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FL12

BF texted another girl, he confessed it to me and said it would never happen again, should I believe him and/or trust him again?

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There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend texting another girl! Unless he was texting sexuaI things to her, you need to work on your trust and self confidence issues.

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Phlorence_602
Star ninja
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Thanks :)
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...l
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FL12
well he text her, she is in a different state, and she said she didn't have a BF anymore and he wrote back to her, well maybe I should come visit since you don't have a BF anymore... - she never responded.
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FL12
I don't have self confidence issues, but I am also not going to let a guy walk all over me... I think I can trust him, but was just looking to see if anyone had the same issue and how they dealt with it.
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Oh yeah, that's definitely not good. Sorry, your question made it sound like he just texted a girl. Tell him he lost your trust for now, and keep an eye out on him. He texted a girl in another state, so he was just flirting. But yeah, let him know that's not ok!
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FL12
oh I did... and he was like i am sorry, you don't deserve this, I don;t know what I was thinking when I texted her, I was in a mood that day.... and he said "I don't want to lose you over this" he ever suggested that I put his cel on my plan, just to prove to me that it would never happen again... - I mean I feel like I can trust him, but there is always that little person my shoulder nagging at me.. about trust...
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ok so how is that meant for you? he is saying that YOU dont have a boyfriend but u do.. so obviously tht text was meant for that girl and you should dump him
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I think that's your choice FL12. You know that he could potentially be unfaithful in the future...
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FL12
No that is what he told me in person, when he confessed that he text someone else...

and he said to me that he sorry, and that I don't deserve this, I don;t know what I was thinking when I texted her, I was in a mood that day.... and he said "I don't want to lose you over this" he ever suggested that I put his cel on my plan, just to prove to me that it would never happen again...
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FL12
Should I mention it to him that this is still bothering me.... or leave it be for now and monitor his texts?
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To be honest, words are just words. What good are his words if his actions speak otherwise? I don't see the point in mentioning it again, if he has already apologized. It's up to you to break up with him, talk to him more, or just watch him.
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FL12
YEs actions speak louder than words, so for now I will watch him... if he does it again... it is GAME OVER
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If all he done was texted her than dont worry.

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FL12
Thanks, the girl is in another state, but just a principle I guess of it all... it he wants more attention, I will give it to him
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You're welcome! :) Don't worry. If he confessed then that means he loves you more than her anyway. He isn't a cheater if he confessed.
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I have a 3 strike rule. If he texted a girl flirting with her, than thats strike one, if it was just a friend, id let it slide

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FL12
it was a flirting text - my plan is to move on.... get forgive, but I will never forget... I will continue to check his phone, because now - I have no choice in the matter, and he doesn't hide is phone, so that is a good sign that he has nothing to hide. but if I ever find another flirting text to a girl... it is GAME OVER,, so now not only can't I trust him, he lied to me too....
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Has he ever done anything like this in the past? Who was the girl?

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FL12
never done it in the past... she she is a girl from his past she lives in another state, I would guess that he has slept with her in the past... but not 100% sure about that...
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Was it a sexually explicit text? Or friendly?
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That depends on what the text said.

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Phlorence_602
My thought exactly lol.
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lol... I mean that kind if determines whether or not she should even be worried.
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Phlorence_602
Yup! Haha
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I love your profile picture Phlo!! haha!
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Phlorence_602
Haha, he finally admitted he loves me, see?
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haha! I see! He didn't tell you he loves me too though...sorry to break the news. lol
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Phlorence_602
He said the same to you?!?!
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lol, yep!
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FL12
it was a flirting text, but the girl is in another state.
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If she was in his state, do you think he would resist speaking to her face-to-face? I mean he told you about it, but he still seems untrustworthy.
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FL12
I may just have to confront him about it again... and let him know that this is still bothering me... and that now he really has to gain that trust back.... what do you think? should I mention it again to him?
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FL12
he did say sorry, and that he doesn't want to lose me over it and that I don't deserve to be treated like that... he said it would never happen again... and that I can trust him. I just don't know...and it is killing me on what to do next? should I just keep an eye on his phone, I mean he doesn't hide it or lock it... so its always just right there out in the open... so seems he isn't hiding anything .... what should I do??
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Absolutely, tell him how you feel. I would just keep an eye out.
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Talk to him first. Most guys do lick their phone when they're hiding something. So that's a good sign that he doesn't. Perhaps he was genuinely honest with his apology. Just don't let your guard down but try not to let it get to you.
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FL12
oh my eyes are open... I have checked his phone since this happened and nothing... but I am not that stupid to know that he could easily delete messages... so I go more by how he is acting... he will act different if he is guilty about something and that will tell me something is up.
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*hide, not lick...haha
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FL12
Thank you, that is what I thought, if he was doing something that wrong... he would have that phone on his hip all the time and locked down... but he always just drops it down and goes on with his night, the phone is just sitting there.. so I do believe he was genuine and does know he did wrong... this is the first time, he has ever done this... and he did confess, which I thought was good... cause it obviouly bothered him to do that to me.
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Exactly. I would forgive him but make it clear that it can NEVER happen again. Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
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If this was only the first time, then I would forgive him and trust him to make the right decisions. If it happens again or has already happened before then you're going to need to talk to him about this.

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FL12
Has never happened before, he said he was sorry - and that he doesn't want to lose me over this... and that I don't deserve to be treated that way.. so he def. know he did wrong...he even suggested that I put his cel phone on my plan it that would make me feel better about it...
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That's so nice, keep him around. We need more males like him.
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Well if he was honest with you then I would give him another chance. If you had to confront him, it could be a sign if things to come. How old are you?

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FL12
Yes he was honest with me,I never mentioned it to him,, he just out of the blue, said I have a confession - I text a girl today, I was having a weird day and did it, it was harmless flirting - and would never happen again, he said he doesn't want to lose me over it and that I don't deserve to be treated that way... and he said I really care about you, and I am truely sorry and you can trust me.
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don't trust him ever again

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well said
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FL12
well that is the big question.. she is in another state.. he didn't nothing with her, cause he is here with me... do guys just like the attention of other women for their egos?
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That's exactly what they like.
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FL12
Why is it so hard to get it from one girl?
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I have no idea. :(
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FL12
crazy guys..thanks for the comments
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ninja_jan_san dont get smart with her she is probably in bad pain. and did he do enything with her.

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It's a little something I like to call honesty.
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FL12
No she is in another state.
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Oh Im sure he will text her or any other girl again. He'll be more smarter next time. I wouldn't keep bringing it up to him.whatever he's doing will eventually come out. So don't sweat it!!! Text a guy and see if he likes the feeling

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FL12
yeah you know what they say /// pay back is a _____
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Lol men can't take it when its done to them
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FL12
yeah, they can dish it, but can't take it..
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FL12
he knows he did wrong, so if he does it again, the writting will be on the wall, because he will feel guilty... one good thing is he did confess to me, I didn't have to confront him, so obviously it did bother him that he text someone else, if he was willing to come clean and tell me it wouldn't happen again.
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FunnyLittleFrog

It's ok for him to text another girl. He'll resent it if he feels imprisoned by you...eventually.

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FL12
its ok for my BF to be flirting with another girl? If it was an innocent text, It wouldn't have bothered me.-- Mind you she is out of state, so nothing would come of it, but still?
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Theres nothing wrong with him txtng other girls. The only time you should trip is when hes flirting with them or sending them winky faces. If hes just talking to her just as freinds dont worry about it. It will just be unecessary stress on you. Give him freedom thats what builds up trust.

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FL12
well it wasn't an innocent text, they were talking .. she told him she doesn't have a BF anymore (mind you she is out of state ).. he text her back maybe I should come to __ and see you since you are single now? so it wasn't just a innocent hello text
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damn. Then i just think you should talk to him about it.. do you know the chick he was talking to ? If you have a problem with her tell him and let him know making him choose whos more important you or her. Does the other chick know hes taken.? are they like close or something ?
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FL12
She is in another state.. far away.... I have talked to him..... well actually I didn't bring it up... he confessed to me... he said I am not sure what I was thinking texting her today.. I am sorry, and I don't want to lose you over this... and he told me it would never happen again, and he knows I do not deserve to be treated like this... so I know he knows he did wrong. And he admitted it, said it would never happen again... and he doesn't want to lose me over this... I have checked his phone since... ( as he doesn't hide it.. he leaves it right in the open ) and no more texts ...
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thats good. Let him know how you feel and be happy he told you the truth. i wish you the best.
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HelpfulTeen

The fact that he admitted to it and is sorry and wants to make sure it never happens again is a good sign. But you should still be keeping an eye on things just in case.

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When a woman is able to grow and mature to a point where she is no longer a slave to her own worries, insecurities and fears, then she can finally look past her own wants/desires/fears and see the man?s.

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FL12
in a perfect world yes, but this is not a perfect world.
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Not the point is to be able to confident in who you are and love you first
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