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My husband believes our son wets the bed on purpose, he wants to spank him every time it happens, but I don't agree. What should I do?

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Spanking will only exacerbate the problem, don't spank for bedwetting, they don't know what they did wrong, and even if they did know, it only makes the mental block worse. Simply don't spank for bedwetting, ever. Now, as afar as the bedwetting thing, there are a lot of places to find info to help stop it-it's not a new problem for sure! BTW boys wet the bed more than girls.

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You should try talking to your husband about it. Tell him that spanking the child every time he wets the bed is not the solution. You should have patience for the child to outgrow this stage. Try rewarding for those he tries not to wet the bed.

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TAKE this PERSONS ADVICE!!
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Spanking is not an option. That will only make the situation worse.

Before you go to bed, get your son out of bed and bring him into the bathroom. If he is awake enough, he will go on his own. If he is still in a sleepy stupor, you will need to pants him and have him sit on the toilet until he goes.

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Tell him you'll spank him every time he "spills" in the bathroom or makes a mess in the kitchen. Keep him away from the boy....

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sensible answer. I agree
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Depending on his age, which you didn't provide , I would sit that son down and have a serious talk with him . Spanking isn't going to solve the problem! Work with him and protect the bed and have him wear something like a Depends or something and maybe a little embarrassment and coaching and he will grow out of it ! Sometimes kids are scared to get up and go to the bathroom and sometimes it could be a medical problem. When my boys were young and did that, I had them wear diapers to bed for about a week and it stopped . Good Luck !

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He's 8
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Well, he's young and spanking isn't going to help either way . I embarrassed my boys with plastic on their beds and the diapers and that did the trick . Hopefully it's not a medical problem , but you need to have a long talk with him about it. He might just be scared to get up in the dark and go .
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what is the update on this? how is the boy doing and how is the husband doing?
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Spanking is not the answer. Talk to a doctor

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Some kids have a bed wetting problem .. Your husband spanking him only makes him feel worse .. No kid wants to wet the bed accidents happen .. As a parent he should understand .. Just get a plastic mattress cover... It could be do to stress or maybe he sleeps so hard.. It's hard for him to wake up .. Good luck plz don't spank him

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Don't let you husband spank your son for this! A lot or kids bladders don't fully develop until they are much older so they have a tendency to wet the bed. I'm sure he does not do this on purpose...nobody wants to sit in their own urine. He just can't help it.
How old is your son?

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He's 8
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Yeah I seriously doubt this is on purpose. No 8 year old kid wants to be like that.
Especially with his dad on his case about it. See a doctor for suggestions on how to treat this. :)
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benjarick

There are wetness activated alarm underpants that can help wake kids from deep sleep to go to the bathroom. Tell your husband that the intelligent do not make assumptions and that he should handle it more intelligently even if he was deliberately wetting.

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your husband needs anger management . your son might be scared to go the bathroom at night no wonder . put a bucket in your son ' s room for that reason . maybe leave a light on . have him wear long underwear and more to keep that area WARM in case he cant HOLD it is the problem . also - maybe he has a bladder infection has that bin checked ( cranberry juice is good for that stuff ) . also : bed - wetting can be a cover story for child abuse ( go get a glass of water out of the bathroom to pour over the wet spot you wet the bed ) . and of course there ' s diapers . :)

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He's been wetting the bed since he was 4, it's gotten alot better. I've taken him to his dr concerned it was an infection, but everything was fine with him. Thanx for the advice
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If you are punishing him for wetting the bed he will probably 1)try to hide it which will cause a bigger mess and other problems. 2) make him never want to talk to you about his problems or what he did wrong. Because come on. If your child KNOWS he's about to get a butt whooping in the morning do you really think he's going to go happily to you every morning and confess that he's made a mess? Or will he lay in bed, soiled, scared to go face the day and deal with a problem that should be taken care of with a gently hand and love. You think he likes laying in piss? No. Be a good parent and help your son before you make him never want to be open with you and fear you for the rest of his childhood that will lead into him pushing you away MORE in his teen years.

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Thanks you for having sense and explaining everything.:))
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Put a diaper on him but I don't think he is doing it intentionally

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Well first they sell these plastic cover for bed in case that happends but it is late for you. 2 don't give him liquit two hrs before bed time. 3 make sure he goes to the bath room before bed. One question how old is he?

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he's 8

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Bed wetting in children is very common and most out grow it by age 10-12. You should talk to your child's pediatrician about it. There are a lot of things that can cause it but it's not something that a child does on purpose. Try waking him on last time before you go to bed to urinate and no liquids after 5pm. If that doesn't work try setting an alarm for him so he can get up in the middle of the night to go. You might have to do this two or three times a night. Also have him hold his urine a little during the day to help strengthen his muscles. Not for long periods and start with very brief periods which you can increase as his bladder becomes stronger. Do NOT punish him. It's not something he can control and it would just cause more shame.

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Hello there ! How have you been ?
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I've been good just crazy busy with work and life. Getting ready to ship my daughter off to college in August and there's so much to do before then. Plus both of us are a little freaked out by the whole thing. Were very close and having a bit of a hard time. My poor hubby's dealing with two emotional females right now. He's pretty much just saying yes to what ever we want and staying out of the way. My sons lucky he doesn't live at home any more........
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Just kind of like I answered a question the other day about arguing with women! I always get the last words in at my house : Yes, Dear !
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That's kind of where my poor honey is. He's just laying low..... Usually I'm pretty easy going but right now both of us ladies are a little high strung. He's sending us off on a cruise in July with some other friends and their daughters. I asked if he wanted to come too???? He said absolutely not...... I can't imagine why he's trying to get rid of us?
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How old is he? If he's two or three, he doesn't really understand how to stop it. If he's seven or eight, you should probably spank him for it. Or threaten to take away privileges like video games, computer, and TV. If he's too young, spanking him isn't going to accomplish anything. Explain to him that if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he can get up and use the bathroom. He may just not know what to do. One way to prevent this problem is to not let him drink anything before going to bed. Then make him use the bathroom just before ping to sleep. Stop the accidents before they happen.

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he's 8
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Explain to him that's he's allowed to get up and everything else I stated. If it continues, you may want to punish him in some way. Use my "before bedtime" methods and see if anything happens.
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Yes, please keep your husband away from him until he can read some better parenting manuals.
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Never spank a child for this EVER
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No, it isn't the kids fault. That will bring up a lot of fear and trust issues. Tell you're husband to never spank him for something like that.

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Oh my good GOD! I don't even know your son, but I would lay money on this not being done on purpose.

Who does that? Who would even suggest that?

For the love of all that is good DO NOT PUNISH HIM BY SPANKING!!!... Do
you have ANY idea about much trauma induced psychological damage that can be done by spanking him for something he literally can not control? He is
NOT doing this to be defiant. My guess is he is already embarrassed by it. He already KNOWS he's not supposed to do it.

In fact, with the mentality of your husband threatening to punish him causes
enormous stress and increased trust issues for the little guy. He's already dealing with enough stress at it is... And this stress the threat of being spanked
is ADDING to the problem.

Give the kid a benefit of a doubt ... Have him checked by your doctor .. And do some research about problematic bed wetting.

Geesh .. Spanking him for this .. For something he has NO control over, would be like spanking him because of his hair color!

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Thank you for having sense.:). I'm pretty sure it might also be considered child abuse, but I don't know.
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You expressed that exactly how I was feeling! Punctuation and all!
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He can't help it. Spanking will make it worse. I went through this with my son. Please don't do that to your child. He will outgrow this. Some take longer than others. Have some patience for his sake, please.

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I would leave a spouse who abused my child like that.

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Amen, sister! I wonder how the husband would feel to be disciplined at work for something beyond his control.
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Awful situation.
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God bless...that's man needs to get his head out of his a** and start getting some common sense and parenting manuals. Sounds like someone else I know...:/. DO.NOT.HIT.YOUR.CHILD.
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Exactly...do not hit your child and my goodness he's ASLEEP DEEPLY. he is dreaming he's going to the bathroom so he goes. Most children outgrow this night time problem between 7-11 AND interestingly enough, this is inherited from one of both parents but usually with fathers and it's OKAY! this absolutely breaks my heart. My daughter had this problem . At 5 years old she asked me when it would stop. I told her age 8. You know what she did? She made it her own goal to beat that deadline and she stopped at the beginning of age 7. Amazingly enough, she trained herself for daytime potty training at age 2 by seeing other family members using a toilet and she wanted to also. So why would she do this at night on purpose?? I gave a deadline I thought would give her hope and avoided all sorts of future problems. They should leave him alone and tell him he will stop by age 12 (since he's already 8) and don't SAY
A WORD. Why would there be all sorts of products on the market for this if there weren't a lot of children with this condition. They have done much testing on this and their night time sleep patterns have not developed yet so they sleep too deeply. He may even sleep walk bless his heart.
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What you should do is stand up to your husband and tell him not to lay a hand on your child! I read that a large majority of boys who wet the bed have a fear of the father figure in their life... Guessing this could be part of the problem. I really hope you can apply some of this advice as fuel to protect your son, clearly it's wrong what your husband is doing.

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Excellent answer and very true too ! Having a father like that is the last thing this boy needs.
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U both should have a talk with ur son and most children wets their bed because they are afraid of someone or something. If ur son still wets the bed u should put plastic fitting around his bed and u could also have him use diapers. Of course it depends on his age. Just a suggestion^_^

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maybe he has been having wet dreams. its a possibility..,.

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I would divorce a man like that. Spanking is cruel period. Amd spanking for bed wetting. Your husband needs a good spanking.

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My 10 year old grandson just stopped wetting the bed. We never made a big deal or embarrassed him about it. We took him to the pediatrician and she determined that he slept to hard to wake up when he had to pee. First of all at age 7 we had him stop drinking after 7:00 p.m at night and pee before he went to bed. We also had a stretchy sheet on his bed that was waterproof on one side and light blanket material on the other. He also wore depends every night.When he still was wetting and not getting up, she put him on a low dose of medication, and we begun to wake him up at 2:00 a.m. We still did everything else described above also. There was a small decrease in the amount of wetness but not much so she doubled the medication, and we still woke him up every night. He was still wetting but not as much, so she upped the dose another 50% and we started setting the alarm and he started waking himself up and going to the bathroom. After 2 years of the medication and routine he is now no longer wetting the bed. He is off all medication and still gets himself up every night at 2:00 a.m to pee.

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To save on your laundry loads...invest in some big beach towels and 4 big safety diaper pins. Pin the towels down on top of the waterproof sheet. This way you only have to wash the towels and only have to wash the waterproof sheet a couple times a month.
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