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Why do women push away good men and date bad ones?

seems like the good guys are really the bad guys to women. they treat the bad guys like Prince Charming .they waste time with the wrong guys even sometimes for years. the good guy is sometimes forced to settle for whomever is left . what the hell is wrong with women ?

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Sounds to me like you need to broaden your circle of people. You are really generalizing women by comparing them (and unfairly I might add) to the ones you know. Could it be possible that you have self esteem issues that quickly affect how women treat you? No one wants to be around a sad or self deprecating person. Are you trying to "save" them and they do not particularly want or need saving?

Some "people" are shallow and want what they think will look good on their arm (this includes men). Sometimes it is knowing that the person with poor behavior is dangerous and exciting. Sometimes it is the old "I can change them".

You last sentence may be better stated as "What the hell is wrong with people?"

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You make some great points, Yos. There are indeed many men who have a thing for bad girls too. And this guy is probably projecting at least as much as he is observing.
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Women a lot of the time think I am too good to be true. They try to find something wrong with me and never do. It's like their mission to find something to change or fix. If a guy is too set he is boring. It's like I have to go to prison or slap someone around to get women's attention. Maybe I have to get into drugs or sell them. I am one of those guys women can take home to their parents. I guess that's a bad thing. I have to make their parents cringe. Maybe I should get tattoos and piercings all over.
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I just looked at all of the Qs you have posted. Sounds to me like you need to make some personal changes. Don't worry about being with someone and concentrate on your own happiness. Sounds like you are going into a relationship already defeated because you just know they really want some other type of guy. Widen your circle of people. Also, realize that what YOU think about yourself being a great guy is not what others may see. What you may see as confidence others may view as arrogance.

Basically though.....you do not sound like you are really ready for anything right now. Concentrate on being the best you that you can be ... alone. No one else can make you happy. No one else is responsible for your happiness. Once you achieve this, the type of woman you want to be with will not be so hard to find.
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You know, Martin, judging by the majority of your past questions, this seems to be a big problem for you. I agree that there is definitely a sizeable population of women who go for the guys you are describing, but they are not all like that. I know it can seem like they are. If you just happen to be surrounded by them, as I once was, try some new surroundings. Sometimes that isn't easily done, especially if you are stuck in a school or work environment where there aren't many options, but do what you can to switch it up. And don't have preconceived notions when you meet a new woman. If you go into a new relationship of any kind with hard expectations, you will likely get what you expected.
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The only thing I have to say is if they aren't the ones for me can they at least go for someone better ? I would be fine with that. But when so many go for such trash only to get pregnant and dumped later it gets annoying. Then you have those women crying to the good guys they passed up to save them
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Martin: you've no business judging other people's ideals in dating. This makes you look like a poor loser.
It does not matter if it is "fine for you" that they date some other nice guy. You are not the one they are dating. If they choose to get pregnant by a douchebag, then that is their business not yours.

All we have to go by for you are your Qs and responses here. To me you come across as bitter and have preconceived ideas of women. I'm sure this attitude is evident in your real life interactions as well. A woman seeing this attitude is going to avoid you. Get rid of the anger and poor-me attitude, learn to be happy by yourself. A happy person attracts a happy person. Don't be so judgmental.
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Thoughtful answer Yosey, but a waste of time, I think.

This question reminds me of a very old song from "Carousel":
My mother used to say to me
When you grow up, my son
I hope you're a bum like your father was
'Cause a good man ain't no fun!

Stonecutters cut it on stone
Woodpeckers peck it on wood
There's nothin' so bad for a woman
As a man who thinks he's good!
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Lol! I'll have to watch the again :0)
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And then they try and change 'em.

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Women are fools if they think they can change those losers
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Ha! Great an true answer.
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Because the bad ones are usually more exciting and the good guys are a lot more "safe" of a choice and young girls want excitement in their life.

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It is really sad that women are like this.
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I agree. I always give "good" guys a chance... and now I'm marrying one! :)
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but not all women are like that thankfully
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I am trying to get this girl away from the trash she is with. Have a couple girls to throw in her face to try and see if she wakes up. I need a miracle with this girl if I am right she will get jealous
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Don't use other girls to get her. That right there is a sign you're not a "good guy" If you're really a good guy and you want to win her over, be yourself and be kind to her. Treat her better than her boyfriend does and be there for her when her hurts her. She'll start to piece together that she would be better off without him and with someone like you.
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These girls want to help me win her over. I have always treated her with respect. My male friends weren't much help with her. They pretty much scared her off. she tends to talk more to me when I am alone.
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Well good luck....
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Just don't play games and expect to "win"! A good relationship is a "win-win" situation. Sounds to me like you are trying to " save her from a fate worse than death...". You can't save anybody that doesn't want to be saved!
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SarcasticAndSweet

Not all women do this! I'm dating a good guy and I wouldn't trade him for all the bad guys in the world!! Part of his attraction is that he is such a good guy. Randy is my hero! :)

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Wish the girl I like would see that in me. But she is dating a big loser instead. Trying a plan to win her over from that clown
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SarcasticAndSweet
I'm sorry. I know all women are different, but here's my thoughts. Randy is a good guy. He's responsible and caring. He's funny, smart, playful, and so involved in his community. That is incredibly attractive to me!! Why would I chose a jerk that will take what he wants and leave me when I have this handsome hero that treats me like I'm a goddess?!
I know you're crazy about this girl, but you might need to find a girl that appreciates you.
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SarcasticAndSweet
I really didn't mean that last sentence to be as callous as it sounds. I wish you the best of luck.
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So sweet, Diane. So sweet. :)
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SarcasticAndSweet
Oh, Gail, thank you! How's your day going?
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It's a personal choice.

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Women want a caring guy but want him to have some mystery behind them.

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I am caring and a huge mystery to women. This girl that this question is really about is dating a big time loser. Anyone that told her to stay clear of him she didn't listen to. What kills me is she is so naive. He has been arrested several times and is into drugs. All his friends are the same garbage like him. She is or was a good girl that just got lost.
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What's mysterious about a jerk? There are plenty of enigmatic gentleman out there.
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The guy this girl is seeing is a jerk. I care about her a lot and wish she was with me instead. She is wearing blinders. She can't see him for the trash he is
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Boy, that is the age-old question that has plagued good guys for centuries. Your guess is as good as mine. And it's a tragedy that impacts society as a whole, since many of these jerkwads end up impregnating these women and then leaving or prompting the women to leave. I think women do it so that, when the relationship ends, they can be the victims. They can listen to breakup songs, have gripe sessions with their friends, cry on the shoulders of the good guys who will have lots of encouraging things to say to them, and generally indulge in other behaviors that validate them and absolve them of any blame for their bad choices.

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I met a lot of women like that. Most of the girls that come after me either have kids or a ton of mental baggage. Normal happy women never bother with me
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You'll meet one someday. I did. And it was refreshing meeting a self-actualized woman with (gasp!) self-esteem!
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Rees: I really think that has a lot to do with the circle of people you are around. You have to take responsibility for the situations you decide to put yourself in.
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Very true, but the kind of women this question is about exist in pretty much all circles. And the "bad guys" come in many varieties too. But yes, if you look hard enough, you can find any type of person.
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You're nothing like your avatar. ........................* waiting to see you curl into a ball, and grieve * 8)
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I'm not crying....out loud...
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He let's it all out in his music......
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In some cases it's a form of rebellion against controlling parents. In some cases there guys are opposites and have traits that women don't, opposites attract. Sometimes it's what's familiar--- controlling parents = controlling boyfriend. In some cases they get expect to fix bad behaviors which we know never happens. Some women have self esteem issues and don't think they deserve any better. There are as many reasons as people and none of them good. My advice is to step out of self defeating choices and pick the good guy!!

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This girl is Chinese so she comes from a strict family. That's the main reason I posted this question. The loser she is seeing she makes him sound like Prince Charming in her mind. I want to try to win her over.
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It's going to take patience on your part. She may not even realize what she's doing by picking this loser. She sees in him what she wants to see. Eventually this guy will screw up royally. You just need to stay friends until that happens.
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Guys make the same wrong choices as well.

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I am sure some do. Me on the other hand usually observe first at how women act before I go any further
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These men, are probably the types they think suit them, because their mothers were dating/married to them. So these men are the only example of what a man is. It's been imprinted on their brains. Usually a girl reared in a home where her mom is beaten by a man, ends up with the same type of man. And boys raised in those types of homes, grow up to beat women.

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