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Should I buy Christmas presents for my nieces and nephews?

I have 7 nieces and nephews whom I usually buy Christmas presents for. But the last couple of years everyone in my family has decided that they will buy presents for the children only, which is fine, except my husband and I don't have children at the moment (we have been trying for 10 years). So every year we are dishing out at least $400 on presents for everyone else's children and we get absolutely nothing in return. I know this sounds a little selfish as Christmas is about giving, but I do feel like it's a kick in the guts because we have to sit there and watch everyone happily helping their children unwrap gifts while we pretend to be happy about it.

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So it does not look like you are mad at having to buy gifts for the children, and then, just to stop, you should buy, if you don't already have one, a big Spider Plant, The Spider Plant is actually a weed, so it grows fast and it has a lot of offspring. Take the little plants that grow off of it, put them in little pots, with dirt and ribbon (u can get little pots at "Home Depot" or "Lowes") maybe you could paint them for each individual niece or nephew. Tell the children that you are going to teach them how to keep something alive and beautiful. Spider plants are very hard to kill, ( I don't think, they would die, if you shot them) they just need to be watered, and the children will be proud of themselves, for keeping something so beautiful, alive. Also, they will most likely, have the plant, for a very long time.

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I love this idea. Thanks for sharing it.
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awesome idea.or make individual key chains..get the stuff at "hobby lobby" or whereever making .bracelets for the girls is an option. but christmans is about CHRIST. not santa or gifts.take them to a christmas play as a gift. any christmans activity would be a "gift".. havae one or two at a time over and bake cookies as their gift:teaching them to bake. let them take the cookies home in cute boxes or ?.giving of your time is the most important thing. the giving of YOURSELF.
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Great idea!!
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genius!!
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Absolutly if you love them show your love with a heart felt gift

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no,save money

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If presents are that important to your Christmas, suggest a secret Santa deal where each adult picks a name and then only has one present to buy. And you have to pretend to be happy while watching a child open your gift to them? I don't get that at all.

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It's not that I am unhappy seeing their faces when they open gifts from us, it is more that my heart is breaking because we don't have children to share it all with. And one of my nephews is the exact same age as our baby would be, but we lost him at 14 weeks... so yeah Christmas kinda sucks for us. And it's not all about the presents, it would just be nice to feel included in the gift giving and receiving.
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Why doesn't anyone buy gifts for you guys? I'm sorry but that's just plain rude of them not to be giving gifts to someone who buys gifts for their children every year.
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Totally agree with WaitingForAnswers
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I don't think you are being selfish at all! In my family when there is someone who doesn't have any kids I pretend my kids bought that person something for example my brother has no kids so everyone tries to get him something so he can feel included. If not it's that emptiness feeling. I understand completely! Keep getting those precious children something though they probably look forward to it, you will never go wrong being nice to children! so keep it up!
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I sorry about what happened. Your not selfish. I like the secret santa deal though. That would be great. And maybe you should mention this to your sister/brother or have your husband mention it to his sister/ brother. (Whoevers family this is). Your family should understand that your feeling left out and just want to feel included in Christmas because you havent created a family of your own yet.
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I think adoption would be a great option for you guys though...it gives a baby a real home and it's not like the baby won't be like you or yours....it'll be however you raise it and that;s what matters.
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Secret santa is the answer. I am totally beyond gifts at this point in my life(33) I just wanna hang with my Fam, eat some food and have some laughs. Personally, Christmas has lost it's true meaning in the world today and it's force fed to us that you need to give gifts. And with this santa fairytale, kids think the skys the limit. If I ever have a kid, the parents from his/her school will be knocking down my door b-cuz they won't be brought up to believe in that fat reindeer havin sleigh flyin fake.

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Just get them something cheap. It's the thought that counts. If they are old enough to understand than just buy for the younger 1's. That's what we do.

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yes so that you can make them happy on the special day

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No, you do not have to buy gifts for all of those kids. Maybe you could give something else, like bake them some cookies or something. If you think it will cause discord within your family, then buy them each a cheap gift. I wouldn't shell out that much money when you know they will get plenty from their own parents. Sorry to read about your loss. Good luck to you in the future.

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Thank you
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If the kids are from the same family, then just buy them one big gift for all of them to share, it does not have to be an individual gift for them to be happy. If they expect more then their parents can take care of that for them. Enjoy Christmas the way it makes you happy

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agreed-like a trampoline maybe?????
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What are some examples?
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I'm sure that you are a Christian and Christmas is not a business. When you gave at least you cannot expect them back. This season is to bring joy to those who does not have. Though they cannot repay you back i'm sure the reward will be greater in days and life to come. Anyway good work that you are sending gift to your nephews every year and bringing smile and joy to them. Keep it up.

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I am an Atheist
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Even being an Atheist, you are still showing genuine love to others; that sounds like Christianity to me...
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Are your family members Atheist too? They sure aren't displaying any Christian qualities by excluding you during this holiday, so just wondering. But whether you believe in god or not, sounds like you genuinely love your family or it wouldn't bother you. I think it is only human to want to feel loved, appreciated, and included in the lives of those you love.
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You obviously love them. Give each a $25 gift card (Visa is a good one--get it from your bank and they can use it anywhere). They can find out the value of money, plus purchase what they want, which will make them feel "grown up", too. It is a really great way to show your love. And...7 times $25 is only $175.00!

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you should buy them little presents like 99 cent toys or whatever that's cheap

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yess, because, maybe they will help you, plus christmas is about sharing and giving so i would

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yes , but not anything expensive. they won't remember who gave what by the end of the week

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I was doing the same thing for my nieces and nephews--buying them nice things-but when it came down to receiving gifts for my kids their gifts where cheap--(only keeping it real). Regardless--if you have children or not--they still should give yall something in return. IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!keep your money in your pocket--and you and your husband buy something special for each other. KEEPING IT REAL.

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You should be happy for your family members and share with them the joy the children bring to all of you. The gifts' angle is not even important. You can be creative, spend less, and still make children happy or feel generous and wow them (up to you and nobody else). Care genuinely for your relatives in many other ways, and even the children will recognize your true value for more than just one time yearly presents. Good luck and keep trying; no matter what, be genuine in all your efforts and dealings in life. You will be happier for it.

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billdill

I think you should give them each a $10 gift card or money. You can never go wrong with that. I have a very big family too(on both sides of the family) and I know that giving out expensive gifts is kinda overwhelming. Another good idea is to try to arrange a secret santa gift exchange. With the secret santas, the whole family has fun, even if they don't like the present. Keep trying for kids. But if you still don't have any, you should try adopting or just get a dog or something. Have a merry Christmas!

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no

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cupcake4014

yes , you can make them happy but you can do every thing u want , it isn't necessary ...

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you should buy them gifts because christmas is about giving not receiving
and its jesus christ's birthday

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nanawilliams

do the parents of the kids say thanks and if u cant have a kid adoption can be a choice

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just let santa do his job and if he doesn't, just give them money

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Absolutely Not! I had the same dilemma (I also have seven!), and got tired of it. What I ended up doing was buying a family gift per sibling (I have 3). I would get either a basket of sausage and cheese or a $50 gift card to a restaurant...for the family with a nice card. Not only did it save me money, but also I did not appear to look like I was skimping on the idea of Christmas. They don’t complain…and understand.

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secret santa!!!!!

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you should,,, it would be a nice way to say you love them

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I show them my love all year round, I don't need to get them gifts to show them my love.
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Love this response.
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Buy them and anyway will YOU take your chilldrens presents?
I thought so

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I don't have any children??
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It can be handled in many ways as I'm sure you've considered, such as: 1) smaller gifts for all the children, 2) the adults drawing the name of one child to whom they will gift, or 3) secret Santa for everyone. I personally would not make my decision based on the "status quo" to keep the peace.

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How about offering up Christmas Coupons for future outings with your Nephews and Nieces. A movie night, a trip to the zoo, a pizza dinner. Children are great and participating in their lives and creating lasting memories is a great investment for all involved that will last past the ripped paper and toys. Besides its a gift to the parents too free babysitting.

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if you have nobody to give to, just give presents to your neighbors or friends. But, I would suggest presents for relatives to show them that you care.

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I know how you must feel. That would be tough. I'm surprised that someone in the family hasn't noticed this isn't quite fair to you and brought up some other way to approach it. Maybe come up with a couple ideas of your own and tell one of the inlaws that you are the closest to and see what they think about a change of some type.

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As I said I don't mean to sound selfish or that it's all just about the gifts, but it would be nice if they did acknowledge our situation and give us some thought too. :-)
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I totally agree!
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i would say no if it bothers you that much you shouldnt give them presents. but if its not that much a big deal then i think you should be there for your family

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well yeah showe them u do care for them

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I do care for them. I love my nieces and nephews more than anything and they all know that.
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so it does not look like you are mad at having to buy gifts for the children, and then, just to stop, you should buy, if you don't already have one, a big Spider Plant, The Spider Plant is actually a weed, so it grows fast and it has a lot of offspring

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yes you should

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I'd say buy maybe every other year.

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You really should!

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thats good

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yeah, if you really love them, my opinion.

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Suggest that adults each buy for one other adult family member. Why should the kids have all the fun? For ideas, have each person fill out wish list of modestly priced items to choose from.

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hell yes

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no

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Yes, you should still get gifts for everyone. Maybe think about just getting family presents though. You know like one gift for the entire family. Personally, I enjoy giving gifts more than recieving but that's just me.

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Well see that's what I mean. I would love to buy a gift for each family, but the rest of my family have decided to buy "just for the kids". So each family is still getting something because they all have children, each family except ours... we are still a family my husband and I, just because we don't have children yet.
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sounds, like you grew up reciviing gifts, I'm 60 years old now, and still waitiing for my gift.
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We tried the family gift thing too and actually ended up spending more than we would have if buying just for the kids. And we also got zilch in return. I am all for the giving aspect of the season but why is it that only the childless are pelted to give, give, give without receiving? I don't need or want gifts, honestly but unless you are childless, you have no idea how excluded you can feel. Also, telling people to adopt or wait until they have their own is thoughtless and rude because for some, it just never happens. I am always surprised at the attitudes of the way families with kids treat their childless members. They are basically displaying to the kids that auntie and uncle only exist to give you gifts and no, this is not a wonderful time to remember them for all the birthdays, recitals, and games they went to for you or the countless magazine subscriptions, wreaths, and girl scout cookies they bought to support you. It is a terrible attitude and really at this season we should all feel included since we all benefitted from the ultimate gift of life that God gave us.
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Sorry no one gives you gifts. You are doing a very nice thing spending $400 on gifts for our nieces and nephews. You should still buy gifts for the kids even know they won't buy you anything. But it is still a great experiences seem them being happy when they see what kind of gifts they got. This is just my advice. So good luck solving this problem.

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Yes, buy them gift cards and let them pick out what they want!

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Dollar Store!

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The new rule of parents giving gifts to their own children was probably for the family members that don't have children. I know how you feel we are the couple without children in our families and our families are huge. So we opted to just give $20.00 to each child (8) which comes out to $200.00. One year, we just gave a box of chocolate to every household which came out to $100.00 (five families with $20.00 box of chocolate). So, we saved our money for our vacations and we are a happier couple for it. It's doesn't always have to be expensive to share the spirit of x-mas. Good Luck with having children and Merry Christmas!

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Thanks and you have a great Christmas too! :-)
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you should give each child 2 gifts

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I say buy less expensive gits. It's the thought that counts right? Try to find happiness in others joys because when you do become pregnant, your loved ones will share in your joy. It's all good....

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Well you can ask your family for secret santa secret santa is when you cut out pieces of paper and right down the people your family's names on each piece of paper then you put the pieces in a hat cup bucket whatever you want then everyone
takes a piece and they would have a name and they buy there person they have a
present i hope this helped.:D

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if you feel that you r sad,be happy for the children then.It's Christmas for god's sake.Don't feel sad because other people are happy.Luck ! :)

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yes because christmas is a special day for the little kids and i bet the only thing that kids like about christmas is the presents

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If you love them and really want to because generosity is a good thing.

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Get each one a $10 gift certificate-you don't need to spend hundreds of dollars on those kids. We have no kids either, and we won't allow those relatives WITH kids to take all our $$ in the form of gifts! If they're all getting goodies from the other relatives, then they're making out pretty well!

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Yes, but buy cheap things they will love.

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just get anything they like

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only if they are below the age of 15

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I have a total of 14 nieces & nephews plus 4 sisters, 6 special friends, 2 god daughters, and my Dear Mother.I live on low income so what I do is, all kids that are in the age of 13yrs or less, I give a Santa stocking filled with $5.00 worth of simple items and candy, For over 13yrs I buy items of $8.00.For my sisters something practical.of $10.00 For my special friends something sweet $10.00. For my god daughters who are 14 & 15 some phone item from cellphoneshop.com they have great items on sale always. Now For My Dear Mother Natividad she was born on Christmas Day 12/25/1919 I arrange a Dinner Party for the family and friends and I get her favorite Mariachi singers for $300.for 15 songs. its once a year so its ok for my budget. and after the singers leave we start opening gifts.
the whole idea of xmas giving is to see a smile on every relatives face, receiving one gift is a blessing... we who love dont need gifts to impress us. so do your shopping early so you can get sales. I shop all year round and save them for Christmas. get a god daughter. I dont have any kids of my own because of my disability, I share so much with my god daughters I love them as my own.

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well... it's your choice. obviously, I would tell your fam how you feel.

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Honeymx you are a sweet and wise person
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hell ya y not?

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Swallow your pride and try to suck it up. If you were your nephew or neice, would you want a present from your Aunt? Don't be selfish

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Well, you could do what I did. My children are older, in fact grown up. But my sister has small children. For birthdays and Christmas I used to buy them very noisy and annoying gifts. Now I give play-dough, silly putty, and finger-paints as my favorites. Crayons, watercolor markers, and felt coloring posters are also good. The 6 listed actually encourage some use of the imagination and don't cost an arm and a leg.

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Well, If they aren't thankful, that's a problem. But fist do a little test, when you buy them a "good" gift do they just throw it in the corner and not say thank you? or do they smile take it out of the box look at it, and give a hug or thank you, if they do the first one buy something not so expensive they will know why you didn't get something as good for them. But try to respect how they always say thank you if they do.

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don't i wouldn't i mean come on you shouldn't have to spend that much money i think there present's should be you and your husband o by the way im 13 but im very mature for my age

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Why do you even celebrate if you are an atheist?

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I was wondering that too
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yes u should everyone one should have some even if they get on your nerves

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yes all kids should get presents

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First, you should be happy. Have you ever considered adopting?

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yes

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ya'll should do secret santa gift cards to their favorite toy clothing or game store $10-20 i'm pretty sure their getting presents from other relatives and their parents so you shouldnt have to spend more then $20 on each gift

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I feel your pain. My husband and I do the same , and then out of guilt someone will give us something the next day that it's from the 99 cents store.And to me it belongs in the recycle bin , Sad , but you know , this year I will give them cookies wrapped, and maybe throw in a candy cane. Oh , I have a family of 10 brothers and sisters, and they all have kids, plus I have ten grandkids. And my birthday is on the 21st so people try and for get .
I think if you are going to one house, just bake a cake , make it look pretty, This way nobody is stuck with something they don't like and you won't be broke. By yourself something nice.

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have you ever considered Adoption they need lots of love and a couple to care for them (: think .

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i'm really sorry.

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i am soooo sorry about all that and especially about not being able to have kids. But hey, look on the bright side, then you'd have to spend $600 on christmas. And tell your other family to suck it because it's it's christmas, and you guys not getting anything is BULL

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Yes buy them gifts but if there is that many people in your family and not getting anything in return then maybe don't buy everyone a gift. Just a thought.

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yes, because that just proves that you are the better person. and you know what? even though you can't have children of your own doesn't mean your any different.

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If you stop buying them gifts, once you have a kid no one will want to buy your kid a present. Keep it cheap and even possibly make cookies like some one else suggested or try secret santa. Just do not leave them hanging, you would feel worse then you do watching them open their gifts.

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i understand exactly where your coming from same story fas mine now i buy one big something for each family

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yes you love them right!!!

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u should because its the right thing to do even if u get nothing in return.

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im so sorry telling you that but you should not buy christmas presents to someone who dont even care if they really care they will buy something for you thats what family do so keep the $400 and buy some thing nicefor you

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maybe you should buy something cheap but still useful like mp3 and for the not having children have you considered adopting, you get to help yourself and an orphan!

wish you the best

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I don't think its selfish. I went through the same thing for a long time,now I just don't participate in it because i have no kids. But i put it on the tablet, that if they want me to buy their kids something, i want something also. But i do love watching them open presents, but something have to give you know. Do not feel bad about you guys decision, its only fair. Its not your obligation.

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are u going to the festivity anyway if so the kick will always be there if thats the only reason and ur able to afford the gifts try to enjoy the sharing and let the neices and nephews kknow theyre loved

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Scrouge honey let me just say first of all God Bless You & your Husband for being so giving.I understand what it's like when you're trying to have a child of your own & I pray that the Lord will touch your husband & your womb that you will be able to conceive, carry & give birth to your child soon. Receive it & trust Him, it will happen. Second, I have 11 nieces and nephews and only one child myself & I go to a store called Five Below (really nice stuff for $5 or less, toys graphic tees, everything!) to shop for the kids cause it's more reasonable & the kids don't care what I get them they love me & we have a ball! You are not obligated to play Santa for your nieces & nephews & besides, if it's not coming from a joyful heart then it doesn't even matter anyway. But, your adult family members should be more appreciative & get ya'll a Starbucks card or something since you do faithfully bless their kids. Save your money this year & shop smart or don't buy anything. Make the gifts, tell them you love them & pray for them. LAST BUT NOT LEAST Christmas is not about giving gifts it's about sharing the love of God with others & you can do that without money! Luv Ya! Merry Christmas!

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Do what you think and feels right for you if you won't to buy presents than buy presents for who you won't don't worry about what other people think

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well said
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buy them a little less presents, and with the leftover money go out to eat with your husband. You'll both enjoy that!

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well you should be happy watching it and taking pictures you wont always get presents since ur adults and also dont get just the kids something because of course since theyre kids they wont be as gr8ful so give one to another adult maybe ull get something

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I am sorry to hear that you and your husband do not have children. A child is a beautiful blessing from God. Have you and your husband ever thought about adopting a child or maybe two? I truly hope that you and your husband will have children soon. I will be praying for God to bless you with a child. And yes continue buying presents for the other children, they are your family and you should be happy that you are making those children happy even if they are not your children. Cheerup things could be worse. Go see a doctor and see why you haven't been able to get pregnant. God Bless you.

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I think you and your husband should use the $400 and go somewhere romantic for Christmas. Take a beautiful photo and send it to all your relatives with a note "Wish you were here". I am sure your nieces and nephews will get enough presents and your relatives will be happy you are having a wonderful romantic Christmas.

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If I were you, I would continue to keep buying them presents like you already are. I know it probably feels sad for you and all, but try to think of how happy you make them feel on this day.

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400 bucks that is ridiculous. if you feel it's unfair to be selfish and not buy presents...which there is nothing wrong with that, how about buying them something cheap like a small bag of candy

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I would say no. it's only me and every year I go into the hole because of all the gifts. I'm only giving gifts cards to the family. and that will be it. for all the money I use to spend on evry body I could go away to a nice place for the Season.

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yes!!!! there you nieces and nephews

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Christmas is a Christian holiday surrounding the unselfish gift given to us by our heavenly father. That gift was Jesus. If you celebrate in the true spirit, give only if your heart is really int and you desire to give to show love. Give what you can afford and what will delight the giver and the recipient. If you celebrate simply as a fun non-Christian holiday, give if you want to and if you don't want to let it go and forget about it. It's not a must. Christmas should be filled with love not stress over gifts.

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You should explain that because you don't have children.You would like to buy something such as a holiday treat that everyone can share.You could also ask each one of them to buy gifts for needy children you want to support.You could also bring a chid you want to share Christmas with.You sound like you are very generous,they should be also.

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Thank you. That is a wonderful idea. I should ask them to each buy US a children's gift so then we can give it to the wishing tree or some other suitable charity. Thank you so much for this great idea. :-)
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Yes

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What's the real issue? After all, whether you choose to give anyone anything at any time is up to you. So why give? Perhaps either our nieces and nephews are substitutes for the children you don't have (in which case the object of your giving is really yourselves and not them), or do you have individual relationships with them and care about them as individuals such that it's a genuine unselfish pleasure to offer them a hoped for spark of delight at Christmas? I suppose their parents' rule that parents give only to their own is to limit their own financial burden, and/or perhaps to teach children not to take gifts for granted. Would their parents object to your making gifts? Why not simply ask each of them and then simply follow your own conscience, your own hearts, and in each case the respective parents' guidance?

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I would say. make them feel like santa is real. my christmas is not much of the same anymore.but that's not the point. theyre little. and if you care about them. show them.

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taylour

tell everyone in your family that since Christmas is about giving everyone should get a present..not just children

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only if they are good kids if dey disrespect you all year ta day shouldnt get nothin

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well it depends if you have never bought them something then you can try to do something this year but if its every year then forget about it theres millions of Christmas's coming there way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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you could this give your niece and nephew money instead of buying christmas presents.

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buy the girls cheep makeup and the boys socks:)

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That is bull!! You should just let there parents handle getting them gifts!!!

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no there spoiled

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There is know rules for who you have to buy for, Maybe skip that part of the day, and try to enjoy the time you are all together. Maybe start a new gift giving. Buy an ornament for each child and every year they get a new one. So when they get older they can pass this on to there children. And maybe you will feel much better. Hope your Dreams of a child comes your way soon. Good Luck To You and your Husband!

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Thank you
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I don"t think you should buy your nephews and nieces presents, sometimes people need to understand that you don"t have money to be spending on people at the time, even if you have money,especially when you don't have any kids and people don't give you anything back knowing that you don't have any kids...

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take a trip somewhere, so you are not around + not have to feel obligated to buy for everyone

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WERE CAN u get presents is sears THEY GIVE U nice clothes and ToYs

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wow..yikes that hurts.

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Well, if you feel like that, then tell someone! Your Christmas is getting spoiled because of the fact that you have to pretend to be happy. Christmas is only, like, 20% giving. 10% is the good food, and the 70% is spending time with your family and enjoying yourself. If this is getting in the way, you need to take action. Optional: Play the "I Feel.." game. Say," I feel rejected because I give presents to people and get nothing in return."

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no...

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We have always given to all the kids in our family. My brother's family has 4 kids (the most) and one year they suggested that they would rather all the presents went to the kids rather than the parents. Well, the next year we did that and the wife got upset. She said if she knew she wasn't getting anything they would have come later (now that's greedy). So for some it is all about the receiving and not the real meaning of Christmas and being with family. I think you got the short end of the stick. Sitting there and not getting anything is uncomfortable and awkward. I say, try to bring up the idea of family gifts with a set dollar amount. So if you are a family of 6 or 2 it's all the same. It's just divided differently. Christmas is more about the kids and being with family not the presents. Good luck.

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yes

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Give each niece and nephew a $10 gift card or buy a large bag of candy and fix them a cute bag with the candy in it. If they do not appreciate it, you are not obligated to buy them anything. Spend the $400 on yourself.

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yes of course

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Take your $400 and go somewhere you want to go and do what you want to do and don't worry about the little heathens or their parents.

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Just tell your sisters and/or brothers that you and your hubby will not be spending Christmas Day with the family because you are going to volunteer at a Soup Kitchen. AND THEN DO IT !! You'll be amazed at how good you will feel, for what you are doing AND what you don't feel obliged to do.

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