Yeah. I think it could possibly lead to a problem. It could also confuse the child by having two moms and one father. Try explaining to it that you are it's real mom. And that she is just The father's friend, not mom.
First of all, I think your a good mother wanting an opinion on this and not just jumping to your own conclusion. I am a mother of four and was divorced when my kids were young, their all grown now so I think I can give some good advice, I hope. The main question is has this woman been in your exhusband's life for a while and do you think she will continue to be? If so, then I don't see a problem. What more could a kid ask for then to have two mom's with that child knowing who his/her real mother is. Better then not having one. Turn the tables, what if it were a man in your life calling him dad. Wouldn't that make you happy to know that your child was so loved with loving parents and loving step parents. It did me and to this day my three older kids have two fathers that they love equally. If it is a person that won't be around on either side yours or his then I don't agree. I always made it a point not to introduce my kids when I was unsure of what the relationship future held. Hope this helped.
3 years ago
Last edited at 9:22AM on 1/9/2011
I also admire you for thinking this through for the sake of your daughter, and seeking outside opinions. I liked all the answers, especially gj27. Assuming the girlfriend is serious about being around for a while and loves your daughter, might there be a special name for her; that is YOU are the Mom, but the girlfriend is MommySandra, or something... Children are so flexible, can adapt to so much if they just have a solid foundation of love.
I too think it's great that u r asking for opinions on this matter. When I first met my (now) husbands daughter (then boyfriend) she seemed confused as to what to call me. She didn't want to hurt her birth mother but ended up moving in with us I have to tell u that when she started calling me mom it felt great that she knew I loved her that much but her birth mother got very nasty with me over it (even though her daughter choose to call me this on her own) so I suggested she call me her other mother. I guess it depends on how old she is u don't want to confuse her but please don't feel threatened. I am sure your husbands girlfriend knows she can never take your place and isn't it great to know that if anything should happen ur daughter knows there is another female out there who loves her and who she trusts
First, share your concerns with the father to see his position on the matter.
Someone apparently gave the ok for the child to call his girlfriend mom.
Next, have a talk with your child to let her know that you're always her mom.
If the child and the girlfriend live with the father, then I can see where the child would want to say mom. If that's the case, then establish a difference between you and the girlfriend. Like calling yourself "mommy" and the girlfriend "mom".