More information required. Was it 20 years ago and you need to ease your conscience? Then, no you will only be hurting her and she would not have the option to leave because of the time invested in your relationship. Did you fight and separate? Because she may have been with another man too, and would you want to know about that? Was it very recently? Then probably. You may have risked infecting her with an STD or may have a baby on the way with another woman. As CJ said, honesty is the best policy, but don't be surprised if you find yourself single tomorrow......
Honesty is a virtue and you can tell her about your affair you had with another woman. This may bring different reactions but it may be better for you to tell her than let her find out on her own. If you looked at this at a different perspective, then you may think of keeping it to yourself because you do not know her next move. It may lead to certain problems in the family or something depending on her temper.
Unless there is a necessity to do so (a possibility of contacting an STD or a pregnancy for example), then don't. Somethings are better left unsaid. You are not lying to her by not divulging the truth. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. If she does find out, don't deny it with lies. Tell her the truth and ask for forgiveness. If she still does love you she might, but be aware that things will never be the same again. To tell her about the affair would forever make her mistrustful of you and would in all probability hurt her since you have betrayed a trust . It certainly will never be forgotten. You have to ask yourself, "What purpose would it serve? What would be gained by confessing my temporary discretion?" If it is to clear your conscience then go to a therapist and unload your guilt through counseling. ... And don't do it again so that you never have to ask yourself this same question again.
I would say only if telling her would be to 'her' benefit otherwise unless you expect to try this again I would keep it under your hat and call it lesson learned. Unless of course you are or have recently become a Christian. Then for you there are a whole different set of rules.
I'm in the minority, but I believe very strongly that telling her is cruel. What do you hope to accomplish by telling her you screwed up big time? If you just want to clear your conscience, shut up. I can't think of any reason to tell her. People touting the virtue of honesty are not thinking of your lady, remember what Shakespeare said, "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." She's happy not knowing; you'll only destroy her and your relationship by confessing. Quiet! And never, ever do it again.
If ur morally bankrupt enough to break ur promise to her then y is this even a question for u?! U messed up and it worked out for u... Y do the right thing now? To let her know u didnt mean a word u said on ur wedding day? To have her think ur always doing something shady everytime you're away from her for the rest of your married lives? Don't be dumb. Time to start thinking about her happiness instead of ur penis....
NO.If the affair is truly over there is no point in bringing it up.The only thing you will achieve is to have your life as you know it change forever.Do not delude yourself in believing your wife will be able to forget.She might forgive you in time but NEVER forget and something like that will often come up during an argument or a time of pain.Leave things as they are for now and be an honest and descent husband.
Um why'd you even have an affair in the first place? If you loved your wife, you would of stayed faithful. I understand that this stuff happens quite often, and some couples do in fact get through this. So yes you should definitely tell her! She'll find out one way or another, and it's always best to hear things from the one you love. She might hate you afterwards, but at least you'll have been honest with her.
You didn't have the right to cheat but you are obligated to tell her now that you have. You have no say in if she leaves or stays with you...that's not your choice at all now you gave that up when you cheated. Tell her.