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Should i tell my dad that i don't want to go to him without my mom?

My mom and dad had a fight, i mean they always fight about stupid stuff but this one is kinda big because they haven't been talking in like, weeks, or months. My dad always travels because of his work, usually when i have school holidays after exams we all (my mom, siblings and me) go to him for a visit and we enjoy it, we really do, all of us togther. But now, at this holiday he asked me, my twin brother and my youngest brother to come to him, without my mom, i assume because if their fight. He would provide everything for us but my youngest brother didn't want to go to him without my mom so he said no. My twin brother and i said yes. But thinking about it now, i don't want to go without my mom, i want all of us to go togther, just be togther. I regret my decision so much, but i don't want to tell him that i changed my mind, yes i am scared, i am scared that he might be mad at me or that he might think this is my mom plan ( which isn't! ). The other thing is that he has another wife and i am scared that she might be there, i don't to see my step-sister, and my aunts might be there too! I hate my aunts, they always critisize me, the worst thing is that i can't tell my dad about it because i am scared, i am such a coward and it makes me hate myself, so much! I miss my dad, i want to visit him but i want my mom to come too! Their fight really shook me, What if they divorce??! i don't want that, i really don't, I'm freaking out here because i have to call him today because he told me to plan a day were we would come and i have to reply to him today to talk about the arrangments. My mom doesn't want me to go and i don't either, but i'm scared of what he will say, my mom told me to tell him (since he won't talk to her, she even apologized to him many times but he won't even budge) that she wants to come with us ( I want her to! ) but for some reason i am scared of doing so. i don't no why, i just dont want to call him and tell him but i have to because he told ME to call him. I know this is long and i am really sorry, but this is the only place where i can tell my deepest problems, i can't tell my friends, siblings and certainly not my mom. What should i do?!

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Hi wanted....You have not said how old you are. First of all your Father should not be putting this kind of pressure on you...and I am not understanding a couple of things....if your dad travels, I get that. But, why do you "go to him for a visit"? Does your Mom and Dad not live together? And, how does he have another "wife" if he is married to your Mother and you are worried about the two of them getting a divorce? I HATE that you are being put into this situation, but you are not going to solve this on your own. Sometimes "grownup" problems filter into a kids life and it shouldn't. Do you have a school counselor that you can talk to? I know you have written quite a bit, but I, for one cannot tell you what decision to make, as I don't know what the situation is....and why the continuous fighting is going on. Your parents have got some serious issues, making it a not so great place for you right now.....hang in there.

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I am 15 years old and i am a female. We sometime like to visit my dad on holidays because he cant come to us because of his work, My dad is married to another woman beside my mom, and he spends all his time with her, i mean he does spend time with us and i cherish every moment of it. their fight is really long and i dont know how to write it down.
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I understand. It sounds like it is your parents are the ones with the problems, and it is draining down on you and your siblings. It is sad. I don't even know how to tell you what to do. If you want to stay with your mother, tell your father that. Sorry, I don't have much respect for a man with two wifes at the same time....there are laws against that.
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Hey. I'm so sorry that you're being put under this kind of pressure. Maybe you can explain to your father that it isn him, it's the other people of the family that you don't like. (Like step mom and aunts.) may I ask why he has 2 wives? That seems a wee bit odd to me.

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I don't know, i never asked him, i guess i am used to it and thought it was normal. Does having two wives is really odd?? i know lots- well.. few actually that have..umm
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If he has 2 marriage licenses, then it's illegal, assuming you live in the United States. And it just seems like your mom would get jealous of his other wife.
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(Also, I'll be headed off to school soon, but I'll be back on later)
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Something is not right with your dad. It is illegal to have 2 wives. That is called bigamy.He should not have put you and your siblings in a situation to chose between him and your mom. Grown-ups should know better than to put children in this awkward position.My advice is to come clean with your dad about the position he's put you in. You don't seem to want to go and I can't blame you. How awkward.Tell him you don't feel comfortable about being put in the middle so you have chosen not to go.

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I don't really know, its okay here to have more than one wife according to our religion, i know few people that do, i just didn't realize it was odd...
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Have your mom handle it, she can explain. He should visit you instead of packing up the whole group. Sounds like he lives with his other family and visits with you? If you don't feel comfortable with his family that wouldn't be unusual. Good luck !

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I agree with many of the other answers. Your parents have placed you in a position no kid should be in. Your mom should tell your dad that you don't like this in general, that you refuse to accept this change in the visiting arrangement specifically and that you don't want to go. Don't be afraid to tell your dad yourself. And that it is unfair to place a kid in this position. Lastly, if your dad does in fact have two wives, this is illegal. You can not be forced to cooperate in an illegal arrangement. You can ask for help from the police in your state.

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It's time you learn that you don't need your Mom around you all the time. It's not permanent. It's only for a week or so. Your Dad has remarried, so there is no chance of your parents getting back together. There is nothing to be gained by having them spend time together. Are you feeling guilty that you might enjoy spending time with your Dad, without your Mom? You don't feel guilty spending time with your Mom, without your Dad, do you? I think you should show your Dad some kindness.

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