.

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Pretty good, needs fine tuning

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Good

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No. Not good at all. It should give the reader a challenge to analyze it. Obviously you're talking about Dorothy whites new modded salisbury reading shops.

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I like it.

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I think it's good. Keep it up! :)

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It's ok, but it has no rhyme scheme, it's simply prose put into poetry format, here, try something like this.

yours:

Taking one look into the endless Wonderland
I take a deep breath and jump.
I swim for what seemed like days, weeks.
Squinting in the salty water, I see nothing,
nothing but dark waters around me.
Panic shoots me in the stomach and
pain strikes me in the chest.
But I keep going.


remix:

Taking one look into the endless Wonderland
I take a deep breath and jump
into the endless ocean land
I swim for what seemed like days, weeks.
until my arms are tired, and my strength is meek
And I see that nothing but dark waters, seems to surround me
panic shoots me in the stomach
pain strikes me in the chest
but I keep going, much to my body's protest
on and on, until my body wavers
slowing to a stop, my speed eventually tapers
until I come upon this island paradise
filled with everything, and all things nice
upon the horizon, I see a great sunset
keeping me warm, even though i'm all wet
and I realize that this swim, wasn't for nothing
for this sunset is a gem, it is truly something.

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Beautiful. I love it

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