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What is the best way to handle a ongoing conflict with a father in low agents his ex wife while you are in custody of his 15 year old?

so my husbands parents have recently split, in the split his 15 year old brother moved in and we are now his guardians , the dad moved in walking distance to us and comes by a lot . he is always fighting or complaining about his ex and talks bad about my husbands and his brothers mom all the time calling her names and bad things. he has now made it so uncomfortable for the 15 year old that he doesn't even want to be home. we have talked with him in privet asking for him to stop and have also kicked him out of our home for it. our last option that we can think of is cutting communications with him but we don't know if that's good or not. we are just trying to protect the kid from more damage and so that he can live a semi normal life. im not sure what to do in this case and don't want to make things worse any thoughts?

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Wow. Thankfully your 15 yr old brother-in-law has you and your husband. I would talk to your father-in-law again and ask him to get some counseling to help him redirect his anger and hurt more constructively. Let him know that bashing his ex is not helping anyone especially his sons. Let him know that he needs to focus on more positive things in his life or you will have to limit his time in your home.

I know it isn't fair that you are put in this position. I also understand it is not easy. My mother-in-law is the same way. My husband was going through depression and anxiety and I had to run interference and limit her exposure to my husband. (Thankfully we lived far enough away that her contact was through the phone only) I also had to tell her if all she did was complain she was not going to talk to him.

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You are the legal guardians? Sounds like a really uncomfortable situation all around. Is it maybe time to get a restraining order?

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As VS said, it all depends on whether you're his legal custodians. If the boy is simply choosing to stay with you, you have no right of restriction from either his mother or father. But if this is a legal custody situation, you would have the right to decide how and when the father has visitation. You've already warned him it seems, but the guy just isn't using his head. Why don't you check with the court on your rights and responsibilities? Also, at 15 the boy should have some rights to his own preferences. I hope his father soon sees how he's damaging his son. Also, good for you and your husband, for having the boy with you.

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You can try and find a way to become the legal guardians of the child so that you can choose to move away if that is an option. If need be, you can get a restraining order in the meantime to stop the boy's father from coming over unannounced.

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