Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit

Can someone tell me if this sounds okay? It would be GREATLY appreciated! :)

it's for an assignment at school.. I'm just not sure if this sounds okay :/ "I strongly believe that shark finning should be illegal and Sharks should be protected and not killed. Bad publicity around a few shark species has doomed sharks in general to the misconception that they are vicious man-eaters, which is incorrect. Sharks are actually inquisitive which plays a big part as to why they attack. While in the ocean and being approached by a shark, it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to attack. Because sharks are inquisitive, they want to know what you are. They do this by nudging you, and may even nibble you. Most people don't stay calm in these situations therefor provoking the shark and running the risk of getting attacked. When sharks are caught and get their fins cut off they are not always dead when their bodies are thrown back into the sea. Without its fins the shark simply sinks to the bottom of the ocean where it dies from starvation, or blood loss. Such a horrible death for such a magnificent creature. Your normal food chain would be: Plankton, krill, and shrimp which represent the bottom of the food pyramid. Then you have fish (all kinds) You then have seals, dolphins, whales (the non-baleen breeds). And finally at the top you have sharks. Considering sharks are at the top of the food chain, their role is vital to ensure that all parts of the food chain lower down are controlled. Without sharks, the ocean would be destroyed. Fish would overpopulate and eat Plankton. Plankton produces 70% of the oxygen on earth. With all the fish eating the plankton, in which we need to live, it could go extinct. With the plankton extinct we wind up with 30% of our air supply, and we need to share the air with many polluting industries. About five times per year, yes, a shark will make a mistake and bite a human, leading to serious injury or may even result in death. On the flip side, we kill 10-million of them for their fins, to get money and make shark fin soup. In all fairness, we shouldn't be scared of sharks, we should be scared of humans. Sharks shouldn't be killed because of common misconceptions, they should be admired and loved for the beautiful creature they are."

Report as

"should be protected instead of being carelessly killed off." That's the only correction I have. The rest sounds very good and professional-like. Hope I helped! :)

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
Haha thank you! :)
Report as
no problem. :)
Report as
Add a comment...

Pretty good

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
Thanks!
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer
Popular Searches