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On my porch there are these big long black insects about 3 to 5 inches long and when I poked one it sprayed my hand with somekind of juice..

that when I smelled it it made my nose burn and gave me a short little headache. what the heck was it?

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That is called a stink beetle :D They are actually called a Pinacate beetle, and I would avoid touching them at all... They are called stink bugs for a reason.

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go see a doctor.. the web isnt gonna help THAT.

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Stinkbug. A vinegar smell? That's a mild acid.

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Its a defense thing. Its not harmful but it smells awful. If you were a predator to them they would shoot it into the predators eyes causing a burning sensation which would make the predator flee. But nothing will happen to you. I would recommend using a strong germ killing soap!

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Is this what you saw? http://pestcemetery.com/spitting-devils-walking-stick/

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Yes, that's it exactly. Thank you
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