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1467803

Ok. this is a question for adults/ older teens.

Ok. I have a friend that is in high school. she is involved with something that isn't good for her....but it isn't hurting her physically. she needs to stop. What should I do, tell her parents? even after I said I wouldn't? No harsh answers please I'm really stressed about it.

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Hi, PrettyLady. I would sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart talk with her and point out the ways this is hurting her and the consequences that can come of it. Tell her you're only telling her this because you love her, want the best for her and are terribly worried about her. Tell her she may not be able to see it, but you can see what's going to come of it. It's impossible to say to tell her parents without knowing the specifics. It'd have to be very serious to make me do that. But it's evidently something you feel very strongly about and it's evident that you're a very dear and wonderful friend. There comes a time we have to go with our gut. Try the heart-to-heart and then you may have to just be there when the pieces fall if it's not something endangering her life.

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1467803
this actually helped a lot. I'm so stressed. if I finally told her folks, I would feel disloyal. :(
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I'm so glad it helped, honey. I can understand totally about being disloyal. I feel so sorry for you about being put in this situation. I'll be praying for you & your friend (I hope you don't mind) that things will get better and will straighten out.) You're a wonderful, true friend.
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1467803
thank you so much. I have been praying too.
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Where two or three are gathered...
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If its not hurting her physically, then it must be emotionally or mentally. The best thing to do is be there for her and talk to her.

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1467803
Well she is evolved with something that isn't good.
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Ok sorry I'm not an older teen but I think first you should try to reason with your friend. Then you should tell her that if she doesn't stop you will tell her parents because you want what is best for her. Hopefully that will help her without hurting your friendship. Sorry that's all I can tell you

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Well you cant tell the parents because you said you wouldnt so just try talking to her

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DukeCityMuscle
She can tell the parents. The promise to be a good friend and keep her friend from getting hurt takes priority over the promise not to tell.
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DukeCityMuscle

Tell your friend to her face that it looks to you like what she's doing is messing her up and you want her to trust you as a friend that she needs to get out. Think about how far you're willing to go for your friend's safety and well-being. Would you be willing to break your promise and tell her parents if it would prevent her from getting hurt? One of the hardest less ons of growing up is learning that sometimes to protect people we care about we have to stop them from harming themselves. That can mean walking away from it all or getting a parent to intervene. No guarantees in life for a happy ending.

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let me guess drugs.. well tell an adult in reality

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Uh, not to be too smart-alecky here, but more details could really be of help. What exactly is your friend doing...Not coming to complete stops at stop signs when she is driving? Drugs? Involvement in a cult with questionable dogmas?

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1467803
she is evolved with a guy much older than she is that she isn't suppose to. legal reasons even.
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Hmmm.
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1467803
? what so u think about this.
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How old is your friend and how old is the man?
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1467803
she is fifteen and he is like nineteen. her parents caught her once and now she talks to him secretly.
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mplsstreetrwy

Stay out of it. You can't control your friend. Neither can her parents or anyone else for that matter. All you can do is be there for her and listen, offering suggestions only when and if she asks. I now return you to your life, which of course, you can control and improve.

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Tell her parents. Period. If its bothering you, that's you friend sense burning. She may be mad at you but it's the right thing to do.

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You must never betray a trust. You tell nobody. Let this work itself out.

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1467803
but it won't. it gets worse every day.
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Well, as you tell no one and the situation gets worse, all u can do is hope she doesn't do anything extreme. False. Tell someone.
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1467803
Ok, tanner. I may just so that. but it won't be easy at all. :(
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