9 months ago
Last edited at 7:26PM on 3/26/2013
A man sat quietly reading his paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand. Man: "What was that for?" Wife: "Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy" written on it?" Man: "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of the horse I bet on." The wife was satisfied, and apologized for bonking him. Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again he is bonked on the head. Man: "What's that for this time?" Wife: "Your horse called."
(I called it in to a radio station contest and won trip to Vegas!!)
There was a kid walking down the street when he went by Michael Jackson's house he invited the kid in. The kid came in. Micheal Jackson asked if he wanted to see some magic. The kid said "Yes." So Micheal Jackson told the kid to sit on his lap. When he did Michael Jackson asked him if he felt his finger in his butt. The kid said "Yes". Then Michael Jackson said "Look no hands."
an elephant has a horse fly on his back that he can not remove with his tail. a robin sees his troubles and flys down to snap the fly up. the elephant asks ''how can i ever repay you.'' the bird says ''i always wanted to see what it was like to f*** an elephant. so they start and a monkey in the tree nearby starts Master****** and knocks a coconut off the tree and it hits the elephants head. the elephant says ''OHH"" and the birds says""am i hurting." another one goes a friends car breaks down and he walks to his friends house then they realize they only have a bed no other furniture so they all go to sleep. the wife of the friend who lives in the house asks the man who had the car if they wanted to f*** he asks even with you husband right here. she said to pull a A** hair and he wouldnt wake. so he does then they start. later they do it again and again and again. then at around the 17th time he wakes up and says i dont care just dont use my a** as a score board.