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What do you do when someone you love is in emotional pain and won't accept your help no matter what you say, or how nice you say it?

I truly believe my father is seriously depressed and won't admit it to himself. I try talking to him about it but he denies, avoids, insults me, and acts out in anger. I want to help but he says he doesn't want anybody to help him. I am suffering while I watch him suffer. I spend my life helping others but I can't even help my own family. it's killing me.

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first of all im very sorry hun :( from my perspective i think you should have a one on one convo about this situation

xo

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Thank you so much.
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Sometimes people believe that they can handle it thier selves and they just dont want to be bothered but dont keep pushing into the situation you will only make the person think about what ever it is thier going through even more . I know you really want to help but you can by just being there whenever they need you .. :) dont worry it will get better if not go see a counselor .

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Thank you!
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Your welcome love ... :) any questions just ask me !
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This is probably very hard for your dad He is use to being the one to help and comfort and now you are trying to help him . I really think the best thing to do , because of your relationship is to let a adult family member talk to him and help him find help . Wishing you the best outcome !

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Thanks you.
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Your welcome , I really hope he starts feeling better. Its hard to watch your parents suffer in emotional pain . .
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australis

Hi doonies,emotional pain of a loved one is very difficult to deal with and it can be caused by a number of things.Three years ago my mum passed away and my dad lost himself and suppressed all feelings and the will to go on.Surprisingly he took out all his pain on me and refused to listen to anything I had to say and rejected my help.He would say hurtful things to me and blamed me for EVERYTHING.He refused to get help or acknowledge that he was depressed.It broke my heart to see him like that..I felt helpless and no matter how hard I tried to reach out to him-he turned me away.This went on for almost 2 years.I know it hurts but you have to insist and continue to let him know that you care because he won't just snap out of it.You need to help him acknowledge that he is depressed and don't let him isolate himself.-push him to get help and don't distance yourself no matter what he says.He needs to hear repeatedly that he deserves to feel better and be happy..until you convince him to get help.
I wish you all the best.I understand all too well what you are going through.

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very nice, Sandra
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australis
thank you so much Gail..it's something I find very difficult to talk about because it was a very painful period in my life.Gail..the reason I asked before if all was ok..was because I thought you were not answering back..till i realized about the notifications.Sorry friend.
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You're welcome. Yes, of course. I am sorry about your mom.....and your dad.
I have just mostly been not here is all, Sandra, but, yes, I do miss getting many notifications. No need to be sorry. Thank you, Sandra.
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Thank you so much
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australis
You are very welcome..I hope I helped you just a little.
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Hey, yin is not happy. they took that other question away. She was happy talking to you and Cj.
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Maybe you can comment on another one of her answers.
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australis
I just went back to comment and poof it was gone.Don't laugh but do you know I didn't get the question at all .
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australis
I will..I enjoy talking to her.
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It was having something to do with his lower half. Hope you get the hint. trying to be respectful. Yin said you commented on the her child support question also. If you want to talk to her, she is over there:-)
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australis
Ok..thank you.I will pop over.
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okay
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kazarina
Sandra watching a loved one self destruct is heart rendering but to watch them take down another (you) with them is even worse. I think sometimes you can be too close to help. But your beautiful loving nature is always there standing by those you love. I commend your dedication & hope one day your father understands that your un conditional love for him no matter how much he tried to push you away is the greatest gift a daughter can give. While your life was turned inside out & upside down by the loss of your mother, you still found time to support your father just shows the strength you carry within your heart. Do you know what a privilege it is to be your friend. I wish you could see how I see you. You truely are an angel on this earth. Thank god got people like you. Xx
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australis
Thank you so much Kaz.You mean just as much to me.Without your guidance..I feel lost my friend.
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Hi Kaz! Sandra, my fave pic!!!
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kazarina
Hi Hondo.
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Some people you just can't help. They just are independent. Only they can make themselves happy. Try to do things with him to make him forget his depression.

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Thanks a bunch!
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My girlfriend wouldn't let me help her I pretended to cry and it worked!

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love him in his "language".. find it.. and go there
find ways to love him until he is ready to ok
prepare for a long road if nec

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Thank you! That is so true.
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It takes courage to help someone who doesn't want to hear what you have to say. Sometimes you have to be big enough to say what needs saying, even if it's the end of the relationship for at least a while. That takes more love than just saying "there, there, it's alright." Good for you!

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Ur right
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