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should i tell my wife about my affair with another woman

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More information required. Was it 20 years ago and you need to ease your conscience? Then, no you will only be hurting her and she would not have the option to leave because of the time invested in your relationship. Did you fight and separate? Because she may have been with another man too, and would you want to know about that? Was it very recently? Then probably. You may have risked infecting her with an STD or may have a baby on the way with another woman. As CJ said, honesty is the best policy, but don't be surprised if you find yourself single tomorrow......

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Larryj50 . . . Was One Woman not Good Enough for an Adulterous Gob-Shite Like You.?
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yes there is more..and yes she have been with another man..cause i'm not getting any from her!!
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Larry. I think you should just sit down alone with her and have and adult conversation about it. If you still feel something towards her then make it up to her. Tell her the things that are bothering you and ask her the things that are bothering her. It's never too late, you know? If not then maturely offer the divorce to her. There's no need to fight,or yell, or swear, or anything.
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Honesty is the best policy in any relationship.

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thank you
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Yes, you should.

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If she said same that I have an affair with another man then what will you do? Hahahaha

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Why would you laugh at such a sad situation.
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It's not sad situation. It's bad situation...First of all If he married then Why would he affair with another women? It means that he is not happy with his married life..
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It is quite funny. If he brought it upon himself even knowing what would happen.
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Well I agree with Stevensmith12 he most likely will be hurt but it doesn't sound like he is even remorseful about it, and statics shows most people have affairs just because they can and not because the are unhappy sexually or emotional
http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/
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hmm kevin you are right. :)
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Thanx Miena123. :)
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thanks for comments ...yes i'm misable...i have tried and tried to make the best of a worse sitution..i get no money..no sex..no support from her until i said the we need to time apart... this has been going for years from her..so..i did whats best for me...some one told me this a long time ago..do what make happy ! cause no one else will !
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But larry before that you have to give divorce to her & after that you do whatever you want.
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Larry what did you do to make her push you away in the first place? I mean if she was this way before you married then why did you marry her? Or if it started after you got married then what did you do? Sometimes we do thing that hurts the other party without even knowing it and they start to drift away from us without us even noticing then when its to late and things are different you look at the other person and ask why and they cant tell you because its to late to remember what triggered the emotion.
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kazarina
Mines well said. A lot of people don't realize silent reactions happen too then they become a way of life you can't always undo.
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She already knows

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i think so too !
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and that's the worst part. She is in between 2 hell's 1- that you really did it. 2- doubts. I don't know it's complicated. I'd say don't tell her and make it for her in everyway. Am not talking about money here, but love and support. Remember that you messed up and been given a second chance so be wise and spend it well. Good luck, i know it's not easy to go through this and seeing her going through all these thoughts too :(
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Honesty is a virtue and you can tell her about your affair you had with another woman. This may bring different reactions but it may be better for you to tell her than let her find out on her own. If you looked at this at a different perspective, then you may think of keeping it to yourself because you do not know her next move. It may lead to certain problems in the family or something depending on her temper.

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It depends, do you felt bad it happened? Guilty? If you want your relationship to end, do so. Otherwise, don't tell her. Just never do it again.

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Eina is correct.
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noooo ^ Did you cheat too? Because I cant imagine any other reason why you would give that advice.

If i found out years down the road that my significant other cheated on me but didn't say anything...even if they never did it again... I would be completely destroyed... it is one thing to lie, to sexually betray, and to go behind someones back....its creates a whole new issue if you sweep it under the carpet because you bring it forward every day that you don't fess up.
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Yes, you should! Deceit is the worse thing a relationship can deal with. Please tell us more about it. As I am facing the same dilemma except I am the wife and the injured party.

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I know as soon as infidelity happened once trust is hard to build again
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Why did you CHEAT?

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no love and affection...i have sexual hunger that need to be satify and she knows this from the begining
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So you gave up your relationship for SEX?
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Unless there is a necessity to do so (a possibility of contacting an STD or a pregnancy for example), then don't.
Somethings are better left unsaid. You are not lying to her by not divulging the truth. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. If she does find out, don't deny it with lies. Tell her the truth and ask for forgiveness. If she still does love you she might, but be aware that things will never be the same again.
To tell her about the affair would forever make her mistrustful of you and would in all probability hurt her since you have betrayed a trust . It certainly will never be forgotten.
You have to ask yourself, "What purpose would it serve? What would be gained by confessing my temporary discretion?"
If it is to clear your conscience then go to a therapist and unload your guilt through counseling.
... And don't do it again so that you never have to ask yourself this same question again.

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If you not tell her, she'll find out by other people hence, she will hate your guts x2 pal! You do not hide!
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spitz, you took the words right out of my mouth.
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thanks for comment...
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She might get mad at you but tell the truth is the best thing to do.

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thanks for your comment
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No prob
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Feeling guilty? Think by telling her it will make you feel better? Go ahead assuage your guilt and make her miserable. Or, wait until the next time! Because there will be one.

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Tell her. She'll find out eventually but if you tell her directly there's a chance she'll forgive you. She won't if you keep it a secret and she finds out. Then she won't trust you.

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Sounds like you don't care so, just head up to her and simply say it in her face.

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thanks kevinArocho...i just may do that...i may get some peace of mind.
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Good (: good luck buddy.
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kazarina
Larryj you getting peace of mind is at her exspense. I don't think you have the capacity to truly love. I don't think you are remorseful either. I think you base this question on if she finds out where will you be. Looking after No1 has 2 parts in marriage. Change your dirty ways or go.
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I would say only if telling her would be to 'her' benefit otherwise unless you expect to try this again I would keep it under your hat and call it lesson learned. Unless of course you are or have recently become a Christian. Then for you there are a whole different set of rules.

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I'm in the minority, but I believe very strongly that telling her is cruel. What do you hope to accomplish by telling her you screwed up big time? If you just want to clear your conscience, shut up. I can't think of any reason to tell her. People touting the virtue of honesty are not thinking of your lady, remember what Shakespeare said, "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." She's happy not knowing; you'll only destroy her and your relationship by confessing. Quiet! And never, ever do it again.

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I agree. Keep your mouth closed and I hope you learned your lesson.
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We're telling it like it is, right?
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kazarina
His punishment for playing up is living with the guilt. Fair payment & if she does find out then she will do what's nessacary to punish him on top of that & that's what you get for playing around.
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Yes,however without any information at all it's really difficult to advise.

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Yes !

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Yes because whether or not you tell her she will find out someday and you will be in trouble. The more you hide it the more problems you create for yourself.

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If ur morally bankrupt enough to break ur promise to her then y is this even a question for u?! U messed up and it worked out for u... Y do the right thing now? To let her know u didnt mean a word u said on ur wedding day? To have her think ur always doing something shady everytime you're away from her for the rest of your married lives? Don't be dumb. Time to start thinking about her happiness instead of ur penis....

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no your wife will find out so yes tell her but do it in a way so she would understand like say you were drunk

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kazarina

First off zip it up. Learn to respect women & your marriage or crawl away like a rattlesnake.

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No because it will probably ruin everything.. keep it to yourself and just Don't do it again

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Amazon1warrior

NO.If the affair is truly over there is no point in bringing it up.The only thing you will achieve is to have your life as you know it change forever.Do not delude yourself in believing your wife will be able to forget.She might forgive you in time but NEVER forget and something like that will often come up during an argument or a time of pain.Leave things as they are for now and be an honest and descent husband.

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Um why'd you even have an affair in the first place? If you loved your wife, you would of stayed faithful. I understand that this stuff happens quite often, and some couples do in fact get through this. So yes you should definitely tell her! She'll find out one way or another, and it's always best to hear things from the one you love. She might hate you afterwards, but at least you'll have been honest with her.

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You didn't have the right to cheat but you are obligated to tell her now that you have. You have no say in if she leaves or stays with you...that's not your choice at all now you gave that up when you cheated. Tell her.

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