Just tell him. Explain to him how special he is because he was hand picked. I adopted my daughter but never kept that a secret from her. I just explained to her that she was hand picked.... and I HAD to just take what I got when her little brother came along. She thought that was funny. I dont keep secrets from my kids. Never have.
Well, you could have a conversations with him and act like your talking about somebody else instead of him.. Example. "the family took 'Jeremy' in and loves them until now." but in reality, "Jeremy" is "Jacob" (: Good Luck!
Be careful. I'm fixing to have a kid and my parents are going to adopt it for me because of the circumstances of how i got pregnant. When the child gets old enough we plan on telling him. As for your case, take it slow. If the child wants to know who his parents are and why you adopted him be TRUTHFUL. Lies will get you nowhere right now.
I being adopted know what its like, honestly if its a closed adoption and he doesn't know don't tell him. I would've liked it better not knowing I was adopted. Otherwise, make sure you tell him when he's in a good mood, have him sit down, say comfortingly there's something I need to tell you, then say but before I do, let him know it doesn't change the fact that he's still your son and your still his parents. Maybe tell him about another kid who was adopted and say how happy they are, and casually ask him what he would think if he was adopted, whether positive or negative let him know. Key is make sure he's in a good mood. Let him know, reassure him parents are the ones who raise you and they don't always have to be the ones who birthed you. hope that helps.
Well, you took the trouble of raising him for 18yrs as your son.yes,we agree he's now quite old to handle that truth...believe me he too got a heart he will accept you as father even if you lie or speak the truth..Good Luck
Mother "Jacob, sweetie I need to tell you something here come and sit down with me. Alright I've raised you from when you were little to the time you've grown to be old enough and to know the truth. I adopted you back in 1995 and raised you as my own child I'm sorry I'm just now telling you this, but I wanted to make sure you were old enough to maybe handle this. I'm so sorry, but please don't be upset because I really do love you as my own child. You're my child and always will be no matter what." (Hug)
Father "Son, Jacob there's something your I've got to tell you and I don't know how you're take this, but I just want you to know I'll always see you in my eyes as my son cause you are. Jacob you're adopted I adopted you back in 1995 and sorry, but I waited until you were old enough to understand and you can be upset at me if you choose to be. Just I apologize and hope that if you do become upset at me you won't stay too upset at me forever or for too long." (Hug)
10 months ago
Last edited at 12:34PM on 5/14/2013
In my opinion, you should've told him earlier. Anyways, this will most probably come as a shock to him. Just tell him directly. But don't forget to tell him that you love him as your own and nothing will change that. And maybe you should also apologize for not telling him sooner. If you have a good excuse for that, tell him so. He might not take this bit of news well, so give him some time and be supportive and understanding.
10 months ago
Last edited at 10:34PM on 5/22/2013
You didn't say how old he is, so it is hard to tell you how to do it. I am adopted and always knew I was. If he was a newborn he would be 18 now. and unless you have a pressing need to confess, I'm not sure I would tell him. Is there a pressing need for him to know? There is no need to confess to him something that might scar him for life. No need to tell him at this late date. Was it a closed adoption? Then leave well enough alone.
I think you should have told him early, tell him soon because being scared now is nothing compared to how you'll feel years from now when he does find out somehow .you child is old enough to have such information. Start a topic of discussion on adoption with your family in front of your child and while discussing only clear you child that he is adopted and is very special for family.