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How do I trust my mom again after being hurt from her over and over?

Im 15 My mom is a drug user. so she gets very abusive. but I tried to talk to her about hurting me, but she just showed that she doesn't care. it really hurts me to see my mom like this, and I was sick and tired of getting hurt. So one morning when she went and hit me again, I gave up and I turned her in. for every thing, we had no water and no electric at home so we were forced to jump around looking for a place to eat and to shower. I would get beat up constantly for no reason, I've been abuse physically and verbally... it's been 1 year since I turned her in. and now she's apologizing to me and asking to court for visitations with me. But I'm scared. I just don't know what to do!

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Sweetie, I'm 32 years old, and had a similar childhood to you. I wish that I could tell you it gets easier, but in all honesty it doesn't. Are you in foster care right now? If you are, do you trust your foster parents enough to talk to them about this? What you are feeling now, is completely normal. And people are going to answer this question, that have no experience with it, so please listen to what I'm saying. You HAVE to talk to someone. Someone you trust. Someone you know won't lie to you about it. If your mother is trying to get visitation, do you want to see her? If you do, then give her another chance, just be very wary. Abusive people usually do not change. They may pretend to change, to "play the system", or pretend to change because they have to. But that abusive mentality is STILL there. If you don't want to see your mom, there is NOTHING wrong with that. You do, what you think you need to do, for yourself. NOT HER! But please, talk to SOMEONE.

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Perfect advice..
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I completely agree.
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Just visit her but it puzzles me that the rest of your family has let that go so bad and not help

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make sure someone is there when you visit her then you will feel same and she can see you at the same time

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I think you have been through a lot . I feel your pain I know what abuse is like . It's really up to if you want to see your mom . It doesn't matter how many times she says she is sorry . If your ready to see her then do it . If your not I would recommend waiting . If you do end up visiting her I would recommend taking someone that is close with you along that way your a bit safer and you feel a bit more safe . good luck .

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Great advice.
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Thanks (:
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Liston i promise your not the only one my father was a addict for years prison more then 6 years of my life abused my mom me my brother and mom went rock bottom soups everyday hungry the next Liston all you can do it try to give her a chance if she truly wants to try giver her that opportunity it will make all the difference i wish i had that opportunity

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Sorry you had to go through all of that. Sounds like you went through things no one should have to go through.
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it truly did but it has made me into the man i am today a hard working father i will never let my family go through what i have gone through my daughter will have everything i did not
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past is the past but u her love and she loves u
, u will help her cuz u care but in life things are like a puzzle if take
Ur time things will happen wish u good luck and may help u and ur mum

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Frist step is to forgive her for hurting you over the years. Pray for her that God reaches out and grab hold of her life and that he make her a better person & mother

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Well first I say good for you for doing the right thing to protect yourself and forcing your mother to hopefully get the help she needs, for her sake and yours.. I was where you are 20 something yrs ago except my mother lost me and my brothers by being sent to prison for drug and alcohol addiction and the violence that followed. As far as her saying she is sorry and asking for visitation, we as human beings have to know and practice the power of forgiveness! The hold that drugs have on the ones that we love controls them in such a way that its not even that person we know and love. Try to be understanding but at the same time keep your space. Your safety and comfort comes first,let her know you love her and you will be there for her even if that means only by phone, prayer or thoughts... I know it should be the other way around but sometimes( like I had to) you have help take care of the people that should be taking care of us. God bless. If you need further talks about this painful situation let me know!!

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i think u should give her one more chance hun.. i know it hurts cause i was in the same thing ur in.. like when i was age 1 threw 10 my mom was in and out of jail for drugs and she was very addicted and she would always beat me with alot of painfull things like courds sticks hangers her hands and i started becomin deppressed so i did what was best that i thought... so when i was 11 when i went to go vist her i told her how i felt about everything and about how i felt and i told her if she did drugs one more time she will never see me again.. and she promised me she will stop and now im 15 and she been clean and this is the closest ive been to her so give yr mama one more chance :-) good luck sweetie ur new friend lydia

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I totally agree with what Cjkenkel said. When I was a child my mother was a drug addict/alcoholic/sex addict. Why she had children I will never know. Her way of communicating with me was by hitting me with whatever she could get her hands on. She often brought home strange men and you can imagine the consequences of that. Without getting too graphic let's just say that my mother was very indifferent to me and my well-being. I wish I'd have had the courage to do what you did. You already know the answer to your question. Trust your gut instinct. If your mother truly wants to get better, she will,regardless of how you respond to her requests. If down the road you feel like you want to see her, that is YOUR decision to make, nobody else's. You don't owe her anything. As hard as it is to accept, sometimes it's not in our best interest to try to maintain a relationship with someone, even if it's your mom and even if you love her. Stay strong, sweetie. Good luck.

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I would give her one more chance. But maybe when you visit with her, take someone you trust with you, to help you feel safe and keep her in line. Take care.

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