Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit
Jaclyn_Diane

My dad is trying to take my money from me and i'm not sure how to handle the situation.

I am going on 20 and still live with my parents. My dad recently got social security disability. I made a bank account and my dad took me to the social security office so that I could apply for social security to receive money for living at home. I get a one time payment for the time I was living at the house while still in highschool, until I turned 18.I get about $1,100. My dad told me that I can only have $350 of the $1,100. The money is sent straight to my bank account and is in my name and everything. They can't access my account in any way to get the money unless I take it out and give it to them. My dad says that it is his money. He is already getting money from my brother living at home and being under the age of 16, he gets paid monthly for that until my brother is 18. The money he gets from my brother will be around $11,000 and he is taking all of it, my brother doesn't get any of it. Plus, my dad gets his disability money, which will be around $20,000. The $1,100 will help me get a place of my own.

Report as

Well, it's not really yours because you didn't receive the money based on your earnings or disability! I'll explain it this way! I am on disability, I get a check based on me working at least 15 years, at first when all my kids were under age, I got a check each month for each of them but it was based off my earnings! (Now if he never worked or didn't work at least 15 years, he would only get 600.00 or so a month And none for any of you, his children)! The only way that money is yours, is if you are getting disability for yourself which would consist of you being deemed unable to work and not have anything to do with your dads disability! You wouldn't be getting 1100.00 for yourself at 20 I guarantee you that! I'm assuming this is money coming from back pay for your dad because he had to fight to get his disability approved and you were under age at the time he filed in the first place!
Please have respect for your dad, it isn't your money, you didn't earn it. You didn't work and get injured or whatever reason he can't work anymore! So why do you feel so entitled to it? It is his money that he should of got for you to take care of you as a child of his off HIS earnings from the government!
Child support is the same situation, you get money from the other parent to care for the kid, if that parent doesn't pay and then is finally forced to pay after the children are grown, it doesn't go to the kid, it goes to the parent that paid the way by themselves all that time! It is simply not your money, it's your dads and I think it's rather generous to offer you 350.00 in the first place!

Helpful (4) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (4)
Report as
Amen!
Report as
My sister has been disabled all her life, has never worked and gets only 600.00 a month to live on. My dad has always had to pick up the slack to help her have a place to live, food, phone, TV~ everything! When he retired the took 300.00 out of his retirement to go to my sisters income that never increased. Her money stayed the same!! So they took money from him and he still has to pay part of her rent and buy her food and all other needs! She's very ungrateful but at least she has an excuse~ she's retarded!
Report as
I think, or at least I hope you meant to say that your sister is mentally disabled...
Report as
Those of us who are a little older use the word retarded. It did not have a negative conotation when we were growing up. That was left to those who followed us. She has earned the right not to change her language to fit what some stranger has said is a slanderous word. It never was in her houshold.
Report as
Add a comment...

wow... sorry to hear. i would have moved.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (4)
Report as
Jaclyn_Diane
Yeah, I am hoping to move within the next two weeks. My sister was smart and moved out when she was 17 :P
Report as
When you move out, you're going to have to pay bills. Just doing the dishes isn't going to suffice.
Report as
Jaclyn_Diane
I know I have to pay bills, i'm not stupid. My parents just made me do dishes instead of helping pay for things.
Report as
And you didn't volunteer to put money in the pot anyway or come home with groceries?
Report as
Add a comment...

First off, he has no rights taking your money. That is YOUR money.
Second off, you're an adult, you live with your parents, you NEED to pay bills.

Talk to your dad about what bills he wants you to take care of, and do it.

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (7)
Report as
Jaclyn_Diane
My parents have never expected me to pay bills and told me that all I had to do was the dishes. They told me I could live there for free. He just wants my money to spend it.
Report as
You're an adult. It's time to act like one. Adults don't just get to do the dishes. That's what a child does. If you want treated as an adult, you need to act as one. Be a responsible adult, and talk to your dad about the bills you can pay. So then the rest of your money is yours. You don't just get to do the dishes.
Report as
Jaclyn_Diane
They have always treated me like a child, that will never change. My dad doesn't have any bill to pay. He doesn't pay on the house because he lost it and has to move. My mom works and pays for all of the bills, its not that much at all. They can pay for stuff with the money they get.
Report as
That money that you are getting was to pay the bills retroactively while you were still underage. You are unrealistic in thinking the bills are not that much at all. Ask your mom how much comes in a month and how much goes out. Utilities, food, health insurance, medical bills, clothing, car insurance etc. The money your dad gets isn't going to go far. It will take some pressure off of mom. He lost the house because he couldn't afford to pay for it since he couldn't work. Perhaps if you act more like a self responsible adult instead of self entitlement your parents would view you differently. This is the perfect opportunity to openly discuss how they lost the house and how difficult day to day responsibilities are.
Report as
Thank you thistle.
Report as
Thank you very much thistle! I bet all the ones that took her/his side are all young and feel entitled! Uhg
Report as
I think we were all on the right tract. If all our statements were merged it would have been a beautiful thesis. She is not totally at fault in her thinking, her parents raised her with limited concepts of responsibility. They are now reaping the effects.
Report as
Add a comment...

Considering that you are still staying with your parents, your dad will expect you to contribute something to uphold the family. However, this doesn't mean giving more than half of your own money. Since it's your own money, you can opt to move out since you're above 18 years or, talk to your dad and come to an agreement on how much you are willing to give him.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
chazt

Move out and get a job.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

That money is allegedly for food clothing and housing. You were living at home. Your food clothing and housing was supplied by your parents. He's being nice, he could ask you for all of it. You have found money. You didn't work for it, it fell in your lap. Meanwhile until he got disability your folks were struggling for the day to day cost of living. Even with the the SSI check your folks are still going to be tight for money. He could have kept quiet and you would have gotten nothing.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
Damn straight!
Report as
Add a comment...

I would given it all to him..
It's really money you didn't earn
And you wouldn't have any of it without him
How much money have you given him vs. him giving you for the last 2 years?

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

You are 20 and living at home. Get a job and move out. The money isn't a gift, it wasn't earned. Ask how you can contribute to the household while you are there, along with the check he obviously needed.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer
Popular Searches