I checked your profile and see you lost your mom. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine losing my mom. There are support groups for people grieving, or private counseling. It helps to talk to others who are feeling similar pain.
Unfortunately, it is not easy to determine the best level of grieving for you. This is because this feeling is determined by the connection you had with that late person. However difficult it may seem, you need be strong in order to avoid getting sick since this can lead to depression.
The sadness is because they have left us. With time it will be easier to remember without the pain & the tears. The ache may never go away but it will lessen in intensity in time. Stay strong & focus on the positives you gained from having that person in your life. I myself grieve for the family dog no different than I do for a family member. Think of the good times & sadness can become a strength to carry on for & because of this person. I lost my dad when I was 15 to a heart attack but I partially lost him 7 years earlier to a very servere stroke that the doctors said should have killed him. He was only 49 when he died. he had 8 children & 4 of us were still at home aged 5 to 16. yes the youngest came along 2 years after he was classed as a vegetable. He battled his way partway back. He could walk with a caliper & a walking stick. We cant control life we just have to learn to live without loved ones sometimes. whenever I think something is hard or tough, I think of my dad & I get in there & succeed where normally I would have doubted self success. they can inspire you more than anything when times get tough. Hope I have given you some hope.
My mother died when she was only 40 and I was 18. I read your comments. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve. There is not "too much" or "too little" grieving. There is no "good" for you not "good" for you grieving. Trust me, when you aren't so busy in your life, and it is not disrespectful to your mother, the emotions and grief will hit you like a ton of bricks and you will handle it. In your own time, in your own way and my deepest sympathy for your loss.
My condolences for your loss All this advise given has been sound with the unfortunate experience that life is... Much is asked of us at times.. to be strong for others and bear the weight of responsibility to our love ones whom we've lost..is merely two of many Stay strong, take walks and spend this time pacing yourself until things slow enough for you to mourn and celebrate this life shared Best regards
It's been 8 months, am I right? If you weren't still grieving, I'd say you didn't have a good relationship. Had she been painfully suffering with a long term illness, it would be much more easily accepted. But she wasn't. It was a tragic, senseless, violent accident. You might think she suffered, but I want you to know the body has coping mechanisms. I'm sure she went into shock, and the pain left quickly. I'm sure you are trying to make some sense out of the senseless. It's part of the stages of grief. No one can tell you how long it takes YOU to go through those stages. It takes however long it takes. The problem is when you allow it to consume you. Is it affecting your ability to interact with family, friends and coworkers? Have you withdrawn into yourself? Are you not functioning? Is this what your Mom would want from you? We both know the answer to that. We raise our kids to go on without us. That time came sooner than you would like, but it came. You will NEVER forget, but it does get easier. It's up to you to do your best in life, as if she is always watching. Make her proud. I'm sorry for your loss.