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philandtiff

If i dated a 15 year old when i was 23 and dated till he was 18 then broke up could he take me to court?

and/or could i lose my two children (live in tennessee)

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Let me get this straight . You as a 23 year old woman dated a 15 year old boy for 3 years ? Can he take you to court now that he's an adult? Are they his children ? I need to know that first. Then I can answer.

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philandtiff
no they're not his but she is worried that she could end up in jail or lose them... just so you know this is her bf now i'm just trying to help her in any way i can!
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I think she needs a lawyer, or a new identity.
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I don't think there is a problem . Yes it wasn't the best move bug they dated for 3 years. Unless he is traumatized, and it doesn't sound like he was, he will not press charges. I doubt it's entered his mind. If there was going to be trouble, it would have happened when he was a minor through his parents, teachers, friends, witnesses, her friends, her parents , etc reporting it. If it didn't happen then, I don't THINK it will now, but I am not an attorney. Actually it's in his hands now. Is he angry? Resentful? Does he seem traumatized by this? I can't give you a for sure answer because I'm not there to see how everyone gets along. If this young man is thriving in his life, it should be okay. Is he upset at the break up? I think things willl be okay. Try not to worry and no I don't see her losing her children if she is NOW LEADING A PROPER LIFE. good luck .
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OKAY ! I just read under blades comments that he IS CAUSING TROUBLE. I could have used that info in my answer. GET A LAWYER.
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Because of that I gave a wrong answer! Geez that makes me...
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Why would you risk such a relationship when you have children? Also, reversing sexual roles isn't fooling anyone. Keep away from underage girls.

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It's creepy either way but I see your point
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philandtiff
just for your information i'm trying to help my girlfrend who is going through this right now she gets threats from this kid but she wont let me take care of it and its very hard for her so befor you through your assumeptions around know your facts this is just as hard for me as it is for her and we need prayer more than anything not harshness from people
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Say what??? :O

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Unless you had some sort of influence over the minor but I do not think you can be charged in court. The issue of custody will be determined by a lot of factors, and the sole judgment can be made by a judge.

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philandtiff
they're not his kids
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If he became a father as a minor he could take you to court, the jury's decision isn't guaranteed, but, I'm sorry, thats just wrong. I'd tell you to be more careful but it's a little late for that now.

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philandtiff
they're not his kids
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Still possibly, why are you worried about it?
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Why the heck are u dating a 15 year old anyway >:( . That's just creepy, even compared to spiders.

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philandtiff
we dont need your judgement we need information so please try to be helpfull
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Welcome to ask.com
I think you will find lots of great answers from the ask community!
Now to answer your question..
Yes... I believe that would be considered a violation of laws in you state.. unless you live in Alabama..( sorry Alabama )

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philandtiff
but hes waited some time after they broke up so wouldnt the courts just look at it as hes just trying to cause trouble?... this is her new bf btw or would his case actually hold water?
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Hello Ask greeter :-) lol
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Hi Jac ! :)
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Absolutely, you can go to jail for having sex with a minor. I don't believe there is a statute of limitation for such a crime. You put your kids at risk by indulging yourself with an impressionable young kid.

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What the fudge!!!!!!!! O3o

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You're 23 years old, and you dated a 15 year old boy, and I stress the word BOY! In my book, you are nothing but a predator. And if you can't get in trouble for taking advantage of a 15 year olds raging hormones, then something is wrong in America! My God woman, you are a mother, I just don't understand why you would put your kids in jeopardy!

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philandtiff
ok let me first say this is her new bf and i'm trying to help her not put her up for unnessesery judgement she means alot to me she has made mistakes just like everyone else and JESUS CHRIST will be her judge so please dont be so harsh on her because what things she did she'll have to answer for to him!
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Fair enough.
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philandtiff
i may not agree with what she did befor me but i love her and want to help her.
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Yikes. I believe what you are asking is, can an adult file charges against someone who had sexual relations with them as a minor. I'm not a lawyer, but I would advise your girlfriend to seek counsel. Different states have different laws. If you want to help as much as you say, pay for the lawyer. I won't say anything else.

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Smart answer!
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If this was a female "dating" a 15 year old girl there would be no question which is so sexist. That being said...
She will be found guilty of sexual abuse yes. She cannot be around children, no. So whether you choose to stay or lose them is up to you. An 8 year difference is considered sex abuse. That's the law.
I'm a Christian, I urge STRONGLY that she repent. And I don't throw that around on here, I pretty much have never said it. Let me tell you why, besides pleasing CHRIST, she needs to own what she did. I don't care how old this guy is or what happened, don't you EVER blame the one under the influence and manipulation of an adult. I'm hearing how bad he is, you have no idea how this could have messed him up! As far as it being a while ago, he might just now be coming to terms with it. So don't go blaming him for the adults behavior! She needs to stop making excuses and running from it. Maybe an apology might go a long way. My abusers wouldn't man up. It hit the fan because I WANTED AN APOLOGY!! I got lies and denial. So seriously, she needs to come to terms she may have caused great harm to someone, own it, and do all she can to make it right. And if she can't do that, you best keep your boys away. You really think they're only MEN?

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philandtiff
the kids are hers not mine. she has repented. we need information not judgments I'm not blaming anyone I'm trying to help her like a christen is supposed to do! I am sorry you can so quickly Judge me for asking for help. you can say the truth with out being offensive. the truth can still cut deep but you can present it in a more Christ like manner. I'm sorry you had to go through someone abusing you no matter the situation its never right or easy. she still talks to him but he was physically abusive to her they broke up he told her he doesn't want to be with her.
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You said HE is bothering her. Been there. I'm not judging I'm telling you what it is and you don't like it! She needs to deal with him on his terms as long as it won't cause her harm. So quit saying everyone is judging because she did something wrong. Saying a cat is a cat is not a judgement. It's a fact. I read you said he is bothering her a long time after "they broke up" are you even hearing yourself?? He was a child! You are blaming him for bothering her!
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What is he threatening her with?
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Phil, I'm so sorry the situation is what it is. I'm sure she was horribly abused which caused her to have problems. It's a vicious cycle. She needs to out herself before he does. Bottom line. She needs to make things right and if that isn't the issue, eliminate any black male thing. I'm sure if the courts thought she's truly repented they will be lenient. I wish you the best.
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Trinity, I think you may have something. Maybe her now 18 yr old ex boyfriend would simply like a sincere, repentant, apology from her. Just because he is now at the magic "adult" number doesn't mean he is now mature and can put things behind him. Heck, if anything he's probably pissed, and now realizing he was taken advantage of and realizing he has a bit of power in this situation. Perhaps if she admitted what she did was very wrong, damaging, hurtful etc... he would ease up and stop threatening her? Or, perhaps facing the consequences of our court system is just what she needs...
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And the only reason I say ease up is because of this woman's children, they need their mother. You can bet if this was a role reversal people would really be gunning for his head. Regardless, this young man has been adversely affected by the relationship. And! The factor of abuse? Hmm....
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Exactly what I'm trying to get across. I'm not judging this woman. I'm saying she caused damage and needs to rectify that. I got angry at the wording of the VICTIM as being bad.
I was sexually abused by several men as a child, and an adult, drugged and passed around so to speak. And I did not live a risky life. The people involved were people I loved and trusted. I "go away" when traumatized, dissociate. When I recovered memories I called these men. I wanted an apology. It would have gone a real long way in healing me, who suffered from PTSD! People only think war vets get it. Guess again. Well they lied THEN INVOLVED OTHERS to make me look crazy! I lost it. I went all over Facebook trashing these people. I'm not proud of what I did. But I just wanted to be HEARD!! I had something I wanted to say and I wanted it heard! So now we all suffer the consequences. It didn't have to be like that! But I lost it in my anger and need for revenge, no, not revenge, to PROVE IT!
We all make mistakes in life. It's how we deal with them that matters. I've sinned greatly. I am an addict. I did something that's a felony. Didn't think it was hurting anyone but me but it's very against the law. I changed scripts. I stood before the judge and said I did it, I'm guilty. He said get a lawyer. I said no, not taking money from my family. We went back and forth on that. I said I'm an addict, I was desperate, I did it, do what you must. He looked at me shocked. He said "Well I am not going to accept your guilty plea, get a lawyer!" Hit his gavel and called the next case. The whole thing was DROPPED until 6 yrs later I got arrested and hauled off. 6 months before the statute ran out. I was irritated to say the least. I plead guilty and was ready to do my time. Then they want to deal with it when I was sick!! So I said that to the judge and said the same thing, I'm guilty, not getting a lawyer and do what you must. He gave me a lawyer. I got 6 months probation and community service.
This is what I'm trying to get across here. If she's hiding from it, it's not repentance. And if she owns it, it may not be as bad as she thinks. But just own it!
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Thanks for sharing and good advice.
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philandtiff
that's a hard story to hear and I'm sorry that happened to you but I thank you for the advise. I'll keep you in my prayers
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