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Funny comebacks to common sayings?

What are some funny comebacks to common sayings like:
"I love you"
"What's up?"
"Wanna hang out?"
"Can I have your number?"

Things like that.
Thanks in advance, every comment appreciated ~

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I love you --> Everyone does.
What's up? --> *look up* That cloud/bird over there. Or --> My annoyance level.
Wanna hang out? --> No---my doctor said I should stop hanging myself.
Can I have your number? ---> I don't know. Can you?

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That's what she said.

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I love you---> I know right! I love "u" too!
What's up---> That Disney movie with the flying house...or what I usually say, the sky or ceiling

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I love you--- okay, where's the hugs? My name's not Charmin, you know!! What's up?--- the sky, the moon, the stars, the clouds!! Wanna hang out?--- not really, I'd rather stay on the ground!!

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