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What do i do if my daughter comes to me telling me about a big scary man that visits her at night time? what does it mean?!

my 4 year old daughter came to me telling me about this big scary man.. she couldnt tell me what he looked like only that he visits her.. more than once i had heard her screaming " dont hurt my doggy( stuffed animal she sleeps with) and i went in and asked her whos hurting her doggy and she said this big scary guy said he was gunna hurt my doggy, i asked where he was and she said its ok hes gone now but he said he would be back..? theres more stories with the big scary man.. shes told 1 story to everyone about this guy who scares her and visits her. its very disturbing.. i dont know if its something her father had told her or if somethings going on that i dont know about what does this mean? and what do i do?!

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Oh, my. Maybe you should talk to a professional about this. She's four and could have an overactive imagination, but she could be telling the truth. Have you ever had any evidence of this man? Also, talk to her father and ask if he has told her ANYTHING. Maybe set up cameras and have a baby monitor. That might help.

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sit down and ask your child. Place a night light in her room.

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she sleeps in my room with me
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Well put a night light in your room
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Let her sleep with you for a couple of nights.

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FunnyLittleFrog

She's having nightmares, comfort her and tell her it's just a dream. Maybe get a nightlight.

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she sleeps like a rock at night, it happens right before she goes to bed. she will be getting ready for bed, id read her a story give her a kiss go out in the living room and not 10 minutes later she screams and says the most disturbing things out of random.. and when i question her about it i get this look thats uneasy and she rolls over says nothing the rest of the night been happening since she was 2
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chersak

That is SO disturbing. Sleep with her a couple nights and see how her nightmares start. Definitely ask her about it, and ask her father too.

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stephenmathews

Get a camera/nanny cam and sneak it in her room and then watch the footage. It could been a dream because my parents said when I was little I would say stuff when im asleep. It could also be a demon. Tell your daughter to describe the Man.

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she just says a dark man stands by her bed. she use to be in the next room but shes in my room now, and it was out of random when she was getting ready for bed she started screaming i go in the bedroom and she said exact words "hes not happy that your in this room with me"... im like who and she said nothing after that..
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stephenmathews
probably a demon
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how do i find out
? do they show on camera?
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Let her sleep with you a few nights I guess it will make her not scared

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bentheredunthat

She's probably having terrible nightmares. Very common at that age. One scary TV show, or someone she saw on the street, & the memory sticks in her mind like glue. The other thought, which is very serious, could there actually be a man bothering her, threatening to take her stuffed animal or something else she loves? A neighbor? Someone at a nursery school? Hopefully not, but it's worth mentioning.

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is there ever an opportunity for her to be with a man? I mean maybe at preschool or a neighbors house or a relative? my daughters are four too and it would disturb me but they talk like they are teenagers so God forbid somebody ever hurt them they'd tell me.

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shes with me most of the time.. she would see her father every other weekend but that stopped over 3 weeks ago..bc she dint wanna go anywhere she wanted to stay and play outside at my house
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don't you think there is a reason she didn't want to go
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bentheredunthat
Agree. Something doesn't sound right, her not wanting to spend time with her dad. Not that he has done something wrong, but there may be someone in his circle who is bothering her & her dad is not aware.
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bentheredunthat
(Child predators often use threats as leverage to silence kids. This case, taking her favorite toy. We forget as adults how much children depend on things like simple stuffed toys for comfort & security. Rattle that & a child will do almost anything to stop it, sadly. Talk to her dad. He might actually have a very simple explanation. Hope so.)
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her father wouldnt tell me anything.. we cant go 4 minutes without arguing.. so we made the idea of just not speaking..
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bentheredunthat
Totally understand. Reardless, try to briefly put aside your resentments toward each other & put your daughter first. For five minutes focus on her instead of each other as a struggling or failed couple. This is exactly how very bad things can happen to kids. Parents become so wrapped up in their fights w/ each other they unintentionally miss or underestimate problems going on w/ their children. Many bad things can happen to kids in a very short time when parents are distracted.
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Shes having a nightmare. She should sleep with you

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she does sleep with me.. and they arnt nightmares because this happens every few weeks, right before she goes to bed
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oh then maybe she's imagining something, but take her to a specialist tho. good luck!
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Have you ever thought that it could possible be her father? I'm not saying it is but could it be

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i hope not... should i consult a professional and find out if hes doing anything?
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Well I think that maybe you should consult a councilor? Or maybe get a camera and not tell your husband about it to see if it is him?
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me and her father arnt together...
and im thinking of doing that
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Oh I'm sorry I didn't know and you should definitely do that It could be the case
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=/ im gunna be very upset if hes the cause of all this..
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Night Terrors, used to get those a lot, if she has ever heard anything about the boogey man or Freddy Krueger, this is probably the result. Young children often experience incredibly vivid and disturbing nightmares. Put a night light in her room, leave a light on in the hallway and her door open, and even offer for her to stay in your room for the night if need be.

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That is very concerning and disturbing. It could stem from a range of things but most common I would assume is she's either having night terrors while being asleep, or there is actually someone visiting her at night while she's alone and vulnerable and more than likely he is not in human form but yet is a spirit and from the sound of it, not a very nice one. Children are very susceptible to being in tune with the spirit world just as animals are. I definitely agree with what someone else posted about setting up a nanny cam in her room to capture what exactly is occurring while she is alone. It could give you alot of insight as to the cause of what's been bothering her.

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yeah im thinking thats a good idea, but she sleeps in my room with me and the most recent one happened tonight, she got in her jammies made her bed i was getting her brothers bottle together and she just started screaming so i went in and in the most coldest face she said "he doesnt like you being in here" and i said who? and she just gave this odd look turned over and said nothing after that...
her scream was so loud and weirrd it startled my son and he started crying.
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A dis-embodied spirit is visiting her? You've got to be kidding.
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i actually wished i was kidding but no im not
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That it definitely very odd and creepy. Children do have vivid imaginations at a young age but something is telling me that she is definitely not imagining thing's because of how you described her reactions are to what she sees and hears. I truly do think it's the spirit of a bad man who finds enjoyment in a sick way of taunting and harassing her. I have always been a believer in the paranormal and especially after having encountered my own experiences in life. My husband and I have caught many voices of the deceased on recording. It would shock you to hear what some of them have said. Some were children who have said in a sad voice "can you help me, I wanna go home." Another I have on recording captured in our bedroom was a man who spoke in a scary tone and said vulger thing's pertaining to me. If it is a spirit of a man who's bothering her, I seriously think the only way to try to get it to stop is explain to her that she needs to tell him to "go" and that he scares her and she doesn't want him visiting her anymore. I would definitely continue to keep her safe with you in your room at night as you do. I can't imagine how terrifying it must be especially at 4 year's old to encounter the things she has. I truly hope everything will turn out well for you all and it stops occurring so you can have peaceful night's.
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yeah its really creepy. ill give it a try and see if anything changes.. its been going on since she was 2
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Since she was 2? You were right to ask about this. I honestly don't think she's imagining anything. I really hope everything clears up for you guys.
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yeah its been getting worse. and worse. i mean nwo shes not even getting up at night to go to the bathroom shes wetting the bed every night! and shes been potty trained fully since she was 2
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Oh, my. That's really scary. My only advice: PLEASE PLEASE talk to her father and a psychologist or something to work this out. I'm so sorry.
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her father wont talk to me about anything because i pressed charges on him after he broke my jaw in 3 places hes hated me ever since. even tried getting my daughter to hate me saying i was a bad person to her, telling her that i hated her or that im gunna send her away stuff like that.. and i quickly put that to a hault by stopping the visits to him.. but im seeking a child psychologist to see about some answers
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Wow... I honestly don't know what to say to that. I hope you find a good psychologist to help.
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pore kid, i know its not easy for her and i feel bad that i cant stop what ever is going on, because i have no idea what it is :( makes me feel like im failing her..
that little girl is my life! i hate seeing her like this.
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I'm so sorry about this. I really do wish you the best and I hope that she's okay.
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thanks for all ur help! and i appreciate it alot really i do! u guys are all wonderful with really helpful ideas, at first i was in such a panic attack, and upset i dint know what to do. so thank u so much!
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I've heard this from adult women that have been sexually abused as children and do not know how to express (or repress) what has happened. Let's just hope this is not the case - but you may want a doctor and psychologist to examine her - for signs of abuse. Who has access to her when she is alone? Given that this is hopefully an over reaction - the fact that the dreams repeat and terrify her is of concern - you may still need to have her interviewed by a child psychologist. Let's just hope this can be attributed to some scary movie she saw or something similar.

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I think you should take her to talk to a child psychologist specializing in abused children and start thinking about men she could be coming into contact with - like at school or sunday school or a relative or a family friend or aquaintance or someone in the neighborhood. Someone has scared her, whether it is/was sexual i dont know. Signs to look for: Regression to infantile behaviors, increased fear issues both to specific areas or instances and just general fear, increased sexual behavior esp with dolls or pets or friends, increased unusual aggression, sudden repetitive behaviors, change in sleep habits including sleep terrors. I like Lovvies baby monitor idea. Better yet get a nanny cam without telling ANYONE and hide it so you can record her bed. i expect the problem is occuring somewhere besides your home but should you record something of interest take it to the police dont try to take care of it yourself.

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hey = ] this sounds like shes being abused its very serious poor kid....
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how are you aux.....
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Oh, pretty good.
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I would seriously consider seeing a professional.Or try staying a night or two at a hotel with your daughter to see if she sees the "man" there.If you cant do that,then set up cameras and put locks on her window.She might have a big imagination,or it might just be real,you can never be to careful.Hope this helps?

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DEFINITELY consult a professional

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australis

I'm with Lovvie and and cerebrogasm.This isn't sth you can just dismiss as nightmares.Many of us have had scary experiences as children,a shadow coming to life,a monster in the closet,the boogey man etc however,rarely does a child say a big scary man I would pay more attention and get to the bottom of this right away.May I ask why you said her father could have said sth to her?How did you mean that?Is there a problem with him for you to express such concerns?Would he harm your daughter?

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this is serious it sounds like shes being abused....little kids and drunks have a habbit of telling the truth .......
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australis
that's exactly what they say in my culture.from a drunk and a kid .......I don't know but i really think it could be serious
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actually to be completely honest, her father and i sperated a few years ago because he broke my jaw in 3 places, and beat me up pretty bad and a few other things i rather not say on line.. we did go to court about this and the court found no reason why he couldnt see her because he hasnt done anything to her... but when she gets back she doesnt have bruises or cuts or anything.. so idk.. but sometimes she comes home and tells me that her father had told her i was a bad mom that hes the only one who loves her and such. ive never laid a hand on my daughter in any way shape or form, not even when she gets in trouble.. i put her in time out.. another concern i have is that she was fully potty trained at 2.. and ever since her father has been getting her every other weekend. shes constantly wetting the bed.. so i stopped letting her go over there... but she still comes to me or ive heard her screaming about a big scary guy.. shes said the weirdest things to me out of random like one night i was getting her brothers bottle ready i come into the room cuz she was screaming and she said with this like cold look on her face he doesnt like it when your in the room with me mommy, then within minutes shes fine.. as she normally is.. completely weird.. and its been happening even without her seeing her father..
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thats scary i can only imagine the pain and suffering shes going through its obvious that her dad is not ble you should fight it stop his visitation rights...take your daughter to a therapist then go to court
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stable
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australis
hawk is right.it is so sad when u see children suffer that way just because we the adults who are suppossed to protect them art so messed up that we end up hurting the innocent kids.I'm so sorry you had to go through so much pain at the hands of your ex but I believe you have a good chance this time to fight him in court and block his visitation rights.Firstly,u need to go see a doctor and tell him everything so he can give u a referal for your little angel.it will help you in court if you have a report from a doctor and psychologist.Go prepared,ask help from friends and relatives get all the help u can.and all the witnesses u can.Clearly someone is doing sth to your little girl and it is very disturbing,just because she has no cuts and bruises doesn't mean he isn't abusing her.There are all kinds of abuse such as psychological abuse not just physical.Thank u for getting back to me and if it's no intrusion let me know how u are doing and what u think u should do.Take care of you and your little girl
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im fine, my daughter has been attached to me since yesterday ive tried talking to her she just wont talk so i dint push it.. got her in for next week for a psychologist who deals with children.. i just hope we can finally get answers.. and fix the problem! thanks for all ur help. u guys dont know how much it means to me.. i was freaking out and dint know what to do.. but ur guys advice really helped me.. and gained my confidence to help my little one. so thank u i appreciate it
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australis
your welcome and good luck with everything.
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Talk to her and tell her not to be afraid. Maybe you can put a video camera in her room at night to see if this "scary man" is a spirit, or just her imagination. Children are more prone to see spirits though, so anything is possible.

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do spirits show on camera?
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Yes. Or a shadow will. You might not be able to see it, though. Children are innocent. That's why them can see them. I was able to see my mom when she died when I was 6.
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don't let your child sleep alone till gets 12 years old ,and don't let her watch scary movie and cartoons or reading scary books and never lie to her to get things better.make her be so busy with children toys, drawings ..etc that helps her to forget the scary man.

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It can be paranormal activity. You may think kids make up stuff but sometimes you have to believe what they see because little kids do have the power to see spirits .

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