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what's a girl to do?

explain to me how my boyfriend says we aren't together but yet we still share a bed, still hold me at night, calls me "baby" and still refers to me as his girl?

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He's got issues leave the premises.

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U r so funny. Lol.
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ibepwning

If I were in a similar situation I would take my partner and ask them what they mean. If they considered that we weren't together anymore, I would no longer want to even look at their face let alone share the same bed with them.

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Maybe you guys are slowly drifting apart. Maybe You guys are losing interest for each other. That's all I can think of on why he says that.

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Dump him. He is using you.

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maybe that's his way of playing the field

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Sounds like he just want to keep you as a friend with benefit.

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FunnyLittleFrog

That sounds looney.

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looney and confusing
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He obviously still has feelings for you, but maybe he's confused.

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Sorry to say it but it sounds like he's only keeping you around for his own benefits. Honestly if I were you I'd put his selfish ego where it belongs: in the dump.

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He simply wants to use you, and not have emotional attachment
I say dump him

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Goodnight Josh !
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G'nite Lizzy
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Mr_FadedGlory

He wants his pie and wants to eat it too. Leave him

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Absolutely!!
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Lets turn this around, lets say you wanted to share his bed, wouldn't you call him baby and hold him to get what you wanted and remain unattached?
That's your answer, move on, find someone who really cares about more than just getting you in bed with no strings attached.

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Hiiiii, Kookiegirl. Am I the only one worried for Shaylen? Last time she was on was 3 days ago!
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No, I've been chatting with her too, I wish I could swoop her up and adopt her, I do worry about her home situation and the effects it will have on her future. My only connection with her is on here though, please let me know if you hear from her.
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Same to you, please. And yeah she is really nice. :)
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So do you have your pool back yet?
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I'm buying a new one this year, I can't wait to get it up. It's still a little cool here yet, but this weekend is supposed to be nice. I'm hoping to get the ground leveled out more since this one is a little bigger.
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Enjoy!
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Jackie, honey, your boyfriend is acting like a "boy" and is no longer your "friend" either. You need to get away from him. You don't deserve this kind of treatment, honey. He's playing with you and glad that you're falling for whatever he's doing, which is probably seeing other girls behind your back. My brother calls me "baby girl". So big woo. Honey, don't let another day go by and let him think you're just someone he can keep fooling and maybe laugh behind your back because of what he's doing. There's someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and this guy ain't him. Please don't let him use you one more day. You may have just gotten "comfortable" in having this relationship, but it's time you made it "uncomfortable" for him. He's using you. Wait for the guy you truly deserve, sweetheart.

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its just so hard my kids who aren't his are very attached I just don't know how to "start over" my whole heart is invested in this but when things get a little rough he wants to split! its pretty sad to say but I've been in a physically abusive relationship in the past and this pain trumps that....
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Hi, Jackie. Honey, I didn't get a notification that you wrote back. I'm so sorry, sweetie. First, may I tell you that, no matter what, children are very adaptable and they can and will get over this if you'll explain it to them in the correct way, that the relationship just didn't work out and you're sorry, but it wouldn't be a good thing for them either. And I SO understand having your whole heart invested in a relationship that I couldn't even begin to put it into words, other than someone doing something to you that makes you feel like he put his hands through your chest, pulled your heart out while it was still beating and just ripped it apart piece by piece. He wants to split when things get a little rough because he's not committed to you, honey. I've been in 3 abusive relationships (yeah, on my forehead is tatooed, "You can't fix stupid.") The thing is, I found that the mental abuse was worse than the physical abuse. I mean cuts and bruises heal, but the words that have been said just can't be forgotten. And, honey, you CAN start over. It's just scary. You've gotten "comfortable" having him in your life. But really, when you do that, if you think about it, you're just like me, showing you have no self-esteem. Don't let him take that away from you. You deserve better than him. It would make you feel so good about yourself if you could hold your head up high, show some confidence (even if you really don't feel it), get things together and leave that man who is truly also abusing you, just in a different way. He's not treating you the way you need and deserve to be treated. You said anytime things get a little rough, he wants to split? Well, that's a form of abuse. He's trying to "keep you under his thumb" so-to-speak. When I'm in a situation where I HAVE to make myself to something, I'll pray about it and then I'll tell myself, "Susan, put your big girl panties on and just do it." And I don't mean for that to come out harshly. (More)
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But sometimes we just MUST make ourselves do things that, in the long run are going to be the best for us. We may be scared, but we are strong. And I dare say that's another thing he's taken away from you, the fact that you know you're actually strong on your own. He's taken away your self-esteem and it's going to be up to you to get it back, sweetheart.
I don't want to "preach" at you. I'm just concerned and I want to encourage you to do what's best for you and let you know how strong you really are. Some men love to make women feel weak. Prove him wrong.
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starting over is what scares me I don't wanna go back to struggling but I also can't make him love or wanna be with me. I try to explain to him no relationship is perfect but he's so quick to give up I just feel so unworthy and I'm not sure how I'm ever gonna be happy again.. thank you for you kind words
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My dearest, Jackie. Honey, you're struggling now, are you not...just in a different way. You're struggling with emotional abuse, I'd rather struggle with the other stuff. He's taken away your self-esteem. You've got to find that little fighting part that's in you and bring it back to life. Go rent the movie Rocky. Talking about being made felt unworthy but came fighting back with a vengeance. Come on, girl, become Rochette. Fight back; fight to get your self-worth back and make yourself KNOW you're gonna be happy again WITHOUT, I mean WITHOUT this guy. Precious, you're not happy now. You've got nowhere to go but up. But, for right now, don't even think about another relationship. Get to know JACKIE again, develop HER again, love HER again. She's not the woman this guy has made you think you are. God made you to be a beautiful woman made in His image, and that's what you are. You just remember that. Be determined you're going to find her again and become even stronger than what you were before this guy came along and took everything (emotionally and a lot psychologically from you). YOU CAN DO THIS, JACKIE. I know you're scared, but sometimes we can do our best when we're scared. I'll try to lighten this up a little and tell you what I tell myself. "Susan, just put on your big girl panties and do it. Sure ain't nobody else gonna do it for you!" I've got confidence in you, honey. Just find some (or manufacture some, I don't care). I just know you've got it in you. Just push forward. Hugs to you. ((Jackie)))
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I have no where for myself or my two kids to live I'm scared of the future because my past and present has made me this way! I am absolutely in no way, shape, or form ready to be on my own again! I have nothing no money, barely have a job, and no transportation! I really just wanna give up I'm sick of loving with my whole heart just to be let down and not only do I have to suffer but my kids also! Why let two kids believe your gonna be there for them only to do the complete opposite?
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Jackie, then I don't know what to tell you, honey. You're in self-defeat mode right now and if I say anything else, it's only going to be a repeat of what I've already said and encouraged you to do. I've always believed where there's a will there IS a way. If you have no relatives that could take you in for a while, there is low-income housing & public transportation or friends. But I feel like I'm spitting into the wind, honey. And you say your kids have to suffer, too? I would do anything before I would hurt someone's feelings on purpose and I never would hurt yours especially on purpose, but unless your children are just very, very small (which maybe they are), then at some point they have (or will) already picked up on the fact that something's not right with mommy. Yes, they may love this man, but if they're not old enough to see it now, they're going to grow up seeing their mommy turn into someone who has no love for herself and let's a man treat her anyway he likes. At some point, depending on their sex, that's going to teach them something. A girl...a man can treat me any way he likes because I don't deserve better. A boy...I can treat a woman any way I like because she doesn't deserve any better than what I decide. How do I know this? Because it's the kind of home I grew up in. And I dated abusive guys and married an abusive man (not the one I'm with now). My abusive ex grew up seeing his father abuse his mother, so he thought it was alright. It's a vicious cycle. And as far as your two children go, I doubt very seriously that your children will ever see you as letting them down, especially when they are old enough to understand what's going on. Children can and have to adapt, honey. You're the parent who has to decide what's going to be best for the three of you in the end. (MORE)
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If you think staying with this man when he's cheating on you (& everybody else realizes that) and using you rather than SOMEHOW making up your mind to get out of there no matter what, there's nothing I can say to change that. I'm so sorry you feel so helpless and now I feel you're angry with me. I've only tried to help you and only want the best for you. But you have to make the ultimate decision. I can only give you advice and support. I guess you'll do what you feel you have to do. The sad thing is, it really doesn't have to stay like this. Hugs to you, Jackie.
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I'm in no way angry at you I'm just having a hard time finding myself
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I understand and I want so much to help.
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I appreciate that
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He's using you physically

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He's doing that so when you find out about the other girls he can claim he told you and you knew that you weren't together.

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